Polygamy, For or Against?

[Chamaeleon]

Well, I'm a bit slow. I downloaded the HBO Go app and started watching Big Love for the first time. Sadly, I have only two episodes left to watch. :crybaby:

But it's made me think.... And I'd like your opinion.

How do you feel about polygamy, and would you be a partner to a polygamist marriage?

In my thinking (currently perhaps biased by the three hot Big Love wives), I'm wondering why it isn't culturally accepted in western civilization.

 

[LiLredhairedgrl]

My boyfriend always teases me that he wants two wives--one to do the cooking, cleaning, etc, and of course ME
(the non-cooking cleaning wife...you know what my job would be! ha!)

but in all seriousness, there is no way in HELL I would share my Charlie Brown with any woman.
(unless its some random hot 3some with a girl that I APPROVE and CHOOSE, and I would be PICKY for I don't trust many girls...!)

Maybe I am a little controlling and insecure or maybe its just that I am a naive yet fierce romantic, a doomed believer of happy ever after...​

 

[Jaydenrainey]

personally to me polygamy is ok if it is allowed on both sides. hey i Should be able to have three husbands if i want to! lol but seriously pertaining to big love and old school Mormon beliefs polygamy is lame. the whole sister wife thing is creepy. and its so anti-woman its enough to make me puke. but in the real world polygamy is not practical there will always be jealousy and incest is a prevalent part of that lifestyle too many family members not to end up accidentally screwing one of them lol. but seriously i want three husbands. hehe

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

Personally though I don't like to share my cock, it's mine and I don't share well with others. :-D

 

[Nordling]

personally to me polygamy is ok if it is allowed on both sides. hey i Should be able to have three husbands if i want to! lol but seriously pertaining to big love and old school Mormon beliefs polygamy is lame. the whole sister wife thing is creepy. and its so anti-woman its enough to make me puke. but in the real world polygamy is not practical there will always be jealousy and incest is a prevalent part of that lifestyle too many family members not to end up accidentally screwing one of them lol. but seriously i want three husbands. hehe

And that's the problem. Polygamy almost always devolves to polygyny, and rarely polyandry. And, in the case of the radical, fundamentalist Mormons, it's a form of semi-consenting slavery. Since humans propagate approximately 1:1 in gender ratio, there's no way the situation on a large scale would not end in violence. lol

If a bunch of women want to live with one dude, fine, let them. But I can't see making such situations become a legal marriage, for the above reasons.

 

[WickedTouch]

I can understand that polygamy works in certain cultures, usually on the religious level like it does with The Mormons, but all the ones I have come across so far are biased in favour of the male side of the relationship. One guy, six wives etc, but never the other way round. How so?

Personally, I have always been a one woman guy... its less complicated that way. Then again, maybe that comes from me being a first born... I don't like to share my toys. Nope, its a big thumbs down for me I'm afraid.

Imagine... 6 wives and 6 mothers-in-law though... :shock:

 

[sxycherrypie]

I am for Polygamy. I have been very curious about it and have talked about it with my husband and have been looking for a girl willing to try it out with us but no luck.All i get is you won't let her have another guy and all I want is 1 girl to be with my and my hubby that's it no one else bridging off unless it is ok with everyone in the relationship. I really want to do this but it is like finding a unicorn in the forest.

For me I think it is a great way to experiment with your sexuality more than anyone else has.A way to be more comfortable with your sexuality as well and plus to love another person along with the person you already love.To have the loving bonds between eachother hubby,wife,and your other guy/girl lover.But if i was to get into it it wouldn't be just for me it would be for my husband as well so the 3 of us can love eachother bond and grow ya know?

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

I am for Polygamy. I have been very curious about it and have talked about it with my husband and have been looking for a girl willing to try it out with us but no luck.All i get is you won't let her have another guy and all I want is 1 girl to be with my and my hubby that's it no one else bridging off unless it is ok with everyone in the relationship. I really want to do this but it is like finding a unicorn in the forest.

For me I think it is a great way to experiment with your sexuality more than anyone else has.A way to be more comfortable with your sexuality as well and plus to love another person along with the person you already love.To have the loving bonds between eachother hubby,wife,and your other guy/girl lover.But if i was to get into it it wouldn't be just for me it would be for my husband as well so the 3 of us can love eachother bond and grow ya know?

