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thoughts and feelings on being called a whore

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StacySweet

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Nov 25, 2013
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I'm just curious what are your thoughts and feelings on being called a whore or a slut or the like? Do you find it offensive and degrading? Do you even care? Or are you a sick pup like me who enjoys and actually gets off from it?!
 
Depends completely on the context.

If I'm engaging in sexual activity and my partner calls me a whore I like it. But random guys? No. Pretty much the only person who can get away with that is someone I am close with that I've given permission to call me that. Or my dummy, but that relationship is complicated. And I guess I would qualify as someone I'm close with who has given myself permission. :shifty:

Or if it's a friend and they're joking.

I'm always ok with being called a camwhore because that's what I call myself. But I know lots of girls take offense to it.
 
Like Veronica said, depends on the context.

In bed with a partner, it can be fun.

In relation to working (and especially to camming), I am not okay with it at all. It's a violent term in my experience that's used against full-service sex workers so for myself I would not use it.
 
This has always been a weird thing for me too. I hear many models refer to themselves as camwhores and it's still a bit shocking to me after all this time. I was raised to never speak to women like that. Every time I see some member typing that word I can picture my momma slapping the silly off me if I did that.
 
Once upon a time, when I was new to camming, I called myself a camwhore and a camslut. I thought they were fun little names (especially since my cam sisters were doing the same) but as time has gone by my opinion has changed on those terms. Society already looks down on us and IMHO it's important for us to break the stereotypes that they've created. By calling ourselves whores, we're only feeding into this popular stereotype - that we're only out for money and will do anything to get it. There is so much more to cam models! Most do not realize that a large portion of the women in this industry are entrepreneurs who have a large skill set (entertainers, lighters, musicians, photographers, managers, comedians, the list goes on and on). Using a word that most deem degrading keeps people from seeing the truth - that we're more than money hungry women looking to use unsuspecting men. So, I refrain from calling myself a whore. I reject the idea that I am selling my body to any Joe Schmoe on the Internet. I am offering my time, my companionship, my personality, my creativity, my knowledge to those who are interested and are respectful.

In a nutshell, many models will disagree, but I am not going to adhere to society's stereotype and belittle myself by slapping a label on my forehead that says WHORE - SLUT - TRAMP - HARLOT - HUSSY. If we continue to call ourselves these terms, other people won't feel bad treating us as such. I am much more than the labels above and if people take a moment to get to know me, they will see it.
 
Maybe it's because nearly all of my friends, associates, and lovers are self employed artists of sorts, but I find writers calling themselves whores for their books, artists referring to themselves as whores for their art, etc. The way I've looked at it is calling themselves whores is a way to say "HEY. I know this is an unconventional lifestyle but I should still get paid for what I do." Hence where "whore" comes in. It's not enough to be good at something; you have to be a whore for it as well in order to make a living.

So when I say I'm a camwhore, I don't mean that I simply sell my body on cam. It means I'm whoring out whatever cam experiences I can muster up. Because I am.

It's not unusual for a group of people to "take back" a word. It's debated of course in other circumstances. But I've said it before and I'll say it again; I don't think for a second that me calling myself a camwhore is detrimental to our cause. I actually find other camgirls claiming that a word is hurting us is detrimental because it shifts the blame on the worker instead of the misogynists who would hate us even if we called ourselves cam unicorns.
 
I've heard it so many times in the "friend" context it doesn't really phase me. Words can only have the power you give them. I think when you choose to get offended by something your giving it more power than it deserves. I think allowing yourself to be offended by it makes the words have more power than they deserve.

And like, you ever hang out with people from Ireland or the UK? They drop cunt bombs like it's nothing. To them it's probably the same as using the word "shit" which in america seems like a less offensive curse word for whatever reason.
The first time I heard from someone I was working with I was a little taken aback. But then they're so cute about it with their accents! Plus they use it as an adjective for like everything.

That's not an itchy annoying sweater, that sweater's "cuntish" :lol:

I dunno to me it's the same kinda thing. Slutty whore words don't really bother me when trying to be used offensively. They have the kind of opposite effect to me and usually make the person using it in anger just sound dumber in my opinion. And come on, I can get a lot more creative with my insults when needed. They're just words afterall.

