Am i too Prudish / Is this right for me?

[Lex Sin]

There's a lot of things and boundaries I've been mentally working over the last few days in regards to myself and considering taking up camming , whilst i absolutely adore the idea of it , its not a primary source of income , i think for me its more the satisfaction of self in doing it / gratification of being desired but I'm having difficulty in addressing the traits or things i possess (potentially too closed mindedly) that make me desirable.

Essentially I'm a Pre Op M2F trans woman and to my understanding the primary desire from individual's like myself is anatomy i don't want out nor utilise on cam, I am however fine with my chest / being top half nude or down to my underwear on my bottom half (at which point things would be apparent). The thought of anal concerns me too because of the obvious of where it is, also someone not knowing I'm T and that being a session killer.

I read in another thread a good deal about setting your boundaries for what you want to do and or achieve before you venture in and not suddenly change your goals or things deemed acceptable.

I'm generally quite a flirty smiley friendly person , like i usually cant hide my facial expressions well at all lmao which is good as id be happy & I'm pretty good at erotic writing / typing/smiley whilst i do it, i also have a metric tonne of stripper heels which a friend pointed at some people have those as a kink.

I guess what I'm trying to work out or fathom is , is only really getting partially nude down to my knickers enough , should i not bother , or should i actually be setting myself my own boundaries and trying anyway.

Also like , generally how does it work on a ratio of talking to people vs typing, is typing the norm for us or?

I don't want to appear rude in asking what id expect are some really basic questions but I'm not exactly sure where else to ask.

I hope I'm just overthinking and being a bit daft.

A shy newbie - B

 

[dusty-of-nymph-dreams]

Hiya I'm a newbie too, to both the forums here and only three months into camming -- but I've learned a lot in this initial stretch.

As far as the forum is concerned, in reference to:

I hope I'm just overthinking and being a bit daft.

It seems initially you do need to "overthink" things like basic repercussions and also your boundaries. Check out this sticky thread:
https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/reality-check.1123/
-
Some opinions from my experience and research:
And as far as camming - while I'm tempted to recommend you try out sexting first given your boundaries and text flirtation skills -- I will suggest you practice saying no in the mirror (have fun!) or otherwise work with affirmations about your boundaries if this isn't something you have experience with from other parts of life.

Personally, I find it to be all too easy to do something outside of my comfort zone when I'm asked directly, as if the option has already been made -- so this has been a very conscientious experience thus far including also practicing boundary maintenance in my personal relationships.

You can expect people initially to be very nice and polite on one end of the spectrum and on the other end there are people just getting off on saying really hurtful things. Even folks who genuinely want an edgier sexual experience are able to be polite about it, and what you reinforce and demand is what you will get. You can't - just can't! - let the trolls get you down, and they will try to.

I have enjoyed and occasionally really struggled with trolls (mostly early on, you learn to recognize them before they can take advantage of your benefit of the doubt) while performing on Streamates which has its own issues, but it seems each platform has a different vibe of audience overall, and something desirable can be found in each.

Camming defensively can be a really strategy-oriented to balance with being sexy and friendly. Mental mantra phrases like "ban for sport" form the backbone of my responses a few months in, rather than purely giving that sweet hearted benefit of the doubt. Folks try to scam models too, very common. Lots of info on this site and the https://www.camgirlwiki.com/

Camming can be so fun! And a real learning opportunity, too

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Look into femdom. It might allow you to keep your boundries and find an audience. Staying clothed / panties on can be a pro for that kind of work.

If you do go that route certain cam sites are better than others for that. There's also clipsites which is a different experience from camming but might give you a little more control initially while you navigate. There also phone sex and sexting services.

Oh and re: typing vs talking: talking is typically better on cam. You can get by typing alone but ppl like to hear your voice.

 

[Lex Sin]

I actually read that first thread you mentioned, and that's what pushed me to hard think more, I'm in no rush to start like i its not like ~ i need to do this yesterday ~

Some opinions from my experience and research:
And as far as camming - while I'm tempted to recommend you try out sexting first given your boundaries and text flirtation skills -- I will suggest you practice saying no in the mirror (have fun!) or otherwise work with affirmations about your boundaries if this isn't something you have experience with from other parts of life.

