Why is there a stigma attached to camming?

[Alex_M_21]

I recently told my friend about what I do and she did not seem to think much of it at all, in fact, she seemed a little grossed out by it.

Apart from people who are completely religious I cannot see why camming is looked on as bad or weird. I'm in college but have never been one for regular 9 -5 jobs, the idea of sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day taking orders from someone grosses me out way more than anything that could possibly ever be done on cam.

My friend will probably work 8 hours to make what I'd make in 2 on a bad day.

How am I the one making a weird choice? I'm not exaggerating when I say I can't see a single reason why someone would think camming is a bad idea.

You get to pick your own hours, you don't have to work when you don't feel like it, you literally get paid to be complimented every 2 minutes (don't try and say you don't like some of the compliments ) , you get paid extremely well, you can travel and still make money from anywhere in the world, getting paid to jerk off?

For where I am in my life right now it's a dream job and a godsend and I actually feel sorry for my friends who have regular hourly jobs, where they sit there spending most of their week, hating what they're doing. We only get one life so why would you want to spend 40 hours of it in a crappy job you hate!

So please tell me, why the stigma?

 

[Guy]

I recently told my friend about what I do and she did not seem to think much of it at all, in fact, she seemed a little grossed out by it.

Apart from people who are completely religious I cannot see why camming is looked on as bad or weird. I'm in college but have never been one for regular 9 -5 jobs, the idea of sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day taking orders from someone grosses me out way more than anything that could possibly ever be done on cam.

My friend will probably work 8 hours to make what I'd make in 2 on a bad day.

How am I the one making a weird choice? I'm not exaggerating when I say I can't see a single reason why someone would think camming is a bad idea.

You get to pick your own hours, you don't have to work when you don't feel like it, you literally get paid to be complimented every 2 minutes (don't try and say you don't like some of the compliments ) , you get paid extremely well, you can travel and still make money from anywhere in the world, getting paid to jerk off?

For where I am in my life right now it's a dream job and a godsend and I actually feel sorry for my friends who have regular hourly jobs, where they sit there spending most of their week, hating what they're doing. We only get one life so why would you want to spend 40 hours of it in a crappy job you hate!

So please tell me, why the stigma?

Are you in the US?

 

[alexa_voltage]

Because people are too influenced by societies hypocritcal bullshit. People dont think about the fact that they are here cuz 2 people had sex. (at least most people....science)

I think its silly honestly.

 

[Rubi]

There are some people who are not religious who are definitely weirded out by sex and the concept of showing yourself sexually to the world. Some might not have the confidence needed or just think it's gross.

I've had friends who were jealous because they always wanted to do sex work but never had the courage. So they lashed out at me for it.

 

[Guy]

Yeah. Its because of ours society's attitudes towards sex.
You still dont see boobs on basic TV or ad supported cable channels.

 

[Mintx]

I had a friend tell me that she would cam, but she was raised "with morals". The attitude that non-sex workers have about cam and sex work in general seems to always be this really weird mix of disgust, and hatred and refusal to self reflect. There's so much "I'd never date a porn star", but they still watch porn. They won't tip a cam model, but they will follow them on twitter and stalk their rooms almost religiously.

It's so flipping weird. What really makes me kinda laugh is when they do the whole "omg what's the grossest thing you've done for money" Like, I don't do anything I see as gross because I get to set my rules and boundaries and rates.

I think the stigma comes from the independence sex work gives, and the embracing of sexuality that most people see as being needed to be kept in the dark. Or, the fun part, of doing things that should be given for free in someone's mind.

 

[OldHippy]

Personally I tend to judge someone negatively if they tell me they are an accountant or a lawyer. Seriously a lot of these guys in my opinion are moraly deprived...

My point is everyone is going to be judgemental to some degree, just accept that fact and get on with your life. Some people are going to accept you for who you are, others won't so why worry about it.

