Anybody on here ever had a partner that was bad in bed?

[Guy]

Has anyone on here ever had a partner that was bad in bed?

 

[dilligaf0]

My ex-wife was quite good in bed (at least that's what the guys she screwed around with said).

 

[Rose]

Yup. More than my fair share, to be honest. Half of them were lucky to get second chances, and that's why they never got a third. It's one thing to be bad in bed, but bad in bed and not willing to communicate, try new things, or learn? Fuck that shit. If you have no clue how my genitals work and aren't willing to get informed then you don't get access to them.

 

[DeezNA]

Yeah, Rose nailed it as far as I see it.

I've had a few partners who were, as I like to put it, "less than compatible" with me as far as sexual activity goes. Some were even long-term relationships. The biggest key in what was going wrong in those interactions, from what I've gathered, was a lack of communication or just poor communication which resulted in one or both of us not being sexually satisfied. Going through the motions, not openly sharing or seeking what we wanted, not trying to learn, etc.

Sex is like a conversation. If you're speaking the same language, open-minded and are extremely compatible, words don't even need to be spoken (but they sure as fuck help, especially in trying new things), but if there are misunderstandings or there is a lack of information, it tends to not really go that well. Things get awkward, comfort level diminishes, the fun just dissipates because the connection just isn't there.

Big point being that, in my opinion, there isn't necessarily a direct correlation between "experience" and "good or bad" since every partner is different. It's all about what kind of connection, chemistry and level of communication is open between those involved.

...that's just my two cents based on my personal experiences.

 

[Deleted member 16664]

Yes, but I was also childish enough at the time to not fully communicate my needs for fear of hurting the feelings of my partner at that time. Ultimately, it ended with the most hurt feelings and I felt terrible. In my opinion, it's always better to be upfront and honest. I do think many things can be worked upon. Sometimes it's just not a good match. Chemistry is important.

 

[kelliver]

So the only person I've ever had sex with is my current boyfriend... dating my high school sweetheart, aw yeah. And let me just say that we've never had a bad session, I got lucky there. That said, I have had some experiences with horrible kissers and boys who do not know how to touch lady parts.

Experience one; my first boyfriend did not know how to properly massage breasts. He was way too rough and when I sort of politely tried to tell him not to ("Oh, you don't have to do that, you know"), he said, "But I want you to feel good too!" TRUST ME, YOU WON'T ACHIEVE THAT BY HANDLING MY BREASTS LIKE THEY'RE FUCKING MODEL MAGIC.
Experience two; this is actually bordering on non-con so I'll keep it brief, but this guy was fingering me and. Oh my god. I swear it felt like he was trying to be a DJ. Just. No. Please learn what a clit is and try again later.
Experience three; dated one of my colleagues at the pool, when we were making out he would just sort of circle his tongue around in this weird sort of Olympic-level snog that lasted so long I had to pull away to breathe (reminder that I am a chronic asthmatic). I jokingly reminded him of this and he said, "What? I thought you were a swimmer." YES. AND I COME UP FOR AIR FROM THAT TOO.
Experience four; another upsetting story so to sum it up, a guy once bit my lip so hard during a makeout session it was bruised for three-four days. Needless to say, that was the first and last time I kissed that arsehole.​

Now that I'm older and wiser I think the reason my current relationship works so well is because we're both incredibly open and we communicate what we want, what we like, and what feels comfortable. Boyfriend is good to make sure that I'm okay. And he knows where my fucking clit is.

 

[gonegirl2352]

Machine gun thruster guys. You know they watched too much porn. Selfish bastards who don't pay attention to body cues and don't give a shit if you orgasm. Guys who only want BJ's. Guys who only want anal. Guys who only want doggy. Closeted gay guys who are so ashamed of it they get mad if you act a bit too masculine. Guys who use you in any way.

Thankfully, I haven't been with a closeted gay guy. All my past experiences with men who sucked in bed lead me to a man who makes me see space every single time we make love! I did not believe it was possible but hot damn they do! And, a man who really knows how to be a good lover is usually good in all other areas of his personality as well.

 

[Teagan]

One guy. Just one. He went immediately in to jackhammer mode from the first second till it was over and with only kissing as foreplay beforehand so it was extremely unpleasant to say the least. I talked to him about it the next day and I was very gentle and told him rough was fine sometimes but warm me up please and I like sweet sex too and I would like to try that next please. He informed me his ex wife liked it like that and it was the only way she could cum. I politely told him I was not her, I am me, so please dont fuck me like i'm someone else cause I'm telling him what I like. He then told me well his other 2 ex gfs liked it like that too. I had to reiterate I was not them. It was like he was arguing with me. WTF man. I told him I was never gonna cum from that and he seemed more receptive to that. I gave him another chance and he did the same damn thing. Carbon copy basically. I was done at that point. When your partner sits you down and tells you flat out what they like and you ignore every bit of it then fuck them. There's no excuse for it and you no longer ever get to touch me.