Personally, I find it to be all too easy to do something outside of my comfort zone when I'm asked directly, as if the option has already been made -- so this has been a very conscientious experience thus far including also practicing boundary maintenance in my personal relationships.

You can expect people initially to be very nice and polite on one end of the spectrum and on the other end there are people just getting off on saying really hurtful things. Even folks who genuinely want an edgier sexual experience are able to be polite about it, and what you reinforce and demand is what you will get. You can't - just can't! - let the trolls get you down, and they will try to.

This though , about being outside comfort zones and just doing , i think that's how anal is at most, person pending, with how i felt about it at the time.

As for saying no in the mirror , I've been doing that a bit too and looking at my facial expressions.

I also wasn't aware sexting was a role either, so that's another thing to look into, thanks I think ill kinda enjoy the cheekiness of cam though

 

[AudriTwo]

i don't think you are being prudish. good on you for figuring out your boundaries. that shit is gold and will help with your emotional well-being.

there are lots of models out there who only go topless. hell, there are lots of models who are non-nude. there are lots of femdoms who dont get naked. check out the non-nude catagories on camsites. get an idea how those models work in their room. you do what makes you comfortable. don't let anyone try to influence you into changing them with their money.

I also wasn't aware sexting was a role either, so that's another thing to look into, thanks I think ill kinda enjoy the cheekiness of cam though

check out niteflirt. it's a popular PSO site.

 

[Lex Sin]

Honestly, thank you all so much, I was like, I don't want to play with X or do Y, which led me into thinking I should just not do it. Then the reality check / clarity on boundaries and making my own rules made me double take myself and had me laid awake in bed like if you really WANT to do it, shouldn't you be finding what's "you" even if its not what's /expectation/

I wish i could femdom, that'd be hella hard as I'm usually fairly submissive by nature , I'd be like a rabbit in headlights, you'd be watching the cogs tick and feeling my brain go errrrrr .

Though tbf when I'm feeling playful I could probably manage.

Your replies are honestly everything, thank you. I'll check out niteflirt too.

 

[Lex Sin]

i don't think you are being prudish. good on you for figuring out your boundaries. that shit is gold and will help with your emotional well-being.

there are lots of models out there who only go topless. hell, there are lots of models who are non-nude. there are lots of femdoms who dont get naked. check out the non-nude catagories on camsites. get an idea how those models work in their room. you do what makes you comfortable. don't let anyone try to influence you into changing them with their money.


check out niteflirt. it's a popular PSO site.

As an afterthought, since everything we are willing to do is obviously by choice, I assume its within your choice still if you /did/ feel comfortable outside your comfort zone to perform further for particular people ie: a regular you felt more at ease around / comfortable with or is that bad practise?

Also little silly things, because I have literally no clue, but how does it work when you end a private if you need to clean up / re dress / or if you need to run off to the loo or anything like that that could break your time being at the cam?

 

[AmberCutie]

I wish i could femdom, that'd be hella hard as I'm usually fairly submissive by nature , I'd be like a rabbit in headlights, you'd be watching the cogs tick and feeling my brain go errrrrr .

Though tbf when I'm feeling playful I could probably manage.

This sounds exactly like me, lol. Once in a while I'll be in a particular mood and will indulge submissive/paypig types in my chat, but 99.9% of the time I am TERRIBLE at trying to dominate a situation or speak in any dominant sort of way.

 

[dusty-of-nymph-dreams]

As an afterthought, since everything we are willing to do is obviously by choice, I assume its within your choice still if you /did/ feel comfortable outside your comfort zone to perform further for particular people ie: a regular you felt more at ease around / comfortable with or is that bad practise?

As in anything in life, just showing up on cam fully clothed can be an expression of "expanding" or pushing your boundaries. The main thing is to do what *feels right* for you. And to just not do anything you wouldn't want seen by others. Even in private, the internet is really a public place.

So I would say, as a fellow submissive/rope bunny -- of course it's fine to test your own boundaries with select people. Mainly the warnings about boundaries are about being ready to maintain YOUR agency in the face of the urgency of being desired and the money related power plays that can happen so quick with this.

how does it work when you end a private if you need to clean up / re dress / or if you need to run off to the loo or anything like that that could break your time being at the cam?

On Streamate there is a 30 second countdown after private/exclusive shows since there is a 'no below the belt nudity' in public chat rule. On other platforms, it seems that there are a variety of ways folks feel about how to handle post-private shows.