Sticks. stones. Blah blah. etc. etc.
 
VeronicaChaos said:
Maybe it's because nearly all of my friends, associates, and lovers are self employed artists of sorts, but I find writers calling themselves whores for their books, artists referring to themselves as whores for their art, etc. The way I've looked at it is calling themselves whores is a way to say "HEY. I know this is an unconventional lifestyle but I should still get paid for what I do." Hence where "whore" comes in. It's not enough to be good at something; you have to be a whore for it as well in order to make a living.

So when I say I'm a camwhore, I don't mean that I simply sell my body on cam. It means I'm whoring out whatever cam experiences I can muster up. Because I am.

It's not unusual for a group of people to "take back" a word. It's debated of course in other circumstances. But I've said it before and I'll say it again; I don't think for a second that me calling myself a camwhore is detrimental to our cause. I actually find other camgirls claiming that a word is hurting us is detrimental because it shifts the blame on the worker instead of the misogynists who would hate us even if we called ourselves cam unicorns.

I think it's one thing when camgirls or adult industry folks do it (that I still don't really agree with, but that's just my take on it), but I absolutely HATE when artists/temps/whoever that isn't in the industry calls themselves a whore. It's not their word to reclaim and I think it's so enraging that a word that's used against a specific group is getting taken by others to mean unconventional or whatever it is. I hear it a lot from office workers, actually, the whole ~we're all just whores for the man~ or ~prostituting ourselves to the corporation~ and I think it's so obnoxious.
 
Just a random thought -

Those outside of the sex industry calling themselves whores gets a humorous reaction from the listener since they obviously do not exchange sex for money
VS
Those inside of the sex industry calling themselves whores is taken seriously and might make the listener think that we have no respect for ourselves thus reinforcing that they do not need to have respect for us

We cannot ignore that there will always be self righteous people who look down upon us (many minds cannot be changed and that's okay) but we also have the chance to show the newest generations that they should respect women, even those of us who entertain them in the sex industry. Sure, they're just words but language makes an impact and IMHO we can make a positive impact by using less degrading terms for ourselves. WHORE is one of the most derogatory words in the English language and we are so much more than that (as are many call girls).

“Reality is irrelevant; Perception is everything.” How do most perceive the word "whore"?
 
I'm not a fan of derogatory terms. I know a lot of girls try to "own" the term, but it doesnt make it anyless derogatory. I feel the same way about the "N" word..... it is a derogatory term that no one should want to use. But there are people that would disagree with me on that as well.... African Americans that decide to use the term as a sign of comradery with their brethren. And that is their right even though I wish everyone would quit using it, since it just brings up the divide between skin shades. I feel the same with terms like cam whore and slut. By trying to "own" it, it just brings up the divide between us and society. I would also say that if you call yourself those terms, even in jest, the guys that are watching, who are a snap shot of our society, may think poorly upon you, and your profession.

But then again the whore and slut term is a part of some womens persona, and they make mad bank with it.... so I guess go ,do, be, but I will not use the term personally :D
 
Yeah but who decides what's offensive? You, me, anyone. Who makes up a word? You, me, anyone can. You limit yourself by being offended. Meanings of words change over time constantly. Once I took a class in the etymology of some english that most people would view as offensive and it was quite interesting even a bit beautiful really. And a fuckton of fun.
Listen to a brilliant professor in her 60s break down the the history and evolvement of the word "poontang" and tell me it's not going to be a good day. :lol:

I can go around saying slutterific, and maybe everyone else starts using it and it becomes something positive. Let's say it's defined it as, being perceived as sexy, intelligent and amazing.

And then 100 years from now someone goes "How was your day?" and someone responds "Slutterific! I looked good! I felt great! And people really listened to what I had to say!"

Or, hey, some new country could emerge in another part of the world that calls itself Boobtopia and conquers America. Then 100 years from now everyone speeks Boobtopian and has a whole new list of words to be offended by. Ya know what I mean? Language is something that's fluid and changes so often it just seems a waste of time to get overly offended by single words. It's even a bit arrogant to assume any handful of them will have some huge impact on future generations. English itself could cease to exist by then. It could be nothing more than a three second blurb in some bored adolescent's studies.
 