 

[eyeteach]

Hey now, I thought we had an understanding: "No starting a thread about eyeteach WITHOUT his consent!"

 

[Remykins]

Too fucking many....

 

[yummybrownfox]

Has anyone on here ever had a partner that was bad in bed?

Selfish in bed, yes. But not bad in bed.

 

[eyeteach]

Okay I'm going to be serious in my answer. I've never had a "bad" experience with any girl that I've dated; and honestly I never got any complaints, either. I did take some by surprise when I asked them what they liked in bed or if there was anything they wanted to try that they'd never done before. I never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the hallway and I surely can't read minds, so how could I know what that particular girl likes if I don't ask, right? To a girl they would let me know and I tried my damnedest to give that to them; after all, a good partner should try to be open and satisfy his/her partner. I once dated this girl that liked to give oral but absolutely abhorred receiving. It took me some time before I could get the reason out of her but when she finally told me why I didn't push it...it was her reason and to me that was all that mattered.

All I can say is what works for me may not work for everyone, I really don't know. But am I wrong for trying to open up that discussion and asking those questions or would y'all prefer someone like me to assume I automatically know what to do and what buttons to push?

 

[Rose]

@eyeteach I ask those same questions before sex.

 

[SloaneQ]

I can honestly say I've never had a good partner in bed. At best it's good a few times, but never great. Perhaps my vagina is just hard to please

 

[justjoinedtopost]

First committed live in relationship. Beautiful girl. Dead f*ck. Abysmal blowjobs. Complete airhead.

Couldn't talk things through, she was too stupid. Left her before a full year was up for someone less attractive (physically), but who had half a brain.

Ten years later ran into her in a grocery store. Right there in public she loudly blessed me out for f*cking her friends while we were together. Ten years later. No "Hi, how are you? How's life been treating you?" Just went straight for the "How the hell could you do me this way!?" I let her get it off her chest, then I ambled off towards the frozen foods section.

Her last words to me were an angry "But don't worry, because I am over your ass." No sweetheart. It doesn't work that way. You'll never be completely over me. I am the one that got away.

I spent a lot of time over the years feeling guilty about the way I behaved towards her. Got plenty of regret there. But I can't call up one good memory of her. Not one. It's a shame the sex was so terrible.

 

[Sansa]

Yes, and it came down to lack of chemistry for the most part. But I will also be honest, they just weren't big enough. Average or smaller just doesn't do it for me. Both were good with discussing sex and being open minded, but I just couldn't get turned on by them at all after a while. I kind of figured that maybe we could find something that worked, but we just didn't.

 

[gingerhobbit]

Generally speaking, for guys, there is no such thing as bad sex. Whatever happens, doesn't matter...had sex. That being said, however, there have been some experiences that were less good than others.

There was the woman who stuck her tongue in my ass and then tried to kiss me with that tongue. Um, no. I didn't like it when it was going in my ass. I sure as hell don't want it going in my mouth now.

The woman who only wanted missionary and only with her legs straight out, flat. That's how repressed she was. Absolutely refused to wrap her legs around me.

The woman who never let me go down on her, which is, like, my thing. I felt like the kid who could only look at the lollipop, but not lick it.

The woman with the coarsest pubic hair I have ever encountered. Seriously, it was like fucking a Brillo pad. Rubbed me raw every damn time.

The woman who had more of a happy trail than me, and my avatar is a fucking orangutan. No lie, it went from her pubes all the way to her breasts. And no, she was not born a man.

 

[MaddyLuxx]

Aww, country mouse! Hasn't everybody? Two wtfs of mine:

- the guy whose idea of foreplay was repeatedly slapping me in the face with his limp dick while hissing, "kiss it"

- the guy who insisted I taste the tingly, tangerine-flavored lube out of the bottle but then recapped it instead of using it for its intended purpose. We proceed to have super boring sex bc he is watching himself in the mirrored closet doors. He tells me mid-fuck that I am way better in bed than his fiancée (NO clue he was attached til that moment), and I remember wondering what I could do to be *less* enthusiastic, since I was already just lying there with lube-mouth, not moving or doing anything. He came, chugged a bottle of coconut water, and asked if I wanted to look at pictures of a bike he wanted to buy.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I haven't had "bad" so much as "kinda annoying":

A couple guys who insisted on kissing forEVER. I don't like kissing. I don't know what I'm doing and it feels weird and does nothing for me. Let's just fuck already, kay?

A couple guys who've apologized profusely for not being able to get/keep it up, even though they still fingered me/went down on me and got me off several times. I literally invited you over to get myself off with another person, that's been accomplished, why are you apologizing? (yes, I was straightforward about my intent)

And then there's the dude who, after making me squirt once, continued to do it over and over until I was laying in a puddle. Thanks, bro, this is awesome. I totally wanted to have to stack towels on my bed in order to avoid sleeping in the wet spot.