Depends on how demure you want to be (free getting dressed again show vs out of camera politely refreshing), but basically the algorithms encourage you to be live as long as possible - so don't log off while cleaning.

Based on what I've read here, on e.g. Chaturbate it's even best not to hit the away message in order to tickle the algorithm the way the algorithm currently likes to be tickled. Me thinks the algorithms will always love max time spent online, but there are percentages like how much is earned during online times that effect this (and personal earnings goals!).

I often leave a white board that says "potty" when I need to go to the loo, so folks who are waiting on me to get on or come back have some time to hang out in my room vs just wondering when I'm getting on and not being able to connect.

I could use some improvement in this behavior myself, frankly, as I have been logging out a lot -- but this is SM which functions a bit differently than the "token-based sites". But I'm a newbie too!

 

[GoddessKaeli]

It's YOUR show. You can operate it in any way you want and are comfortable with. Just state in your profile what you offer (you do NOT have to put everything you don't offer). They are free (and encouraged by support) to ask questions about your show before buying. It's not on you to spoon feed them if you don't offer something they are expecting. Feel it out and see what you're comfortable with and you can change things up at any point by adding it (or removing it) to/from your profile. When I started cam 9 years ago I was submissive...now I'm a total hardass mean bitch Domme who only goes topless (I'll take panties off if they're tipping a LOT during the show sometimes if I feel like it) lol. You'll figure it out as you go

 

[Lex Sin]

This sounds exactly like me, lol. Once in a while I'll be in a particular mood and will indulge submissive/paypig types in my chat, but 99.9% of the time I am TERRIBLE at trying to dominate a situation or speak in any dominant sort of way.

So much this, like, i cannot even stress it enough, I'm way cheeky enough for that.

I was teasing an internet friend earlier about saying they should come watch, like I was literally laid on the sofa wagging my knee side to side with the biggest grin ever at the thought, so I'm clearly good with it in my head of heads, I think I just needed some clarity from others my boundaries are OK to be exactly that /my boundaries/.

And I LOVE that whiteboard idea, my bladder is terrible so that is so a must, particularly if I get shy or nervous @dusty-of-nymph-dreams.

@AmberCutie
I actually need you too as I didn't set my birthday accurately for the same reason as name.

 

[Jenna K]

Essentially I'm a Pre Op M2F trans woman and to my understanding the primary desire from individual's like myself is anatomy i don't want out nor utilise on cam, I am however fine with my chest / being top half nude or down to my underwear on my bottom half (at which point things would be apparent). The thought of anal concerns me too because of the obvious of where it is, also someone not knowing I'm T and that being a session killer.

I'm not pre op or something, just a trans-tv model... I always have an androgynous body and voice (My voice helps a lot).

In my personal experience, I first afraid that someone would recognize me, I never show face in my shows and photos. So I don't have problem to show chest and lower parts of my body or do anal shows(only if I get tipped). In real life, I would never do what I do on cam in public, I'm so shy xD.


To get tips comes, I start thinking, what guys want to watch in a show? I watch a lot of other models, trans, girls and guys, and see what I can give to my viewers. Just need to figure out what you can offer and what you can not.

This sounds exactly like me, lol. Once in a while I'll be in a particular mood and will indulge submissive/paypig types in my chat, but 99.9% of the time I am TERRIBLE at trying to dominate a situation or speak in any dominant sort of way.

x2 lol

I'm more the summisive bottom girl than the top dominate one xD.

 

[Lex Sin]

@Jenna K i genuinely think I'm less bothered by people I actually know finding out I do cam than getting grief /pressured into things I don't want to perform tbh.

Ive never seen adult work as something bad ever, I used to pole dance as a hobby and tbh one day I'd love to be a stripper, but age isn't on side.

But I think where I'm less phased by that connection that's where what I perceived as prudish ness came in, but in reality IF it ever makes it to the light in front of friends and they dislike it, they know where the door is.

 

[dusty-of-nymph-dreams]

@Jenna K i genuinely think I'm less bothered by people I actually know finding out I do cam than getting grief /pressured into things I don't want to perform tbh.

Ive never seen adult work as something bad ever, I used to pole dance as a hobby and tbh one day I'd love to be a stripper, but age isn't on side.