Sweety, umm your confusing polygamy with a threesome. http://dictionary.reference.com/

Edit: Are you maybe thinking polyamory?

 

[sxycherrypie]

I am for Polygamy. I have been very curious about it and have talked about it with my husband and have been looking for a girl willing to try it out with us but no luck.All i get is you won't let her have another guy and all I want is 1 girl to be with my and my hubby that's it no one else bridging off unless it is ok with everyone in the relationship. I really want to do this but it is like finding a unicorn in the forest.

For me I think it is a great way to experiment with your sexuality more than anyone else has.A way to be more comfortable with your sexuality as well and plus to love another person along with the person you already love.To have the loving bonds between eachother hubby,wife,and your other guy/girl lover.But if i was to get into it it wouldn't be just for me it would be for my husband as well so the 3 of us can love eachother bond and grow ya know?

Sweety, umm your confusing polygamy with a threesome. http://dictionary.reference.com/

Edit: Are you maybe thinking polyamory?

Polyamory is probably it. And I don't just want a 3 some I want a relationship with the girl along with my hubby. Am I really confusing it for something else?

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

I am for Polygamy. I have been very curious about it and have talked about it with my husband and have been looking for a girl willing to try it out with us but no luck.All i get is you won't let her have another guy and all I want is 1 girl to be with my and my hubby that's it no one else bridging off unless it is ok with everyone in the relationship. I really want to do this but it is like finding a unicorn in the forest.

For me I think it is a great way to experiment with your sexuality more than anyone else has.A way to be more comfortable with your sexuality as well and plus to love another person along with the person you already love.To have the loving bonds between eachother hubby,wife,and your other guy/girl lover.But if i was to get into it it wouldn't be just for me it would be for my husband as well so the 3 of us can love eachother bond and grow ya know?

Sweety, umm your confusing polygamy with a threesome. http://dictionary.reference.com/

Edit: Are you maybe thinking polyamory?

Polyamory is probably it. And I don't just want a 3 some I want a relationship with the girl along with my hubby. Am I really confusing it for something else?

Yes then Polyamory :thumbleft:

Polyamory: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.

Polygamy: marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one spouse at the same time.

 

[sxycherrypie]

Then yes polyamory is what I want =D sorry for being off topic ot am I still on topic but yea I have had no luck and when I try to find a girl I get bashed cause all they think i want is a 3 some or FWB (friends with benefits).So hard to find some one with the same interests *sigh*.

 

[Rose]

BJ and I have talked about this and if it were realistic, we'd love to have 2 more wives join. However, with our families and lifestyles it most likely won't happen. :/ We'll probably just continue to be polyamorous and share girlfriends instead.

 

[sxycherrypie]

BJ and I have talked about this and if it were realistic, we'd love to have 2 more wives join. However, with our families and lifestyles it most likely won't happen. :/ We'll probably just continue to be polyamorous and share girlfriends instead.

I also would not mind 1 wive to join me and my hubby to share I think it would be a wonderful experience if we find the right woman.The question is how the hell do I find her? I tried adult friend finder and craigs list and all I get is bots trying to get me to sign up for something or a dude pretending to be a girl. So annoying.

 

[Rose]

I also would not mind 1 wive to join me and my hubby to share I think it would be a wonderful experience if we find the right woman.The question is how the hell do I find her? I tried adult friend finder and craigs list and all I get is bots trying to get me to sign up for something or a dude pretending to be a girl. So annoying.

Those aren't the places you want to look to find a sister wife. It's like dating. You go out to bars or other places where singles are at but it's slightly more complicated in this situation. My point was we're not going to force it because we don't want to get stuck in unhappy marriages. It's not very realistic in our situation because of my health problems and the culture around here, so we're not trying to force it. If it happens, then fantastic! If not, we're not holding our breath.

 

[sxycherrypie]

I hear ya. I live in a religious town.Though some people aren't and it is hard trying to find the right one even in the bar.If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't but I sure to hell i hope it does!