 

[DeezNA]

Generally speaking, for guys, there is no such thing as bad sex. Whatever happens, doesn't matter...had sex.

It's not because you're "a guy", any of those situations could be gender-reversed - gender has nothing to do with staying in an uncomfortable, awkward or unpleasant sexual encounter... it's because you stayed there and didn't say anything simply because you wanted to get laid. This is not gender exclusive by any means, it's a personal decision. I know it's the internet and we're all fucking around but I'm just suggesting we think about not blaming our personal situational decisions on gender; to take responsibility as humans instead of playing the "well that's just what guys do" card, because that card is just blatantly false and sexist. There is such a thing as bad sex (fuck, there's such a thing as bad masturbation), but it is by no means gender exclusive.

 

[Kelly Belle]

I think everyone has been with at least one person who didn't perform well. I remember when I was younger, I took a guys virginity and it never got any better, even after being with him a year.

 

[gonegirl2352]

As a bi-curious girl, I can vouch that there are girls who are bad in bed. They lay there like dead fish and expect you to do all the work. I ended up with quads like a speed skater because of all the thrusting with a strap-on...cuz that's how she liked it or so she said. Now I feel like a hypocrite.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I've actually never been with anyone who was bad in bed, only people that I just didn't have chemistry with which made the sex not particularly amazing but not bad either. Now I'm scared to go have more sex.

 

[TattooedMilfyMama]

Compatibility is a lot for me, if the ocean isnt moving the same direction, its gunna get messy (not in a good way...) But im pretty open and able to try and make it work.. but on the odd occasion it has happened.. Im not ashamed to say i ended it, like @DeezNA said, sex is like a conversation...

Are you going to stick with a boring conversation? Nope... me neither

 

[NextDoorNikki]

I've always had a pretty good radar on finding guys with big dicks just not always ones that knew what they were doing with them.
In my younger years it was a well known fact within my group of friends that if it wasn't good I was going to stop it immediately stop wasting time and finish myself off...
I've had amazing sex with guys that probably couldn't read at a 5th grade level... and I've had horrible sex with people I really connected with in every other way...
Unless its absolutely horrible I usually want to give it at least 2 tries (first time sex can be fun but they don't know what your "things" are yet)
on the other hand funny, embarrassing or really awkward sex is something I seem to be a big fan of...lol

 

[Nordling]

 

[TeganTate]

I have had a lot of sex and I would say more of it bad than good. Girls who didn't have any clue how to work a strap-on( not that I expect it but I have had girls want to do it and then cause me a lot of pain), People not wanting to use lube, not willing to try out kinks and fetishes, and generally selfish and only concerned with their pleasure. I think being a good partner comes down to being GGG (It stands for Good, Giving, and Game, and it means one should strive to be Good in bed, Giving "equal time and equal pleasure" to one's partner, and Game "for anything—within reason.) I'd recommend listening to Savagelovecast.

 

[AnimeAnnie]

I once had a boyfriend who would come so quickly that even with two condoms he couldn't last more than 30 seconds. (I'm not exaggerating!) I can understand that he may have had a medical condition (It's possible! I wasn't with him long enough to find out...and no, bad sex wasn't the reason for the breakup, only a contributing factor), but the problem that I had with it, was that he wasn't there for me in any other way. He'd get off, then roll over and suggest I play with myself! What a piece of work he was!

 

[RubyDimples]

I can honestly say I've never had a good partner in bed. At best it's good a few times, but never great. Perhaps my vagina is just hard to please

Some vaginas are just different and require more investigating. I tend to easily orgasm through oral and clitoral stimulation. Penetration is pleasurable but I have a hard time orgasmic with penetration. only a few exceptions if I get myself a certain angle or way I have had orgasms with DEEP penetration.

My partner knows how to please in various ways to keep me a sexually satisfied woman wanting more.

I've had plenty of shitty partners in bed before my main squeeze. I'd like to talk to the media about pushing imagery onto men that think being a jackhammer, or a flapping fish isgreat for a womans sexual pleasure.. Those guys were the worst. Or humping like a rabid dog in the throws of horny and being completely neglectful to foreplay. No matter your fetish or thing good sex is equated to communication and being open for improvement.

 

[Guy]

Some vaginas are just different and require more investigating. I tend to easily orgasm through oral and clitoral stimulation. Penetration is pleasurable but I have a hard time orgasmic with penetration. only a few exceptions if I get myself a certain angle or way I have had orgasms with DEEP penetration.

My partner knows how to please in various ways to keep me a sexually satisfied woman wanting more.

I've had plenty of shitty partners in bed before my main squeeze. I'd like to talk to the media about pushing imagery onto men that think being a jackhammer, or a flapping fish isgreat for a womans sexual pleasure.. Those guys were the worst. Or humping like a rabid dog in the throws of horny and being completely neglectful to foreplay. No matter your fetish or thing good sex is equated to communication and being open for improvement.

what does jackhammer and flapping fish mean?