I apologize for this novel. I am seeking practical advice, so please bear with me.
I'm going to do this as a list:
So what am I after for responses?
I'm looking for insight into the following:
END NOTES:
I'm going to do this as a list:
* I've known her for approximately 3 years.
* I've been a regular of hers for just over 2 years.
* As with some other online model-friends, I have liked her since I first met her.
* I am 100% certain she considers me as a friend. (She has told me as much and has behaved as one. For privacy reasons I will not elaborate on this point.)
* I am far and away NOT one of her biggest spenders.
* My "crush" (for lack of a better term) began a couple months ago and I wrote it off as "just a phase." My feelings have only grown stronger, significantly so, since then.
* She is not doing anything to encourage these feelings. She's not leading me on.
* I am 99.99% certain she only views me as an online friend, prefers to keep it that way and would be very uncomfortable to know that I'm developing these feelings.
* I truly value her friendship and want to keep her in my life in some capacity.
* I want pragmatic advice on how to proceed.
* I want others to be polite in the discussion that will follow. In other words. NO TROLLING. NO NAME CALLING. NO RUDENESS. (This subject seems to inspire such things in other similar threads.)
So what am I after for responses?
I'm looking for insight into the following:
* I'm just puzzled as fuck as to WHY NOW? :? (Thoughts? Ideas? something more than "we're only human" ... please)
* How do I (or would you) handle this gracefully? (I mean without weirding her out, without putting myself through emotional purgatory, and without cutting the ties. This is a tall order; I know. "Just get over it." is what I've tried the past two months. It's not working.)
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* I've had plenty of model-crushes before. Usually it's a week of "OMG. She is so [list of adjectives goes here]!" Another week of "Wow, if only I could meet a woman like her in real life." Then a matter of "Yeah, she's cool. I like having her as a friend on this site."
* I've been manipulated/led on in the past. This bears none of the hallmarks of those experiences.
* If you believe you know the site and my real user name there, based on how I write: Don't bring this up with me there, unless you a) have practical advice and b) respect my privacy AND HERS (i.e. do not ask who she is, nor try to guess.)
* If you are her and you have figured out who I am. I apologize for asking this here. I'm just trying to figure this out.