 

[curvyredhead]

I had a friend tell me that she would cam, but she was raised "with morals".

ew

 

[Alex_M_21]

People dont think about the fact that they are here cuz 2 people had sex. (at least most people....s

That's a great point actually! I never thought of it like that haha

 

[Alex_M_21]

Are you in the US?

Nope in Ireland. I'd say reland is probably a little more open minded than the states.

 

[Luckyfoxxy]

Nope in Ireland. I'd say reland is probably a little more open minded than the states.

The place for Protestant-Catholic war parties is more open-minded than States?

I had a friend tell me that she would cam, but she was raised "with morals". The attitude that non-sex workers have about cam and sex work in general seems to always be this really weird mix of disgust, and hatred and refusal to self reflect. There's so much "I'd never date a porn star", but they still watch porn. They won't tip a cam model, but they will follow them on twitter and stalk their rooms almost religiously.

It's so flipping weird. What really makes me kinda laugh is when they do the whole "omg what's the grossest thing you've done for money" Like, I don't do anything I see as gross because I get to set my rules and boundaries and rates.

I think the stigma comes from the independence sex work gives, and the embracing of sexuality that most people see as being needed to be kept in the dark. Or, the fun part, of doing things that should be given for free in someone's mind.

Awful nice friend to have :/
But I can understand not wanting to date a porn star. People can get quite possive in relationships and seeing your gf/bf getting fucked on every porn site you visit might make the most serene, unjealous person pop a vein. It's not necesserily disgust or judgement, just plain old "I don't want anyone to sleep with my gf and sure as hell don't want to stumble upon it".

 

[Alex_M_21]

The place for Protestant-Catholic war parties is more open-minded than States?

I think you may be getting history and current events mixed up a little. What you're referring to started in 1968 and ended on 1998, through the good Friday agreement, although "the troubles" had pretty much settled almost a decade prior to that. Also, that was in Northern Ireland which is technically part of the UK, I live in the Republic of Ireland.

Most churches in Ireland will now marry gay couples and people have a very open minded attitude. Irish people like to party.

Awful nice friend to have :/
But I can understand not wanting to date a porn star. People can get quite possive in relationships and seeing your gf/bf getting fucked on every porn site you visit might make the most serene, unjealous person pop a vein. It's not necesserily disgust or judgement, just plain old "I don't want anyone to sleep with my gf and sure as hell don't want to stumble upon it".

She's honest anyway, which is important in a friendship I guess, I'd much prefer someone who says their feelings. I would never do porn, there's a strong difference between being a solo cammer and a porn star, the main one being is I don't sleep with people on cam (for now).

 

[Luckyfoxxy]

I think you may be getting history and current events mixed up a little. What you're referring to started in 1968 and ended on 1998, through the good Friday agreement, although "the troubles" had pretty much settled almost a decade prior to that. Also, that was in Northern Ireland which is technically part of the UK, I live in the Republic of Ireland.

Most churches in Ireland will now marry gay couples and people have a very open minded attitude. Irish people like to party..

I just find it strange that a place with so many faithful catholics and protestants would be more progressive than The Land of Freedom.

She's honest anyway, which is important in a friendship I guess, I'd much prefer someone who says their feelings. I would never do porn, there's a strong difference between being a solo cammer and a porn star, the main one being is I don't sleep with people on cam (for now)

Yes, and if you'll decide to do so, you can choose who you appear on cam with. Now I don't know how that works with pornstars - if the producers decide who's fucking who, like in any other movie. I'm sure actresses who made it to the top have a say in it.

 

[Alex_M_21]

I just find it strange that a place with so many faithful catholics and protestants would be more progressive than The Land of Freedom

Are you from the states?

I would argue that the Irish and Europeans, in general, have a lot more freedom than people in the States.

That's just my opinion though.