But I think where I'm less phased by that connection that's where what I perceived as prudish ness came in, but in reality IF it ever makes it to the light in front of friends and they dislike it, they know where the door is.

This is meant to be supportive and not pressure, but it sounds like you're ready to try a stream!

The act of filling out your profile /FAQ ahead of time should solve the boundary awareness and give you something to refer to if you aren't sure in the moment -- like self-coaching. You can start toward prudishness end of the spectrum and practice holding your boundaries for that session -- even if you feel like you'd be comfortable doing more. Then do more next session!

I find that I set boundaries, like not wanting to use a dildo just to take a health break and thinking I won't, but then (in a particular session) I might get so turned on I just go for it. It is very interesting the 'high' of sexuality and being turned on, how it can "relax" your boundaries/increase your comfort.

It all comes back to self respect, I think -- having fun being your preferred version of sexy and also deciding what your numbers are that you want to play with (per the platform, over a given period of time). And in my case, that self respect means I also need to slow down and tease more, treat every part of me like it's precious to some extent. They don't see me naked as much as I do! Lol, so appreciate the novelty of YOU -- even for regulars -- and do what keeps your spirit up off cam/on cam and have fun/exploring/being curious in a sex positive manner -- while making money that you totally deserve to make!

Lol, hope that makes sense.

 

[Lex Sin]

This is meant to be supportive and not pressure, but it sounds like you're ready to try a stream!

The act of filling out your profile /FAQ ahead of time should solve the boundary awareness and give you something to refer to if you aren't sure in the moment -- like self-coaching. You can start toward prudishness end of the spectrum and practice holding your boundaries for that session -- even if you feel like you'd be comfortable doing more. Then do more next session!

I find that I set boundaries, like not wanting to use a dildo just to take a health break and thinking I won't, but then (in a particular session) I might get so turned on I just go for it. It is very interesting the 'high' of sexuality and being turned on, how it can "relax" your boundaries/increase your comfort.

It all comes back to self respect, I think -- having fun being your preferred version of sexy and also deciding what your numbers are that you want to play with (per the platform, over a given period of time). And in my case, that self respect means I also need to slow down and tease more, treat every part of me like it's precious to some extent. They don't see me naked as much as I do! Lol, so appreciate the novelty of YOU -- even for regulars -- and do what keeps your spirit up off cam/on cam and have fun/exploring/being curious in a sex positive manner -- while making money that you totally deserve to make!

Lol, hope that makes sense.

Ive had plenty reasons to be judged for my choices my whole life, so if I'm gonna be judged anyway I may as well play it to my advantage.

Id like to think I'm quite sexually aware and analytical too with my own needs and emotions since I've been into bdsm for quite a solid amount of time so I'm all too familiar with what I can do / am willing to do vs what I enjoy / like to do.

I totally took it as supportive, thanks I mean realistically, if it's not desired there's no rule saying I should relax my comfort to do it, I expect I should just stop.

I want to get together lighting / make a nice place to cam etc first before I just go for it.

I wasn't all too sure posting would gain traction since its probably all too asked questions but the reassurance to keep to your own wants and standards regardless of popularity means the world.

I imagine I'll resurface with a heap more questions about platforms / times between private / public and switching, how you even go private, etc as realistically I've a LOT to learn

 

[dusty-of-nymph-dreams]

Indeed, lots to learn! LOL

I'm sure you're having fun reading through the sticky posts in the forums here - while I'm looking SO much forward to being a verified model on ACF, there is still a ton of knowledge we can soak up from reading general/ask-a-model threads.

The conversations wind around and questions are asked mid thread that re-enliven the comments along new topics like the nuts and bolts, tips and tricks. Hope to see you around!

 

[Jenna K]

Ive never seen adult work as something bad ever

Me too, I'm proud what I done.

Before I start camming I'm not take care about my body or my health, now, I do exercise, eat healthy (I suffered anorexia and bulimia long time ago), I think be a webcam model changes my life.

But there are people who think different.

 

[Lex Sin]

Me too, I'm proud what I done.

Before I start camming I'm not take care about my body or my health, now, I do exercise, eat healthy (I suffered anorexia and bulimia long time ago), I think be a webcam model changes my life.

But there are people who think different.