I like being called a whore in the bedroom or with a good regular during a private or something like that. I feel it only has meaning if you give it that. Camwhore is just a name and I don't look at it in a negative way. I can see how many do not wanted to be called a camwhore but it does not bother me. Instead of saying that whore is a neg thing how about say fuck society and whore is not a bad thing:

"Whore: a woman who engages in sexual acts for money :"....is this not true? This is what we do and if we do sex acts for money IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A BAD THING!!!!

We all have sex or do sexual things just some of us get paid for it and THAT IS OK!!

Just my opinion
 
I don't really see it as a insult. Just a word to describe people that perform sex acts for money.
 
StacySweet said:
I'm just curious what are your thoughts and feelings on being called a whore or a slut or the like? Do you find it offensive and degrading? Do you even care? Or are you a sick pup like me who enjoys and actually gets off from it?!

It does not describe me in the slightest, I give that shit away for free, not that anyone wants it. Maybe incompetent slut is a better name for me.
 
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In the derogatory context of those terms, there's still an imbalanced notion of how men and women are viewed in relation to sex:
If a woman sleeps around, she's labeled as a "whore, slut, ho" (negative perception)
If a man sleeps around, he's labeled as a "pimp, stud, or THE MAN" (positive perception)


Although i've heard people flipping the terms by negatively referring more males as "whores" or "sluts," there's still a large number of folks who believe that only women can be labeled as such derogatory terms, particularly chauvinists.. one of the great double standards....
 
bawksy said:
I wondered who would call out my forum avatar at some point during this thread...

Clearly the word doesn't offend me. Most of you know my thoughts on "being offended" by words.

zV6DXrvl.jpg


And to add to that, I do believe that if the majority stopped feeling "offended" at a word, it would lose its power as "something offensive" and just be a regular ol' word.
 
I believe it is appropriate to quote this exchange from the Patrick Swayze film "Road House."

Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?

Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.

Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?

Dalton: Is she?
 
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Whore is a word I'd rather not be called. I simply don't like the sound of the word. Slut isn't a word that bothers me so much. But really it all depends on how I'm living my life. Currently I work on cams but I am in a committed relationship, if someone were to call me a whore or a slut in the camworld, well, I'm used to that, so I'd tell them to fuck off and ban them (unless it were a private and then I'd let it pass by as it's just dirty chat), but if someone were to call me that in real life, well yeah, I'd be pretty pissed off, because it's something that's just not true. When I was younger I didn't mind being called a slut so much, though it's more the meaning behind the word. If someone says I'm slutty as a description and not in a nasty sense of the word then if I really am sleeping around then it's not something I'd get insulted by. I never liked the word whore because in my mind the word whore sounds dirtier, and also might imply I'd be easy. When I was younger I used to sleep with plenty of men, but I was in no way easy unless I'd decided beforehand I was going to sleep with someone, for someone I hadn't decided that they wouldn't stand a chance.

To be perfectly honest, these words, they don't mean all that much coming from total randoms. They are words I've been named since I was like 12/13, since before I ever could have been a slut or a whore. And before that the word we used to use was "tart", which absolutely no one believed me when I told them it was a word for a prostitute until I looked it up and showed them in the dictionary. I went to an all girls school and at 8/9 we were already slut-shaming each other. Where did the behaviour come from? Did we come up with it on our own, did we overhear parents or see it on the television?
LuckySmiles said:
And like, you ever hang out with people from Ireland or the UK? They drop cunt bombs like it's nothing. To them it's probably the same as using the word "shit" which in america seems like a less offensive curse word for whatever reason.
The first time I heard from someone I was working with I was a little taken aback. But then they're so cute about it with their accents! Plus they use it as an adjective for like everything.

That's not an itchy annoying sweater, that sweater's "cuntish"

Lol well I'm glad our accents make up for our terrible language! It is true though, we swear all the time, we don't realise we do it. You only realise when you're spending time with your friend's impressionable toddler and keep swearing without even realising. My brother, who is a rather more upstanding member of society than I am, often points out how much I swear and tells me to stop. It pisses me off no end. Bastard was the one who taught me these words.

Cunt is a word that I save for special occasions. It's not a word I care about hearing, but I do wait to use it on people who I really think deserve it. My best friend from school was hungarian and took a fancy to english swear words, of course they didn't mean as much to her as they did to the english, her favourite word was "cunt", and she used it a LOT. It was sometimes awkward going out for meals with her because her voice was so loud and the language use was somehow mostly swear words.
 