 

[MFCGod]

I will approach this from a male camming perspective

I don't know your situation, but as a straight man If I was found out to be camming by my friends/family I think they would (wrongly) assume that must mean I was gay

I think that would upset them if they thought I was gay, not because of being gay itself, but because they would think my life was a lie and I had kept it from them

I think there would probably be less stigma if an openly gay man was found out to be camming,

 

[AwesomeKate]

Since we are talking about sexual shame...
I don't know how to make peace with two seemingly connected realities:

1. Sexual shame exists and is bad.
2. Sex workers financially benefit from sexual shame.

I don't want sexual shame to exist, but in the same breath, I want to continue earning a substantial living by selling my sexuality. Compared to others, as OP has pointed out, we usually work less hours than others do while still making enough to survive. If sex were not shamed, I can imagine several different situations that might arise. You can speculate that sex might not be a valuable commodity anymore or that the market would be flooded with people willing to sell (Since there would be no societal pressure not to). Moving sexuality into the open would change a lot about the sex work industry. People might not get such a kick out of seeing breasts in porn if they can see them at the local public park. People might not get off so hard to the image of a girl masturbating in her bedroom if the 'naughty' aspect of it is torn away.

Sometimes I get the impression that receiving judgment from mainstream society is the price we pay for having profitable careers. I am able to cam and earn a living because not EVERY girl is willing to take the hit to her reputation. If all 3.5 billion women on Earth sold their sex appeal online, I don't think I'd have a chance in hell of paying my bills anymore. I am not an extremely special specimen. In the greater scheme of things, I am just an average person with average talents. In our society, however, I am a sexually liberated siren who stands out against the backdrop of frigid shrews. A beacon of slutty hope floating in a sea of blue balls.

 

[MFCGod]

Since we are talking about sexual shame...
I don't know how to make peace with two seemingly connected realities:

1. Sexual shame exists and is bad.
2. Sex workers financially benefit from sexual shame.

I don't want sexual shame to exist, but in the same breath, I want to continue earning a substantial living by selling my sexuality. Compared to others, as OP has pointed out, we usually work less hours than others do while still making enough to survive. If sex were not shamed, I can imagine several different situations that might arise. You can speculate that sex might not be a valuable commodity anymore or that the market would be flooded with people willing to sell (Since there would be no societal pressure not to). Moving sexuality into the open would change a lot about the sex work industry. People might not get such a kick out of seeing breasts in porn if they can see them at the local public park. People might not get off so hard to the image of a girl masturbating in her bedroom if the 'naughty' aspect of it is torn away.

Sometimes I get the impression that receiving judgment from mainstream society is the price we pay for having profitable careers. I am able to cam and earn a living because not EVERY girl is willing to take the hit to her reputation. If all 3.5 billion women on Earth sold their sex appeal online, I don't think I'd have a chance in hell of paying my bills anymore. I am not an extremely special specimen. In the greater scheme of things, I am just an average person with average talents. In our society, however, I am a sexually liberated siren who stands out against the backdrop of frigid shrews. A beacon of slutty hope floating in a sea of blue balls.

I love this post and I think you're spot on with everything

Shame is a double edged sword

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Since we are talking about sexual shame...
I don't know how to make peace with two seemingly connected realities:

1. Sexual shame exists and is bad.
2. Sex workers financially benefit from sexual shame.

I don't want sexual shame to exist, but in the same breath, I want to continue earning a substantial living by selling my sexuality. Compared to others, as OP has pointed out, we usually work less hours than others do while still making enough to survive. If sex were not shamed, I can imagine several different situations that might arise. You can speculate that sex might not be a valuable commodity anymore or that the market would be flooded with people willing to sell (Since there would be no societal pressure not to). Moving sexuality into the open would change a lot about the sex work industry. People might not get such a kick out of seeing breasts in porn if they can see them at the local public park. People might not get off so hard to the image of a girl masturbating in her bedroom if the 'naughty' aspect of it is torn away.

