Pm-ing models

[Makko]

In the course of around a year, I visited many models. Some only once, some I visit every day they're online. But I now get so often pm'd it's almost driving me crazy. Sometimes I'm just on MFC to talk to fellow members or browse around for a bit.
I really hate telling them that I'm not in the mood right now or busy or whatever. Not replying I think is rude and I know you can block models but I feel bad doing that.
Especially since I may want to visit some of them occasionally.

But I really think I have to do something because it's getting increasingly annoying and emotionally harder to blow them off.
Maybe I just need someone to give me another perspective on this. I also just wonder what models think about members ignoring/blocking them.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I highly recommend setting your pm's to friends only and being selective with who you add. It also stops the poaching models who PM when you're in another model's room.

 

[Brit]

I'm not on MFC so I don't know the culture there. However, just as we models have boundaries that we wish to be respected, so too do the members. A boundary of yours is being breached and you should just be honest and upfront. Tell them that you're just online to chat with other members, browse around, rewatch vids you've purchased, a bit busy, whatever it is that you would rather do than chat. Tell them that you'll be up for chatting later (if you indeed are), but not right now. Of course it may hurt their feelings initially since you've developed the type of relationship with them that this is okay, but they should definitely respect it. If they aren't willing to respect your new boundaries, are you really interested in spending your time with people like that?

 

[CheeseMoon]

Not replying I think is rude and I know you can block models but I feel bad doing that.

I have the exact same 1st world problem as you, only on StripChat.

Since blocking them is the only technical recourse there, I have a couple of mental boilerplate texts I reply with (a.k.a. "easily debunked stupid bloke white lies") instead of taking the asshole route and block, and these polite replies help in getting most of them off your back. Then you are left with only the really stubborn ones, which I on a few occasions just had to block outright. However, a couple of these blocked models sent another model (or user) to friend you and negotiate/plead the model's case. "I demand you like my company!!". Flattering and creepy at the same time.

One of my replies (other than "please leave me alone") is that I'm online just to reply to messages from user friends (which is technically very often the case), but then you risk getting varations of "why can't you talk to me instead?". Another one is that I'm broke/out of tokens and don't want to waste their time, but then they call you on your user colour, your increasing gold score* or the "rich country bb" flag in your profile. Some keep tabs on everything.

The "stubborn naggers" are exceedingly few and far between, but a couple of them have almost been in bunny boiling territory before being shitcanned.

I wish StripChat models and users couldn't PM each other unless they were friends on the site, which means both sides could stop it by unfriending the other. Right now models can PM at will, and it's sometimes annoying in exactly the same way as getting a phone call from your boss after 10pm; "There goes tonight". I've already suggested to xChloe that they implement better PM controls since everything is getting a bit out of hand for everyone.

On the lighter side though, having to actively try to rid myself of the company of pretty women was a problem I never thought I would have

*) StripChat Gold Score is 1 point for every 10 tokens spent

 

[Cheeseonmyfriesplz]

"rich country bb

Omg dead

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I highly recommend setting your pm's to friends only and being selective with who you add. It also stops the poaching models who PM when you're in another model's room.

This. I've mentioned it before in how I do my PM's:

• 
  * I only allow Friends and Bookmarked models to PM me.
  * Friends: Models I visit regularly
  * Bookmarked Models: Models I visit infrequently or visited once and thought they might be worth another visit sometime in the future. If I find a model I want to visit her room, I add her to the bookmark list before I enter the room. This allows her to PM if she decides to. If I find I don't like her or her room, I leave and remove her from the bookmark list. This way, she can never PM me again.

I should add that I no longer allow other members to PM me. I had "friended" a few but after a while they started PMing me asking for tokens themselves. So, no more. Talk to me in the room.

This method does not block models on your list from messaging you when you don't want to talk to them. This is where we need to be adults and just explain to them that we're there to visit other models, read messages, or watch something and that we'll visit them another time. Most models are really cool about it and realize that most members visit multiple models. I used to have a couple of models who would try to push me or guilt me into visiting their room. I'd give them a respectable answer that I'm not interested today, and if they continue to push, I remove them from the list and don't visit them again.

The above has worked for me for many years. Yes blocking might be considered rude. But, if you've only visited a model once and continue to chat with her, you really should visit her or tip her again since you're chatting with her. I got tired of logging in and getting inundated with PM's from models I visited once, or models from their studios who I'd never visited, begging me for tokens. I wouldn't respond and I'd just close the PM.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

*) StripChat Gold Score is 1 point for every 10 tokens spent

About the same as MFC's "Rewards Points". One of the nice things about MFC is that they provide the ability to hide your tokens and how many points you have. I block models from seeing these, since it's none of their business how many I have of either. Let me models judge me by my actions, not by how many tokens or rewards points I have.

 

[CheeseMoon]

One of the nice things about MFC is that they provide the ability to hide your tokens and how many points you have.

You can only hide your current token amount on SC, not your gold score, and I assume these are the first user metrics models are taught when they start camming. That's fair enough since they're doing business on the site, but the sheer lack of finesse and old school travelling salesman foot-in-the-door pitch just gets to me. Not to mention the "you are seeing someone else, aren't you?" drama shit, but that's probably for another thread.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

You can only hide your current token amount on SC, not your gold score, and I assume these are the first user metrics models are taught when they start camming. That's fair enough since they're doing business on the site, but the sheer lack of finesse and old school travelling salesman foot-in-the-door pitch just gets to me. Not to mention the "you are seeing someone else, aren't you?" drama shit, but that's probably for another thread.