This is so relatable, i have been quite neglecting of myself tbh , i do find myself going shy or nervous thinking about things but the more i think the more im like, if that's authentic me , then i should probably just be that me, i can only grow really.

Unless you've an open mind i guess, there's always going to be someone who doesn't get it , but these are the same people that think a pair of handcuffs are hardcore taboo , everything has its own place , sexual exploration leads to a lot of normalised experiences , some of which have people like OMG really? but to you its like, This vanilla ice cream is tasty.

From what I'm gathering , most of camming , realistically , is a space for people to explore / discuss / live out kinks or desires they haven't had the growth to experience in their reality or the contact with someone to do either.

 

[SMuser69]

Me too, I'm proud what I done.

Before I start camming I'm not take care about my body or my health, now, I do exercise, eat healthy (I suffered anorexia and bulimia long time ago), I think be a webcam model changes my life.

But there are people who think different.

Could you elaborate a little on this please? Are you saying that you wanted to exercise and eat healthier but didn't have enough personal incentive to do it yourself but once it felt more a personal requirement for work it was the incentive to start working on that?

Is it in your normal nature to have these sort of life goals but maybe low incentive to act on them till you linked them to a different requirement?

I used to go to a gym and had a bunch of activities pre-covid and now as things are returning to normal I'm having trouble giving myself the time to return to those activities since I now have new ones since lockdowns. I also considered volunteering or even taking a weekend job not because I need the money but as a way to force myself back to the exercise and healthy habits I once had. I wondered how many other people might think this way is all.

 

[Lex Sin]

Could you elaborate a little on this please? Are you saying that you wanted to exercise and eat healthier but didn't have enough personal incentive to do it yourself but once it felt more a personal requirement for work it was the incentive to start working on that?

Is it in your normal nature to have these sort of life goals but maybe low incentive to act on them till you linked them to a different requirement?

I used to go to a gym and had a bunch of activities pre-covid and now as things are returning to normal I'm having trouble giving myself the time to return to those activities since I now have new ones since lockdowns. I also considered volunteering or even taking a weekend job not because I need the money but as a way to force myself back to the exercise and healthy habits I once had. I wondered how many other people might think this way is all.

It would be that way for me, i imagine Jenna is much the same , how you let yourself be when only your eyes see you vs how you're happy being in front of others, can be 2 very different self set standards.

 

[Lex Sin]

I'm finding it mental what I'm fine with in person vs even just thinking "what if this was on cam rn" I keep wanting to just hide my face or feeling sooo awkward its painful , but its apparently adorable , I expect experience helps you sort of battle through or become less phased.

I'm looking at laptops and stuff ATM mind and getting super confused

Just being able to blow off my mind and ramble at people helps, so apologies if i seem a little spammy.

 

[Jenna K]

Could you elaborate a little on this please? Are you saying that you wanted to exercise and eat healthier but didn't have enough personal incentive to do it yourself but once it felt more a personal requirement for work it was the incentive to start working on that?

Yes...

Hope this meme, explains this a little more.

Is it in your normal nature to have these sort of life goals but maybe low incentive to act on them till you linked them to a different requirement?

I think yes, I need something that motivates to do some things. I don't earn a lot of tokens like other models, but the plus on this, is that I feel "pretty", secure about my body and healthy.

Yes I started this for money, like everyones does, but in the process I discovered a self love on me and my body.

It's Just not for looking pretty for others, my health is better than 4 years ago, I don't get sick too often, my health feels like never before

I used to go to a gym and had a bunch of activities pre-covid and now as things are returning to normal I'm having trouble giving myself the time to return to those activities since I now have new ones since lockdowns. I also considered volunteering or even taking a weekend job not because I need the money but as a way to force myself back to the exercise and healthy habits I once had. I wondered how many other people might think this way is all.

My life before covid was, wake up, doing exercise, take a bath, go to work, return, streaming a while some nights, take a bath, sleep.

When the quarantine started, I ended without work and earnings, so streaming was a lot of help, I started streaming more days and more hours.

I'm not the kind of social person, I'm so... how you say? "Reserved person" (sorry english is not my native language) covid not affected too much my activities, I never going to a gym before because I don't like to be too close of sweaty people (the truth is don't feel comfortable around people, that's a fact), so I bought gym weights and exercise equipment before covid and thats was no problem for me.