Sometimes I get the impression that receiving judgment from mainstream society is the price we pay for having profitable careers. I am able to cam and earn a living because not EVERY girl is willing to take the hit to her reputation. If all 3.5 billion women on Earth sold their sex appeal online, I don't think I'd have a chance in hell of paying my bills anymore. I am not an extremely special specimen. In the greater scheme of things, I am just an average person with average talents. In our society, however, I am a sexually liberated siren who stands out against the backdrop of frigid shrews. A beacon of slutty hope floating in a sea of blue balls.

Could it actually to some extent be that the reason for it profiting so much from the shame side is because of people trying to learn about why they feel their own sexual shame though?

Now stay with me on this. Humans tend to feel shame over others seeing them in a bad light whether they are in fact at fault, or they're misunderstood as doing a wrong they didn't actually commit.

If there is a popular commercial that goes on for months, you may think the item is dumb at first, but wind up buying it convinced there may be something to it since it's mentioned all the time! The same psychology applies to somewhere like the bible belt. (ex. If the church is constantly telling me kink is bad, and I'm terrible for selling sex for money I must be bad. Hard to argue when you grow up bombarded by that)

We as humans want to understand why we are the way we are, but often want to take things into our own hands. Problem is camming is a lot like wedmd a lot of the time. You may figure out why your kink is perfectly sane, safe, and consensual or you might misjudge and feel worse if you read into it wrong. A lot of folks may feel shame that they spent so much, and it still haven't solved all of their lives problems. Really if anyone kink shames anyone it's likely they feel they can't express themselves as who they truly are without feeling shame. It's sad, and I hope we'll all one day grow from it.

Either way I think any model who feels shame from taking money from members should know that the fact that they feel that means they aren't as evil as the members blaming them. I've even had tons of members who went from having humiliation fetishes to find that they weren't even really into being humiliated as much as they simply wanted honesty about something.

 

[Alex_M_21]

Since we are talking about sexual shame...
I don't know how to make peace with two seemingly connected realities:

1. Sexual shame exists and is bad.
2. Sex workers financially benefit from sexual shame.

I don't want sexual shame to exist, but in the same breath, I want to continue earning a substantial living by selling my sexuality. Compared to others, as OP has pointed out, we usually work less hours than others do while still making enough to survive. If sex were not shamed, I can imagine several different situations that might arise. You can speculate that sex might not be a valuable commodity anymore or that the market would be flooded with people willing to sell (Since there would be no societal pressure not to). Moving sexuality into the open would change a lot about the sex work industry. People might not get such a kick out of seeing breasts in porn if they can see them at the local public park. People might not get off so hard to the image of a girl masturbating in her bedroom if the 'naughty' aspect of it is torn away.

Sometimes I get the impression that receiving judgment from mainstream society is the price we pay for having profitable careers. I am able to cam and earn a living because not EVERY girl is willing to take the hit to her reputation. If all 3.5 billion women on Earth sold their sex appeal online, I don't think I'd have a chance in hell of paying my bills anymore. I am not an extremely special specimen. In the greater scheme of things, I am just an average person with average talents. In our society, however, I am a sexually liberated siren who stands out against the backdrop of frigid shrews. A beacon of slutty hope floating in a sea of blue balls.

This is very true actually and not a point of view I've considered before. Basic supply and demand really.

 

[Ambers Troll]

The assumption that those who pay for sexual fantasy are juvenile, damaged in some way, or disabled. Therefore the fantasy maker is exploiting, enabling, and corrupting the weak.
This seems to main source of more modern sex worker stigma. This places the sex worker, somewhere between drug dealer and con artist. Those who buy the service are just ill, deformed/ deviant, or innocent.

As a 'user' I kind of enjoy the stigma attached it is more liberating than restrictive: but am happy to help displace the stigma where I can on behalf of the providers of fantasy.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

The assumption that those who pay for sexual fantasy are juvenile, damaged in some way, or disabled. Therefore the fantasy maker is exploiting, enabling, and corrupting the weak.
This seems to main source of more modern sex worker stigma. This places the sex worker, somewhere between drug dealer and con artist. Those who buy the service are just ill, deformed/ deviant, or innocent.

