I've read so many of the posts on this site about members in love with a model, almost all where it's obvious that the member is deluding himself. I something think these stories should be required reading before one is allowed to join a cam model site as a member. 
I have a story to tell, too. It might differ than most here...or then again, maybe others will see many of the usual red flags. It relates to my now 12-month journey with a particular model.
I find that many of the reactions to "I'm in love with a model/does she love me" posts tend to blame the member (normally a guy) for being gullible, or delusional. I think that makes sense when the model is just doing her job and maintaining professional ethics. But not all models do and in those cases, such reactions are then like "blaming the victim."
I had never been a member of the cam sites until about 18 months ago. I don't live under a rock; I vaguely knew about the sites but simply hadn't joined any. When I did, I liked them for purely entertainment purposes (as it should be). But as fate had it, I visited a particular Russian, non nude model on Chaturbate one night. She had only a few people in her room. She looked very serious, maybe even kind of depressed. I was drawn to her because it didn't fit the norm. Anyway, we began to chat and eventually we were doing private chats of 1-3 hours...no sexual behavior at all...literally talking about anything and everything.
I'll freely admit, I was in a point in my life where I was lonely (working in another city for an extended time) and I really enjoyed talking to this woman. She speaks minimal English but she is extremely smart and perceptive. And yes, her beauty played a role, too. It honestly go a bit out of hand, as I was eventually doing privates with her almost every night and spending a lot of money, essentially for pleasant conversations. While I could afford it, it was nonetheless kind of crazy when I looked back and did the math. But I think it became emotionally addictive - I would really look forward to signing on and finding her each evening.
Things took a turn around 3 months into this routine. She began to make comments of a romantic overtone and this gradually increased. I remember when Valentine's Day approached, she asked if we could do a session and she said, Basically I'm asking you on a date, at least it's the best we can do for now. As weeks continued to go by, I started to get messages from her offline and those turned into full blown love letters. I'm not talking about, "I miss you" or "I really like your company." I'm talking about three paragraph letters about how much I mean to her, including statements like how, I'm worried to say this but I see you as a man with whom I can have a future. And then there were statements about wanting to meet, fantasies of trips to various cities in Europe, statements of how, When I watch TV, I think about you being there and imagine how you would respond to certain things. I miss you madly when I don't get to see you.
For a little better sense of the flavor of her notes to me, here's a few lines from one of the numerous emails and text messages:
Note that I didn't ask for a "Girlfriend Experience." Yet someone advised me that this model is "just good at her job" and since I was still paying her, nothing she says could be taken as real. But I have to say....she was damn convincing! Eventually, we began talking outside the sites, via Skype. Then came a phase with precautions and paranoia because her studio monitors conversations.
Eventually, I was even sending her money to her own personal account. She even would talk to me from the studio, doing Skype calls, and I would make donations to her offsite account. This involved her making sure managers weren't around at the studio. Later, a lot of our talking would happen while she was at home. Sometimes we would talk before she went to bed, or just while doing household activities.
Instead of paying per minute, the provision of money turned from privates on sites to requests to help with particular expenses (her cat's vet bill; her own medical tests; even a gym membership and fees for driving lessons). She gave me her name and address. At one point, I told her I was skeptical about sending money to some account of a person I don't truly know, so she showed me her passport and other information. I was able to verify that indeed, this woman provided me accurate identifying information about herself. I even have her non-model social media. She says she's taken all these risks because she trusts me and believes that I'm her future.
I've had actual arguments with this model because I questioned her intentions. We had incidents where she was in tears over it, insisting that she is not lying or misleading but in fact has hopes for a relationship and wants to move out of Russia.
In this circumstance, I'll admit that I developed pretty strong feelings for this woman, though I always had (and still have) an underlying skepticism that's it ultimately about money. In this case I feel that this model is either: a) legitimately interested in something real (and that could be for genuine romantic reasons or for an "escape route" from her circumstances, or b) she's an extremely skilled, manipulative love scammer who will lead me on a trail of bread crumbs as long as she can.
