A Nice girl.

[jazzgeoff]

I work night shifts, and joined started my MFC membership as a little social outlet for myself when i get home to a cold dark house after work. I'm quite a detached person in my life, i like my friendships to be quite lighthearted. That was something i found appealed to me about spending time with camgirls, i get to meet and interact with an attractive girl from across the world. When I'm done i can turn off my computer and forget about them for another day or week, this might sound a bit callous but i was under the impression that this was a fairly mutual situation. i have built a few such "light" relationships with models, whom are happy to share my company and tips when i come to their rooms.

Recently, i wandered into a girls room, who was immediately very friendly to me. We chatted for a couple of hours, i enjoyed her company. Since then I have been PM'd by her on logging in several nights in a row, asking me to come spend time with her. i have come to realise that her room is always quiet, and that I am often the only person tipping. during this time I havn't been visiting my other friends or meeting new people, Which is why i enjoy using the site. I'm now starting to feel almost obligated to keep her company and to tip as much as i can (which i generally do). Last night I tipped what i consider to be a large amount of tokens, all i had left in fact, then after spending my usual couple of hours with her, told her i would not be around for at least a week. when she asked me why, i told her quite honestly that had not planned on buying more tokens this week so would not be logging on. she then tried to convince me to keep coming to see her even if i could not tip. I left telling her i would make an effort to briefly stop in sometime during the week just to say hi. (I'm not comfortable being on the site if can't tip anything at all).

I'm finding this friendship is starting to threaten the very thing i get out of spending time on MFC. but have to reinforce i do like this girl and enjoy spending time with her, just starting to feel a little to real for my taste.
There's no question here, I'm a big boy and aware of my options, just wondering about other people having similar experiences, or any thoughts any of the models might have on the subject...?

 

[Amberlie_]

Don't feel guilty about your actions. Shes a big girl and understands (or should) this is the nature of the beast. Just enjoy your time with her when you're there, tip when you can. There's no need to explain yourself when you're going to be away or have no tokens. I know it may sometimes feel like a real friendship but you have to remember she's actually there to earn money as well and that is her primary concern when you go away. She'll get more relaxed as she picks up more regulars I'm sure.

I'm on the opposite side to you in that I have a lovely guy who has been doing much the same thing. He's cleared my Countdowns and tips everytime I am on even though my room is ridiculously slow. He knows how embarrassing it is to me and I've assured him that he does not need to feel obligated to me at all. I appreciate his tips when he can afford them. I recognise that he's a nice guy who likes me and is willing to help support me. That doesn't change of he goes away or has no tokens... unless he hung out every shift for months on end without tipping haha!

 

[ComicOzzie]

I've been in this situation many times. If I find that I am stressing out because she keeps PMing me to be in her room, I unfriend her and move on. If that makes me an asshole, so be it.

 

[swagger]

As men and members, many of us have an innate desire to be rescuers, and whether intentionally or inadvertently some models tend towards that damsel in distress role. The key here is, it's your job to regulate your time and spending, not hers. Sometimes I can't afford to buy tokens, and sometimes I will hang out in a room without tipping (this is a room where I'm a decent token contributor when able), but I try to keep that as an absolute minimum. Sometimes on those nights I break out the credit card and spend because of my desire to contribute, not because the model doesn't understand my situation, but because I find it hard to be in a room and not be tipping, that's not her fault, that's mine. So try not to feel too guilty, but realize the impetus of control is on you.

 

[MFCGod]

Since then I have been PM'd by her on logging in several nights in a row, asking me to come spend time with her.

I don't like that

If you wanted to be in her room you wouldn't need to be prompted

It creates an awkward situation doesn't it, you can't really say "Hey, yeah I see you're online but id prefer to be in another models room", so you either have to ignore them and pretend you're away, lie you're busy or go there out of guilt.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I don't like that

If you wanted to be in her room you wouldn't need to be prompted

It creates an awkward situation doesn't it, you can't really say "Hey, yeah I see you're online but id prefer to be in another models room", so you either have to ignore them and pretend you're away, lie you're busy or go there out of guilt.

Some members love this shit but I'm with our father who art in heaven, it don't like it at all and never ever do it. I'd like to think it's part of why my room has such a healthy fun group of daily and occasional regulars because anyone who's there, wants to be.

 

[Lili_xo]

Is not rude to live your life the way you want and do with your time what you want.
There is a few similar topics like this on the forum or maybe one... I remember reading something similar and this is new topic.Guys freak out what to do when model they like pms them.They say"...i like her a lot but not now...she caught me online! etc (or in another models room)"

I prefer guys who can say NO to a woman- both on camsites and off camsites in real life.
On camsite It makes their yes to token gifts more exciting because I know they really want to and I also don't have to worry about them just leaving my room anytime various models contact them to visit them instead while they in my room.(more so because am not aggressive myself so will never chase after them and am no competition that way)
Off camsite I stay away from momas boys and guys whos sister or ex girlfriend does not like me for whatever reason. I don't have to worry about anything if the guy has strong personality.