 

[MadisonLeigh]

I am fine with polyamory and would consider that lifestyle. I wouldn't want polygamy since I don't want to get married. I think as long as everyone is consenting and in the marriage/relationship because they truly want to be, I have no issue with it. But I think the Mormon polygamy culture is really misogynistic and that bothers me.

 

[SatanJonez]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

Personally though I don't like to share my cock, it's mine and I don't share well with others. :-D

This! :thumbleft:

 

[JickyJuly]

If people can be happy together more power to 'em. I find marriage difficult enough with just the 2 people involved. Hehe. Adding a 3rd would make me feel on even shakier ground. You know when you're a kid and have two best friends? They always eventually get mad about not being best friend numero uno and run off to play together without you for a while. Not sure I need that kind of rejection and gang mentality within the confines of marriage. :lol:

 

[Traditio]

First I am all for let people do what they want and if some people are happy with being married to more than one partner there should be no one able to forbid this.

Personally I don't want that for me. I never understood people with several relationships at one time.
As much as I like women but one is enough. That is like asking for a second t-bone steak in the restaurant. Too much of the good will kill you.
But I think I could live with my wife finding another man if she wants to. I am not the jealous one.

 

[Jupiter551]

Yeah, but as others have said (and virtually every woman who's commented in favour in this thread has confirmed) "polygamy" might as well just be called polygyny because the husband isn't usually okay with the women being married other dudes - it's just group-sex-on-call for the husband, or at least a variety multipack of wives.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't honestly believe that there can be a harmonious and equal romantic relationship between more than two people at the same time. They may all have affection for one another, lust, genuinely like each others company, tolerate it because they love their man and will do anything to please him, but it's not (to my mind) the same as a relationship between two people can be.

There are a ton of social issues surrounding communities that practice plural marriage, not the least of which is that adolescent males are often run out of town and forced to live on the street while the older, wealthier males marry the adolescent girls - often underage.

In fact, since this started with someone watching Big Love, part of the main character's background is he was thrown out of his community by his father and forced to live on the street for exactly the reasons above.

 

[Rosemary]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

^Yep!

If I had a girl I loved with the man I love and polygamy were legal and the benefits were worth the marriage- fuck yes. I would do it. I am a bit sore that I am not allowed the option.

 

[Jupiter551]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

You're assuming most participants in polygamy are consenting and happy? 14 year old girls forced to marry 70 year old perverts are probably neither consenting, nor happy

Polygamy (as it's most famously practiced today) was instituted so that old men like Joseph Smith and his fellow elders in the Mor(m)on community could snatch up their colleagues daughters in a sort of pedophilic trade-off. Smith had 28 wives, some as young as 14.

It may not come as much of a surprise that amongst a fundamentally religious, strongly patriarchal community, 14 year old girls don't have much power and in most cases if they were given a choice it probably wouldn't be to marry a crusty old man.

The truth is, polygamy as it's most widely practiced has nothing to do with sexual freedom and personal choice, and everything to do with abuse, power and cycles of violence.

I don't like mormons. At ALL. And I think polygamy deserves to be "outed" as the thinly-veiled abuse that it is.

Yeah, these guys are kind of bad overactors but still lol.

 

[Rosemary]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

You're assuming most participants in polygamy are consenting and happy? 14 year old girls forced to marry 70 year old perverts are probably neither consenting, nor happy

The same could be said about forced monogamy. Also, force negates consent.

 

[Jupiter551]

The same could be said about forced monogamy.

Absolutely, but I guess I have yet to see an example of modern day polygamy that didn't consist of crazy religious dogma and measures of coercion both societal and religious. Forced marriage (some arranged marriage for instance) is likewise reprehensible.

Unlike monogamy however, polygamy contains within it an imperative to disenfranchise younger males and/or coerce younger females into marriages they wouldn't have otherwise chosen. Polygamy couldn't exist if some of the older (more powerful) males didn't exert their power to coerce or force marriage.

Roughly 50/50 male to female ratio in the world, if some of those males have 4 wives well...you can see that doesn't add up well for any society.

Polyamory - go knock yourself out, if you can have a 5 way relationship where everyone's happy then good for you guys. Polygamy is a completely different thing.

 

[luvsyou]

If all are consenting adults, the gov't has no business telling people who or how many they can marry. Gov'ts role should be to provide people the opportunity to succeed by providing infrastructure, security and equal rights.....it has nothing to do with their bedrooms.

