Responding to mental health problems in chat

[aurora_monroe]

TW: self harm, suicide

Hey all! I've been streaming on CB for a few months now and I'm running into problems concerning people's mental health- sometimes I'll get someone who hangs around, tips a bit, chats for an hour or two (or over the course of a few days or weeks) and then out of the blue starts talking about how he wants to harm or kill himself. My gut instinct is to shadowban these users since they harsh my vibe and drive people out of my room, but I feel really guilty shadowbanning someone who's formed a relationship with me (albeit a sort of para-social relationship) when my actions could potentially be a trigger. I try to suggest calling a hotline and discourage the conversation happening in my room. Not to be insensitive, but that behavior super annoying and disruptive, not to mention it makes me extremely anxious that I'll say something to upset them.

Models with experience on handling this- please advise. How have do you handle troubling token holders?

 

[AudriTwo]

i tell them im sorry for whatever is going on in their life, that they are worthy, this isnt the place to be discussing that sort of thing because im hella unqualified and to please seek help or contact the national suicide prevention lifeline to speak immediately with someone who is capable and qualified. remind them it's nothing against them. im a sex worker, not a mental health worker. i try to be polite at first but if they keep talking about their mental health after i will give them a warning that I will kick them if they continue. i wont ban, unless they become outright abusive.

i think people are more inclined to talk to us about their mental health issues because we sexworkers are very non-judgmental in general. i try my best not to get annoyed because i wouldn't want hurt someone who is in a vulnerable state and cause them to not want to reach out to get proper help if i negatively react.

i deal with a lot of suicidal thoughts and selfharm myself. it can be very triggering for me if someone comes into my room expressing that and im not in a good headspace. i have to think of my own mental health and not engage after i set that boundary. if it makes me a bitch, so be it. end of the day im not responsible for someone's wellbeing other than my own.

 

[AmazingAlexaNY]

also 741-741 text hotline for people who get anxious about making calls this is earlier. well for me it it.

 

[GothHostess]

I try shut it down as quickly as possible, tbh. I have mental health issues myself and I understand the guilt that comes along with not feeling like you can help them - but ultimately, like AudtriTwo said, we are not mental health workers. They need to seek out the help they need in the real world and not the cam world, and they themselves need to be the ones to take that step. There is no way for us to do it for them. I think sending a hot line number, then shadowbanning, is the perfect action to take here. The more you feed into them, the more they will try to use you as a stand in therapist.

I actually think that this is super disrespectful on the members part, tbh. Something that intense can be extremely emotionally draining when you are trying to put on a show/at any time, plus they have no idea if what they're saying could potentially very triggering to you or even the other members in your room. I think it's a form of self care to have a boundary set in place for this, and hopefully over time you'll be able to override the guilt that comes with shutting them down by knowing this is what's best for YOU (and also for the members in your room!).

 

[darcyduke]

I get this alot too, especially during the pandemic. it's a tough one, as I have mental health problems of my own, but I always try and urge them to contact a helpline...

 

[CallMeMaria]

This is a really tough one. I have had a few too. I once ended up talking a drunken client off a window ledge after a real life date with another woman gone bad. This was on a video call - which he paid for, of course.. He called me after his date with the woman, and we were chatting about life and it escalated quite suddenly and before I knew it he was in a very, very dark place.

God damn did I feel out of my depth. Couldnt just hang up either..

Lucky I managed to get him off...But it remains with me - I do not want to be in that boat again, so I try not to engage with people who have self harming thoughts.

 

[jdagain]

Wow, just wow. I don't know what is sadder - someone who feels their only social tether is to a cam model, or a cam model forced into the heavy role of personal therapist for a desperate soul. It pains me to think of them both.