I like guys who say no when they feel like it and say yes when they feel like it.

 

[MFCGod]

Some members love this shit but I'm with our father who art in heaven, it don't like it at all and never ever do it. I'd like to think it's part of why my room has such a healthy fun group of daily and occasional regulars because anyone who's there, wants to be.

Oh they want the attention of you asking?

I can remember being like that when I was younger

Grown out of that kind of thing thankfully, look back and cringe lol

 

[JoleneBrody]

Oh they want the attention of you asking?

I can remember being like that when I was younger

Grown out of that kind of thing thankfully, look back and cringe lol

Aye! I see it often that these are the same people that announce to the room that they are leaving because another model is asking for them, as if it's a trophy or something but it's actually just rude.
Everyone wants to feel special and wanted, some just go about it in this way.

 

[MFCGod]

Aye! I see it often that these are the same people that announce to the room that they are leaving because another model is asking for them, as if it's a trophy or something but it's actually just rude.
Everyone wants to feel special and wanted, some just go about it in this way.

I used to know a regular member, every time he would leave he would say "Hey, going to go now, probably wont be back for a while... maybe a couple of weeks.." just so that the model would go "oh no, really? how come? I will miss you"

Then oh hello, here he is, back the next day lol

I really don't like that stuff, I find it manipulative, making people feel bad just to give you attention

It's the same with the PM thing really (as you described it), if you don't go in a room on the hopes of a model feeling bad you aren't there and pm'ing you...

Great "friend" isn't it, hoping and actively encouraging you to feel bad just so they can have some reassurance :|.

 

[Lili_xo]

these are the same people that announce to the room that they are leaving because another model is asking for them

this info most likely ruins the mood of the room they are leaving - they can just go why announce the reason

 

[JoleneBrody]

this info most likely ruins the mood of the room they are leaving - they can just go why announce the reason

exactly

 

[MrSwoob]

I have had a few "Camgirl Friends" usually just chat, maybe tip. I am rarely a big tipper. But like I do not think we should never tip. It boils down to personal boundaries. You should be able to chat and hang out with whomever you want to. In the cam world there can be no real committments. Members and camgirls can get needy, just like the real world. Keep boundaries you are comfortable with. I have had a few that are too needy but some that are fun to be with and I have enjoyed a long cyber relationship with. Funny thing is the longer I know them the less i want to see them naked but just chat and enjoy their company.

 

[Applecup]

As a model I (try to) understand that people have their own lives, tastes, and abilities to give. I don't expect any of my watchers to tip unless they are asking or hoping for something, anything else is a bonus and sincerely appreciated. Your model friend may be worried she's losing a much appreciated regular, but clients (much like models) come and go Your open, honest approach with her is more than I've gotten from some regulars. It's a shame such a sweet model has some slow traffic, but it's not up to you to "save" her, as much as humans have that innate urge to help. She'll be glad if and when you come back.

 

[KristiRoxx]

I agree with what everyone else is saying. She might be playing the damsel in distress with you, which some guys are in to. For me, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should at least give it a break, or stop all together. Camming is supposed to be fun for Models and Members alike. Don't ever do something that makes you feel uncomfortable just because you feel obligated to.

 

[BooyaaS]

That's the problem with low viewer rooms a lot of the time you're going to be the only person tipping and the model is going to start relying on you for tokens. I used to have this problem but now I just hang around in some of the popular rooms and throw a small tip here and there and chill. Consider blocking your PMs too if you feel it's a burden to log on.

 

[shylurkerdude]

Aye! I see it often that these are the same people that announce to the room that they are leaving because another model is asking for them, as if it's a trophy or something but it's actually just rude.
Everyone wants to feel special and wanted, some just go about it in this way.

Very member should know cam room etiquette. I see this as being very rude and disrespectful to the the girl whose room the guy is leaving.

 

[jazzgeoff]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts,

As men and members, many of us have an innate desire to be rescuers, and whether intentionally or inadvertently some models tend towards that damsel in distress role. The key here is, it's your job to regulate your time and spending, not hers. Sometimes I can't afford to buy tokens, and sometimes I will hang out in a room without tipping (this is a room where I'm a decent token contributor when able), but I try to keep that as an absolute minimum. Sometimes on those nights I break out the credit card and spend because of my desire to contribute, not because the model doesn't understand my situation, but because I find it hard to be in a room and not be tipping, that's not her fault, that's mine. So try not to feel too guilty, but realize the impetus of control is on you.

I particularly appreciated swaggers post. Don't think i ever really saw myself as a rescuer, but if I'm having a hard time not helping the girl out then maybe i need to take a closer look at my own actions. And I think that the impetus of control is something i could probably take more responsibility for, cheers swagger. damn! who would have thought MFC would be so complicated and educational. Anyway going to follow through with my plan of not spending any time on MFC for the week, because i can't really afford to not because of 'nice girl'.
Just for the record this is the only model so far who has actually PM'd me asking to come to her room, all the other models I'm in contact with will just say hi, hows it going, That sort of thing, but have never put any pressure whatsoever on me to join their room.