We're still going, though I'm more perplexed each day about what to do. I think this experience goes to show that not all models are ethically doing their jobs and trying to maintain boundaries in the face of lonely, desperate, obsessive guys. I've received about 50 love letters from this woman; she is now trying to send me a painting; I have her real life name and address and all her real world social media. I'm a pretty successful guy and I didn't go to the cam sites to look for love...this model truly went after me. (Of course, I fully admit that I reciprocated with money and similarly sweet words).
But now I have this "relationship" with a Russian cam model who claims I'm not only her boyfriend but her "man" (because boyfriend sounds childish and transitory and man sounds more reliable and lasting). I'm still giving her money though, and as everyone says, doesn't giving money mean I'm still a client? Well, to her, giving her money means that I'm helping her with expenses the way a man would in marriage. She absolutely insists, You are not a member or client!
Still....I don't think you can really know someone long distance and there is still some secrecy. I find her claim that she is being "faithful" to me and telling others about her American boyfriend for the last 7 or 8 months is...well...unbelievable.
Maybe I'm being cynical, but part of me feels that all of this time, emotion and money has been sunk into something that is aimed only to extract as much money as possible, until there's some moment of revelation. (She could disappear off the sites; I could finally try to meet her overseas and find no one waiting; who knows....)
Or...maybe she just wants a green card? Or....could it be love???
It's not always the guy who is the instigator pushing the boundaries. I feel that this model has broken just about all the normal rules that most models on this site advocate.
What do others think?
And let's say it all turns out to have been one long romance con. Do I just let it go? It's going to be difficult to not view this woman as a sociopath with no moral compass if that's how it plays our.... I would hate for someone else to go through this if it's all just a scam.
I have a story to tell, too. It might differ than most here...or then again, maybe others will see many of the usual red flags. It relates to my now 12-month journey with a particular model.
I find that many of the reactions to "I'm in love with a model/does she love me" posts tend to blame the member (normally a guy) for being gullible, or delusional. I think that makes sense when the model is just doing her job and maintaining professional ethics. But not all models do and in those cases, such reactions are then like "blaming the victim."
I had never been a member of the cam sites until about 18 months ago. I don't live under a rock; I vaguely knew about the sites but simply hadn't joined any. When I did, I liked them for purely entertainment purposes (as it should be). But as fate had it, I visited a particular Russian, non nude model on Chaturbate one night. She had only a few people in her room. She looked very serious, maybe even kind of depressed. I was drawn to her because it didn't fit the norm. Anyway, we began to chat and eventually we were doing private chats of 1-3 hours...no sexual behavior at all...literally talking about anything and everything.
I'll freely admit, I was in a point in my life where I was lonely (working in another city for an extended time) and I really enjoyed talking to this woman. She speaks minimal English but she is extremely smart and perceptive. And yes, her beauty played a role, too. It honestly go a bit out of hand, as I was eventually doing privates with her almost every night and spending a lot of money, essentially for pleasant conversations. While I could afford it, it was nonetheless kind of crazy when I looked back and did the math. But I think it became emotionally addictive - I would really look forward to signing on and finding her each evening.
Things took a turn around 3 months into this routine. She began to make comments of a romantic overtone and this gradually increased. I remember when Valentine's Day approached, she asked if we could do a session and she said, Basically I'm asking you on a date, at least it's the best we can do for now. As weeks continued to go by, I started to get messages from her offline and those turned into full blown love letters. I'm not talking about, "I miss you" or "I really like your company." I'm talking about three paragraph letters about how much I mean to her, including statements like how, I'm worried to say this but I see you as a man with whom I can have a future. And then there were statements about wanting to meet, fantasies of trips to various cities in Europe, statements of how, When I watch TV, I think about you being there and imagine how you would respond to certain things. I miss you madly when I don't get to see you.