As a 'user' I kind of enjoy the stigma attached it is more liberating than restrictive: but am happy to help displace the stigma where I can on behalf of the providers of fantasy.

But once again perspective. I don't think they're damaged aside from perhaps maybe if at all feeling shame (I'm saying this on models and members ends). I don't dabble in kinks I don't understand. The reasoning behind is so that if the member feels weird I can at least calm him down about it (I get a lot of guys who start off paid chat with apologizing needlessly for their fetishes), because that is another factor that often makes stigma too. As you said you like the liberating aspect of it. I think people (though they don't often seem to realize it) tend to enjoy things like taboo in order to understand themselves and learn. We've all been there feeling like the out one out, and it's a great feeling to get to feel in control in something we can't often feel comfortable talking about in public.

I know many believe that taboo is what makes sex sell, but frankly I think people becoming more comfortable with what they're into is what allows them to relax enough to do something like open an account on a camsite without fear of repercussion. If taboo truly is what sold sex, there'd be a LOT more countries able to buy it legally. If a model says she does taboo stuff, a member may feel more comfortable with her because she'll be less likely to judge.

Honestly most if not all of the "damage" is only anxiety and possibly bad memories of being shamed for what they were into. I've known members who were too ashamed to anonymously discuss their kinks, that no matter how nice I was to them, I'd find them later on saying they took a few months break from sites because another model had shamed them for it.

Fact is people don't like missing out at life, and shame/stigma is what often makes for regret.

 

[SMuser69]

I recently told my friend about what I do and she did not seem to think much of it at all, in fact, she seemed a little grossed out by it.

Apart from people who are completely religious I cannot see why camming is looked on as bad or weird. I'm in college but have never been one for regular 9 -5 jobs, the idea of sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day taking orders from someone grosses me out way more than anything that could possibly ever be done on cam.

My friend will probably work 8 hours to make what I'd make in 2 on a bad day.

How am I the one making a weird choice? I'm not exaggerating when I say I can't see a single reason why someone would think camming is a bad idea.

You get to pick your own hours, you don't have to work when you don't feel like it, you literally get paid to be complimented every 2 minutes (don't try and say you don't like some of the compliments ) , you get paid extremely well, you can travel and still make money from anywhere in the world, getting paid to jerk off?

For where I am in my life right now it's a dream job and a godsend and I actually feel sorry for my friends who have regular hourly jobs, where they sit there spending most of their week, hating what they're doing. We only get one life so why would you want to spend 40 hours of it in a crappy job you hate!

So please tell me, why the stigma?

The Stigma isn't just about camming it's about sex working in general that includes camming, prostitution, stripping anything were you are trading sexuality for money.

Your "dream job" wouldn't exist without that stigma. It's only because the stigma is there no little competition that any money can come from it in the first palace. Remember 100% of the human population is able to perform sexual acts. You're competing with major 10k other people on a single day because of the stigma. Without it you would be competing with 6 BILLION people daily.

The Stigma exist because sex work comes into contradiction with social pairing and so has the potential to affect the birth rate. This site has many thread examples of how being a sex worker causes many issues on the relationship level. How having a child is disruptive to sex work. Countries NEED babies and more so need those babies in successful families so not to become burdens of the state. You run out of citizens and you don't have a country anymore.

The Stigma goes back to ancient times where viruses and diseases where not know yet. They just knew the prostitutes would sometimes get sick and everyone that went to them also got sick. They didn't have an understanding of STD or poor hygiene breeding sickness. This still hasn't changed in thousands of years. All through the 80's and 90's AIDS was gay people's disease. Herpes, Hepatitis still have strong associations to sex work.

The Stigma promotes feminism. Mainstream monetizing of sex turns even woman that aren't sex workers into products. Right now a person CHOOSES to be a sex worker. People don't offer sex for money on the street not only because it's illegal but it's a society taboo. If you remove that stigma you are permitting a normal assumption that anyone's body can be for sale. The first casualties of that would be women.