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I've been trying to come to terms with exactly how I feel when reading this thread. The quote Amber used made me realize what it was exactly. When someone refers to me or someone else as a whore in a mean way it annoys me. Reason why is it's just a copout for someone who can't articulate a good comeback. Basically one person says or does something another doesn't like then that person says whore. It's just whiny and annoying in that regard. As for if one person sleeping with the other calls them a whore, naw that's mainly between the couple and how the fantasy is going, but I doubt it's meant in quite the same light.
 
I get offended, but just because it's incorrect. A whore is a prostitute, I am not a prostitute. A slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous, I am not. If you called me a tree, I'd be equally offended. It's not that the word is offensive, it's that it doesn't describe me properly.
 
I'm generally not offended by it but it really depends on the context.

In the bedroom, I'm okay with it; it's a way of saying "I wanna do nasty things to you"

With friends, I'm okay with it; it's a joke.

When fighting with someone I care about, yeah, I'm offended; it's their way of trying to utterly degrade me based on what I choose to do with my life. I'm not offended by the word, I'm offended by their opinion of me expressed by it.

It affects me the same way "wetback" does. Most of the time it a joke but when someone's intent is to degrade me, it's different.
 
Context is key, yo.

"Man, that bitch is a money hungry camwhore" said by a member about a model without any hint of irony or sarcasm = offensive

"I'm putting up a countdown in my topic 'cos I'm a money hungry camwhore" said in jest by a model to her regulars when on cam = not offensive

"Get on your hands and knees and crawl to me so I can fuck your dirty mouth like the filthy little whore you are" said by a bro in a bar to a girl he's never met before = offensive

"Get on your hands and knees and crawl to me so I can fuck your dirty mouth like the filthy little whore you are" said by some guy to his girlfriend whom he respects and loves but knows enjoys being spoken to like that in the bedroom = not offensive

I tend to subscribe to the Lenny Bruce theory of there being no bad words, only bad intentions...

*RACIAL SLURS APLENTY AHEAD, YO*

Are there any niggers here tonight? Could you turn on the house lights, please, and could the waiters and waitresses just stop serving, just for a second? And turn off this spot. Now what did he say? "Are there any niggers here tonight?" I know there's one nigger, because I see him back there working. Let's see, there's two niggers. And between those two niggers sits a kyke. And there's another kyke— that's two kykes and three niggers. And there's a spic. Right? Hmm? There's another spic. Ooh, there's a wop; there's a polack; and, oh, a couple of greaseballs. And there's three lace-curtain Irish micks. And there's one, hip, thick, hunky, funky, boogie. Boogie boogie. Mm-hmm. I got three kykes here, do I hear five kykes? I got five kykes, do I hear six spics, I got six spics, do I hear seven niggers? I got seven niggers. Sold American. I pass with seven niggers, six spics, five micks, four kykes, three guineas, and one wop. Well, I was just trying to make a point, and that is that it's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. Dig: if President Kennedy would just go on television, and say, "I would like to introduce you to all the niggers in my cabinet," and if he'd just say "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" to every nigger he saw, "boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie," "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" 'til nigger didn't mean anything anymore, then you could never make some six-year-old black kid cry because somebody called him a nigger at school.

That said, I realise that not everybody thinks that way, so there are certain words I just don't use unless the context is readily apparent ("camwhore" would be one of these).
 
Setting any feelings about the word aside, I suppose a more accurate title would be "cyber whore" or "digital whore". If a whore is a person who gets paid money for sex, then a cyber/digital whore is a person who gets paid money for cyber sex. Also, a cam whore would get paid for cam sex. But that sounds like sex with a camera. :)

When we are doing our private shows, group shows, or public shows where we are using dildos on ourselves in effort it simulate our viewers having sex wth us, thats cyber or digital sex, IMO.

This is just my opinion and reasoning though. I'm sure it makes sense to those who don't have an emotional response to the word.
 