For a little better sense of the flavor of her notes to me, here's a few lines from one of the numerous emails and text messages:
Remember how many times I've told you that you are important to me as a person, a man ... with whom I want to build a future ...
Sometimes I get scared that you've recognized the real me...I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt again...I know that you won't do anything to harm me..But I'm still scared...because in many ways we are similar, even in spite of different countries and different mentality...I even cried about it yesterday
I don't ever want to lose you...not because we've gone too far...It's because I know how I feel about you... and these feelings are quite real....
I believe that you will see me in person soon..I miss you madly and it's strange...thoughts about our first date visit me more and more often...I don't have a boyfriend except a cat.
Note that I didn't ask for a "Girlfriend Experience." Yet someone advised me that this model is "just good at her job" and since I was still paying her, nothing she says could be taken as real. But I have to say....she was damn convincing! Eventually, we began talking outside the sites, via Skype. Then came a phase with precautions and paranoia because her studio monitors conversations.
Eventually, I was even sending her money to her own personal account. She even would talk to me from the studio, doing Skype calls, and I would make donations to her offsite account. This involved her making sure managers weren't around at the studio. Later, a lot of our talking would happen while she was at home. Sometimes we would talk before she went to bed, or just while doing household activities.
Instead of paying per minute, the provision of money turned from privates on sites to requests to help with particular expenses (her cat's vet bill; her own medical tests; even a gym membership and fees for driving lessons). She gave me her name and address. At one point, I told her I was skeptical about sending money to some account of a person I don't truly know, so she showed me her passport and other information. I was able to verify that indeed, this woman provided me accurate identifying information about herself. I even have her non-model social media. She says she's taken all these risks because she trusts me and believes that I'm her future.
I've had actual arguments with this model because I questioned her intentions. We had incidents where she was in tears over it, insisting that she is not lying or misleading but in fact has hopes for a relationship and wants to move out of Russia.
In this circumstance, I'll admit that I developed pretty strong feelings for this woman, though I always had (and still have) an underlying skepticism that's it ultimately about money. In this case I feel that this model is either: a) legitimately interested in something real (and that could be for genuine romantic reasons or for an "escape route" from her circumstances, or b) she's an extremely skilled, manipulative love scammer who will lead me on a trail of bread crumbs as long as she can.
We're still going, though I'm more perplexed each day about what to do. I think this experience goes to show that not all models are ethically doing their jobs and trying to maintain boundaries in the face of lonely, desperate, obsessive guys. I've received about 50 love letters from this woman; she is now trying to send me a painting; I have her real life name and address and all her real world social media. I'm a pretty successful guy and I didn't go to the cam sites to look for love...this model truly went after me. (Of course, I fully admit that I reciprocated with money and similarly sweet words).
But now I have this "relationship" with a Russian cam model who claims I'm not only her boyfriend but her "man" (because boyfriend sounds childish and transitory and man sounds more reliable and lasting). I'm still giving her money though, and as everyone says, doesn't giving money mean I'm still a client? Well, to her, giving her money means that I'm helping her with expenses the way a man would in marriage. She absolutely insists, You are not a member or client!
Still....I don't think you can really know someone long distance and there is still some secrecy. I find her claim that she is being "faithful" to me and telling others about her American boyfriend for the last 7 or 8 months is...well...unbelievable.
Maybe I'm being cynical, but part of me feels that all of this time, emotion and money has been sunk into something that is aimed only to extract as much money as possible, until there's some moment of revelation. (She could disappear off the sites; I could finally try to meet her overseas and find no one waiting; who knows....)
Or...maybe she just wants a green card? Or....could it be love???
It's not always the guy who is the instigator pushing the boundaries. I feel that this model has broken just about all the normal rules that most models on this site advocate.
What do others think?
And let's say it all turns out to have been one long romance con. Do I just let it go? It's going to be difficult to not view this woman as a sociopath with no moral compass if that's how it plays our.... I would hate for someone else to go through this if it's all just a scam.