The opposite of the stigma is legalizing prostitution and making it a common society normal behavior.

 

[Alex_M_21]

The assumption that those who pay for sexual fantasy are juvenile, damaged in some way, or disabled. Therefore the fantasy maker is exploiting, enabling, and corrupting the weak.
This seems to main source of more modern sex worker stigma. This places the sex worker, somewhere between drug dealer and con artist. Those who buy the service are just ill, deformed/ deviant, or innocent.

As a 'user' I kind of enjoy the stigma attached it is more liberating than restrictive: but am happy to help displace the stigma where I can on behalf of the providers of fantasy.

I have never heard of that point of view before. Generally I think people think the opposite.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I have never heard of that point of view before. Generally I think people think the opposite.

I've read the viewpoint before from others and basically translated it as they felt more at home with others who accepted what they were into.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I have never heard of that point of view before. Generally I think people think the opposite.

That weak and innocent women are corrupted into being sex workers? That those chasing the fantasy are exploiting these innocents by using their money and power?
Look beyond this and the client is still the deviant one who needs help. In this case the fantasy industry is the one exploiting both client and victim sex worker... same stigma with a little sexist twist. For western cam models they will tend to be seen as part of the industry, not as a victim to the industry.

It is quite silly, but most of the stigma seems to come from the corrupting of innocents, or the encouragement of some form of sexual perversion. The targets can be either sex industry or client as initiator.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

That weak and innocent women are corrupted into being sex workers? That those chasing the fantasy are exploiting these innocents by using their money and power?
Look beyond this and the client is still the deviant one who needs help. In this case the fantasy industry is the one exploiting both client and victim sex worker... same stigma with a little sexist twist. For western cam models they will tend to be seen as part of the industry, not as a victim to the industry.

So curious do you yourself believe that they are actually innocent victim women being corrupted into becoming sex workers and members are exploiting them or if you're saying society tends to think this way? Not meaning anything against what you said, simply trying to clearly understand which you meant.

 

[BobbyB]

Just a couple of thoughts....

Lets take MFC, the model makes 50 tokens a minute , the member pays 50 tokens a minute....who is the victim here......

You work as a butcher, will likely causing issues when dealing with vegetarians...
You work as a soldier, will likely causing issues when dealing with peace loving tree huggers...
You work for an investment bank........

Just want to say whatever you do there are likely some people having an issue with your job....

Finally with sex work, what would you think if your parents or your children decide to work in this area ?

 

[Ambers Troll]

So curious do you yourself believe that they are actually innocent victim women being corrupted into becoming sex workers and members are exploiting them or if you're saying society tends to think this way? Not meaning anything against what you said, simply trying to clearly understand which you meant.

Society view.

The assumption that those who pay for sexual fantasy are juvenile, damaged in some way, or disabled. Therefore the fantasy maker is exploiting, enabling, and corrupting the weak.

In the earlier post I stated fantasy maker, not sex worker, because sometimes the sex worker is seen as another victim of their industry.
This is my view of why the society stigma exists.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

In the greater scheme of things, I am just an average person with average talents. In our society, however, I am a sexually liberated siren who stands out against the backdrop of frigid shrews. A beacon of slutty hope floating in a sea of blue balls.

That was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Just a couple of thoughts....

Lets take MFC, the model makes 50 tokens a minute , the member pays 50 tokens a minute....who is the victim here......

You work as a butcher, will likely causing issues when dealing with vegetarians...
You work as a soldier, will likely causing issues when dealing with peace loving tree huggers...
You work for an investment bank........

Just want to say whatever you do there are likely some people having an issue with your job....

Finally with sex work, what would you think if your parents or your children decide to work in this area ?

You're right in a sense, but let's not pretend sex work is 100% safe either. Stalkers exist with any form of it. I think the safety angle is another good reason many oppose it (and that's without bringing up issues like sex trafficking).