Both the Republicans and Democrats just don't get it in my opinion.

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

My only criteria for what others do is everyone is consenting and happy, so I clearly don't have a problem with polygamy.

You're assuming most participants in polygamy are consenting and happy? 14 year old girls forced to marry 70 year old perverts are probably neither consenting, nor happy

Polygamy (as it's most famously practiced today) was instituted so that old men like Joseph Smith and his fellow elders in the Mor(m)on community could snatch up their colleagues daughters in a sort of pedophilic trade-off. Smith had 28 wives, some as young as 14.

It may not come as much of a surprise that amongst a fundamentally religious, strongly patriarchal community, 14 year old girls don't have much power and in most cases if they were given a choice it probably wouldn't be to marry a crusty old man.

The truth is, polygamy as it's most widely practiced has nothing to do with sexual freedom and personal choice, and everything to do with abuse, power and cycles of violence.

I don't like mormons. At ALL. And I think polygamy deserves to be "outed" as the thinly-veiled abuse that it is.

Yeah, these guys are kind of bad overactors but still lol.

Jup you just wanted to argue with me bb :lol:

I said consenting not forced consent, though I do understand your point. Those polygamists that force underage girls into situations such as this are fucked.

 

[JickyJuly]

If all are consenting adults, the gov't has no business telling people who or how many they can marry. Gov'ts role should be to provide people the opportunity to succeed by providing infrastructure, security and equal rights.....it has nothing to do with their bedrooms.

Both the Republicans and Democrats just don't get it in my opinion.

I think to some degree polygamy falls into human (and by human i mean mostly womens') rights issues. If someone wants sister wives/husbands they should have it. But it is an alternative choice. It would be a huge bummer if little girls grew up thinking all they could be was part of a herd of wives instead of the wife.

On the other hand, some groups that live as wives but only have one legal wife take advantage of the system. Since the other wives are technically single (and often single parents) government benefits are available for them.

 

[Sevrin]

The government may not have any business in our bedrooms, but marriage is about more than fucking. There are tax considerations, child custody issues, claims on property, etc. What's more with polygamy, wealthier citizens will end up with all the mates, and the poorer members of society will be deprived. That does not make for a healthy society.

In my province, as many couples live together unmarried as married. If you don't insist on having the state endorse your union, polygamy laws have no effect. If you do, then you have to play by the rules. By the way, in my province common-law couples do not enjoy de facto property rights as they do elsewhere.

 

[Poker_Babe]

If all are consenting adults, the gov't has no business telling people who or how many they can marry. Gov'ts role should be to provide people the opportunity to succeed by providing infrastructure, security and equal rights.....it has nothing to do with their bedrooms.

Both the Republicans and Democrats just don't get it in my opinion.

AGREED!! The government should be kept out of marriage all together. Marriage is a religious ceremony and should be left up to the churches. Did George Washington need a marriage certificate??? No.
Marriage licenses were issued just after the civil war and were intended to be used for interracial marriages.
Black's Law Dictionary 1870 3rd Edition reads:
"Marriage License: a license or permission granted by public authority to persons who intend to intermarry."

In marriage licenses, there are three partners. The man, the woman, and the state.
The state has part-ownership of whatever the other two partners produce e.g. children.
How can social workers come to your door and say you're not being a good parent and take away your kids? Because they have part ownership of them! This is also why they can demand that your children go to school. They want THEIR children in THEIR schools.

 

[Jupiter551]

Intermarry is just a synonym for marry, it wasn't for interracial marriages lol. Blacks and whites can intermarry sure, and so can the Smith family and the Jones family.

There are plenty more benefits to married couples in general I think than to unmarried couples. Most get benefits from the government out of marriage, rather than the other way around. Also, if you have a child and don't take care of him/her, the state can step in whether you're married, de-facto, single or immaculate conception. It's about the child's welfare not your marriage license.

The day the government steps out of enforcing laws regarding marriage is the same day they stop protecting abused wives and children, and the day they stop ensuring a husband or wife gets financial help from a child's mother or father, and the day they stop your ex-husband or wife from fleeing to Nigeria with your kids. Welcome to the middle ages.