Isabella_deL said:
Whore is a word I'd rather not be called. I simply don't like the sound of the word. Slut isn't a word that bothers me so much. But really it all depends on how I'm living my life. Currently I work on cams but I am in a committed relationship, if someone were to call me a whore or a slut in the camworld, well, I'm used to that, so I'd tell them to fuck off and ban them (unless it were a private and then I'd let it pass by as it's just dirty chat), but if someone were to call me that in real life, well yeah, I'd be pretty pissed off, because it's something that's just not true. When I was younger I didn't mind being called a slut so much, though it's more the meaning behind the word. If someone says I'm slutty as a description and not in a nasty sense of the word then if I really am sleeping around then it's not something I'd get insulted by. I never liked the word whore because in my mind the word whore sounds dirtier, and also might imply I'd be easy. When I was younger I used to sleep with plenty of men, but I was in no way easy unless I'd decided beforehand I was going to sleep with someone, for someone I hadn't decided that they wouldn't stand a chance.

I personally feel like being referred to in the context of "easy" or "not easy" is much more offensive than being called a whore. The whole not easy/easy thing is a part of slut shaming, of taking away a woman's ability to sleep with who she wants (or doesn't) and when she wants to (or doesn't). "Easy" is just a term to describe you from a male sex perspective. I might not be promiscuous, but when ever I see people chatting about how I'm not easy it makes me gag a bit. Women should be able to sleep with whoever and being referred to as easy or not needs to die.

As far as the camwhore thing, it's something I've used to describe me in the past, but I don't have super strong feels one way or the other about it. I do think I won't use it to describe myself anymore, but it doesn't offend me. And in real life, I don't really get turned on by people calling me a whore during sex.
 
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Some people think stoner or pothead is insulting and derogatory. I see it as just words to describe someone who smokes a lot of erb. I see nothing wrong with smoking so I don't see it as a insult. Whore is kinda the same. A whore is someone who performs sex acts for money. I don't see anything wrong with this so I don't see it as insulting. Would be wildly hypocritical to pay camgirls to perform sex acts and then insult them for it. Would be wildly hilarious for someone who performs sex acts for money to get offended or insulted by a word that simply describes the profession they have chosen.
 
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PunkInDrublic said:
Some people think stoner or pothead is insulting and derogatory.

I don't think there's a term out there that won't offend somebody. Just this month I've seen civil servants in the UK object to being referred to as civil servants, women object to being referred to as females, and Britons object to being referred to as Brits. It's a crazy world we live in :?
 
I don't really care about terms; all that matters is intent.

If someone calls me a cunt whore ass slutbitch and I seriously doubt they have any intent to cause mental distress on my part, then whatever.

If they call me a 'stupid turdface' and I know they're trying to get a rise out of me, then I'd be significantly more disapproving.

What matters is what they're trying to do, not what they say. Words are only as powerful as what you put behind them. We shouldn't get hung up on meaningless concepts or things, we should get hung up on people.
 
context and feelings aside and risking being shunned for going to the dictionary (Merriam-Webster.com)...

whore
a woman who engages in sexual acts for money
a male who engages in sexual acts for money

sex act
an action performed with another person for sexual pleasure

you can't deny that the majority of camgirls do perform sex acts (even if virtually) for money, therefore they can, by definition, be called a whore.

PlayboyMegan said:
I get offended, but just because it's incorrect. A whore is a prostitute, I am not a prostitute. A slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous, I am not. If you called me a tree, I'd be equally offended. It's not that the word is offensive, it's that it doesn't describe me properly.
Prostitute
to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money

while all prostitutes are whores, not all whores are prostitutes.
 
Crumb said:
context and feelings aside and risking being shunned for going to the dictionary (Merriam-Webster.com)...

whore
a woman who engages in sexual acts for money
a male who engages in sexual acts for money

sex act
an action performed with another person for sexual pleasure

you can't deny that the majority of camgirls do perform sex acts (even if virtually) for money, therefore they can, by definition, be called a whore.

PlayboyMegan said:
I get offended, but just because it's incorrect. A whore is a prostitute, I am not a prostitute. A slut is someone who is sexually promiscuous, I am not. If you called me a tree, I'd be equally offended. It's not that the word is offensive, it's that it doesn't describe me properly.
Prostitute
to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money

while all prostitutes are whores, not all whores are prostitutes.
I guess it depends what dictionary you use.
 
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