I get the business aspect. But, I don't think it's proper to base an impression off points a member has. Think of some of threads/posts here commenting on how on CB members will say they're broke and beg for a flash yet they're a particular colour that meant they spent tokens within a certain amount of time. While the points shows a member's tendency to spend tokens, it's not a guarantee they'll tip every model. Just like MFC's camscore system, a model could have the highest rank. But, that doesn't mean she appeals to every member.

As to drama, I agree with you. Many of the PM's I'd get were why aren't you spending time with me?!?!?! I even had a model try and do a love con on me then berate me because I was visiting other models.

 

[CheeseMoon]

While the points shows a member's tendency to spend tokens, it's not a guarantee they'll tip every model.

Exactly. I've been to so many rooms where it was too obvious that the model almost lost it when she realized my gold score, and everything after that just got weird. It's almost like having a puppy dry humping your leg. Not a very good setup for a relaxing evening.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Exactly. I've been to so many rooms where it was too obvious that the model almost lost it when she realized my gold score, and everything after that just got weird. It's almost like having a puppy dry humping your leg. Not a very good setup for a relaxing evening.

Perfect description as to why I hide my tokens and rewards points. While I get it's all about making money, I'd rather tip a model for a genuine reason such as something she said or did that was funny, intriguing, or maybe even a tip menu item. Don't pursue me because I may have high rewards points because then she may alienate all the others in her room.

 

[SaffronBurke]

About the same as MFC's "Rewards Points". One of the nice things about MFC is that they provide the ability to hide your tokens and how many points you have. I block models from seeing these, since it's none of their business how many I have of either. Let me models judge me by my actions, not by how many tokens or rewards points I have.

The ONLY time being able to view tokens and rewards points is useful, IMHO, is when it's a 0/20 member who's been on the site for years. The rest of the time, it's almost meaningless, because a high count doesn't mean that the member WILL tip, and a low count doesn't mean that he WON'T.

 

[Cheeseonmyfriesplz]

I find it very useful as a model cause I can’t stand liars or those who keep making excuses on why they can’t tip me. Specially if it’s a regular. Some regulars sadly turn into freeloaders cause they think they tipped you so much that they can stop tipping you and continue being buddies.

 

[Makko]

This. I've mentioned it before in how I do my PM's:


* I only allow Friends and Bookmarked models to PM me.

This is the problem for me. I currently have 39 models in my bookmarks. Only 3 of them I visit more than twice a week. I know it's a bit too much but I visited them all at one point and like them enough to keep them in the list. It's hard to just remove them; I may want to visit them again when those 3 models either quit or go on vacation for a few weeks.

I do ignore models who pm me (as in closing their pm window), like when I'm in the middle of a models' show but even then I start to feel guilty again.

Also, most pm's consists of 'hru bb'. I think those are a bit rude, makes me feel she does that with all her visitors and I don't feel obliged to answer those.

I have my tokens and points visible but I don't really see a harm in that. I never have more than 2.000 tokens since I only buy when needed. My points are around 12k but I doubt that has any meaning to models since most members have a lot more than that.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

This is the problem for me. I currently have 39 models in my bookmarks. Only 3 of them I visit more than twice a week. I know it's a bit too much but I visited them all at one point and like them enough to keep them in the list. It's hard to just remove them; I may want to visit them again when those 3 models either quit or go on vacation for a few weeks.

There will always be models you want to visit. I was in a similar situation when I first joined. But, quickly learned that there's far too many models and it's almost not worth the "what if" situation as you described. If they're that memorable, then you'll remember them if you're browsing the main page.

Personally, I have found a large model friend/bookmark list to be more troublesome than it's worth. It wound up leading to a lot of personal conflicts which I didn't care for. I went through the pain of figuring out who I wanted to stay in contact with and visit and drop the rest.

I do ignore models who pm me (as in closing their pm window), like when I'm in the middle of a models' show but even then I start to feel guilty again.

Also, most pm's consists of 'hru bb'. I think those are a bit rude, makes me feel she does that with all her visitors and I don't feel obliged to answer those.

If the majority of PM's are as you describe, and makes you feel that way, why feel guilty if you ignore them? She most likely is that way with all of her PM's. But, it's also her way of fishing for people to join her room and get tips. She doesn't take offense if you ignore them, especially if it's a model you've only interacted with once or twice.

I have my tokens and points visible but I don't really see a harm in that. I never have more than 2.000 tokens since I only buy when needed. My points are around 12k but I doubt that has any meaning to models since most members have a lot more than that.

I only buy as needed instead of banking tokens myself. But found reasons for hiding tokens. Once I hid tokens, some of the pm's stopped, and in privates it felt like the shows became better. It was almost as if the models were watching token count and basing what they did off of that instead of interaction with me.

Everyone has their own methods of interacting with models.

 

[Makko]

Thanks ForceTen that helped a lot. I have a lot to think about of what to do next.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

You're welcome, and hope you can find a solution that works for you.

 

[Danigirl]

I seriously hate 95% of PMs I get so I can understand why you hate it on your end. I don't ever initiate PMs unless it's to thank a high tipper or get additional info to add people to snap or mail panties. Otherwise, talk in my damn room. I have it locked down to friends only on MFC but stripchat is stupid crazy with the amount of PMs I get with just emojis or demands. Sorry models are abusing it on their side too. Lock it down if you can!

 

[Makko]

Update: I've changed it so only bookmarked models and friends can pm me. And I must say, it's much more relaxing being on MFC now. I also have removed 13 models so far from my list and have added just one.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Glad you’ve found it works. It can take a bit of management when going into new rooms if you add the model to bookmark so she might PM you. But, I have found it to be very beneficial and relaxing as you’ve stated.

 

[AnaBee]

I wish Chaturbate had same feature and that we could block PMs from random people.