Models who "want to get to know you"

[Whatman]

What's the consensus on models who refuse to do what you say, even minutes into a show, and continually engages in small talk?

It actually makes me furious when a girl drags a show on, thinking it's whorish or slutty to get naked for a customer until she "knows him better," despite the fact that she is getting paid by the second. If you think I'm wrong, I'm all ears on why, but I really hate the fact that some girls use cam sites to "make friends" when it is apparent what the platform is for.

 

[Mintx]

I... uh, I've never heard of any cam girl doing that- trying to make friends with guys through a cam site. I have also never heard of a cam site paying their models by the second, which site are you watching that does that? Are you tipping, or are you telling them to do things after they have been tipped by someone else?

If it makes you super angry about how a woman is running her show, you might want to try seeing someone else.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

What's the consensus on models who refuse to do what you say, even minutes into a show, and continually engages in small talk?

It actually makes me furious when a girl drags a show on, thinking it's whorish or slutty to get naked for a customer until she "knows him better," despite the fact that she is getting paid by the second. If you think I'm wrong, I'm all ears on why, but I really hate the fact that some girls use cam sites to "make friends" when it is apparent what the platform is for.

Does the model tell you she will do something different in private and then not do it? Did you ask what she offers in private and did she say "i'll double fist my ass for you bb" and then 3 mins in she's saying "lets just talk first, im shy"... cos then yeah that's annoying.


But otherwise, its on you. Many MANY members are on sites for social reasons. I have multiple well paying members who leave when i start shows, who take me private just to chat. They actually don't want to see me doing shows and are there to be social with me and my chat room. So what you may not be aware of is that the platform is for MANY things, including being friends.

As to why, i don't take privates with people that make me uncomfortable. I used to. I hated my job, my shows were shitty for people that made me feel like a piece of meat. For me i need to have some kind of connection with someone in a one on one setting. I don't like feeling like a wind up sex doll. That's why. I do a better show, i'm happier and a better camgirl in general, and it's all good.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I... uh, I've never heard of any cam girl doing that- trying to make friends with guys through a cam site. I have also never heard of a cam site paying their models by the second, which site are you watching that does that? Are you tipping, or are you telling them to do things after they have been tipped by someone else?

If it makes you super angry about how a woman is running her show, you might want to try seeing someone else.

pretty sure he's talking about a private show where he is paying per minute.

 

[Mintx]

OH.

Yeah, if that is what OP was referring to, then that is annoying if you and a model agree to something then she isn't doing it.

 

[melanieoncam]

She's probably not charging enough and feels she has to drag the show out to make any money at all. I have my prices high enough so that if a customer wants instant action I can still provide what he wants and make enough to make it worth my time.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I don't know what site you're talking about, but doesn't streamate have a free period of time at the beginning where lots of guys duck out? I have heard girls saying that due to that they don't show/do anything for the first period of time, they just use it to get acquainted and maybe do light teasing.

It's hard to say, I mean if someone takes me into a private show then I tend to go a bit slower at the beginning to warm up and then get to it pretty quickly, but if I were there with someone new I probably wouldn't start masturbating or doing anything too graphic very quickly as lots of guys will just go around doing this with girls then ducking out so they get the recording. Due to this and also like Lollipop, I like to feel a bit of a connection with a guy first.
I don't know if you as a member are taking girls private and then demanding they start penetrating themselves asap. I don't know if their "trying to get to know you" is trying to understand your sexual likes and dislikes and trying to warm you both up as part of the show and you are being impatient and objectifying. I don't know if they're chatting to you are they tease. I don't know if you're visiting brand new models who aren't confident and are then giving them a hard time for not knowing the drill and getting down and dirty immediately. I don't know if you're going to models who specifically don't do what you're asking and it is clearly on their profile, or even that they have a minimum token spend which is high so they can have some talk time first.
But then it could be a case of you going through all of the motions, asking the model what she likes to do, her agreeing, you agreeing to a certain amount of time and then her accepting the chat and just wanting to chill. In my opinion as a model I would think that is unacceptable. I like a little bit of teasing at first for both of us, especially if I know it's a longer one then I will take advantage of the extra time so I can get fully in my sexy zone and get wet more naturally, but I go into private chats to masturbate, and therefore I am usually in the zone pretty quickly. The only time I chat in privates are the "can you see me ok?" "awesome, what do you want to see first" "how do you want me?" "is there anything I should get first?" (if the person took me in private quickly so I didn't do that before), and then after that the chat is basically in the moment dirty chat and post orgasm chat. I have had chat only private shows or shows where we do a mixture of both, but for the most part you are there for the sexy times!
But I guess that is why I get lots of long privates and always get repeats. I went onto streamate years ago and got really confused with the free starting bit, I'd heard advice that you have to tease/strip slowly or you'll never get a decent length show, so I stripped slowly, a bit too slowly. It was a new site, it happens. I felt bad though because he had spent more than I thought he had. I gave up and moved back to MFC.

 

[NoelleBright]

You will have much better luck on Streamate getting the style of show you're looking for.

^Also there is a "free" period on SM, but it is very short (way less than a minute) and is basically only there for the customer to make sure they have a good connection to the models feed. It doesn't even end up being free, as they do get billed for that time, but only once they extend past it if that makes sense.

 

[Smores]

What's the consensus on models who refuse to do what you say, even minutes into a show, and continually engages in small talk?

It actually makes me furious when a girl drags a show on, thinking it's whorish or slutty to get naked for a customer until she "knows him better," despite the fact that she is getting paid by the second. If you think I'm wrong, I'm all ears on why, but I really hate the fact that some girls use cam sites to "make friends" when it is apparent what the platform is for.

To me this points out a situation where each of you had different expectations entering the show. You clearly wanted a sex show that would waste no time starting the sexual acts. She wanted a meeting where she would get to know you better to see if she trusted you enough to want to get naked in front of you.

There are many guys who pay models for privates to just talk to them one on one, so it is not outside the range of normal behavior for a new model to think that this is the normal way a private works.

How about you ask the model before you start a private "If we spend 20 minutes in a private, how much of that 20 minutes will be conversation only, and how much will be you naked doing a sex show?" You should know by her answer pretty quickly if she is dodging the question. I mean, if the only thing you care about is sex, then just make sure up front that this is something the model is comfortable delivering to you.

 

[CharlieCharma]

I've never heard of a model trying to make small talk and be your friend. I work on Streammate, and while I do spend 30 seconds(I have a stop watch up at all times)making sure the customer can see me, hear me, and that we're on the same page that is only because on Streammate you can back out before 30 seconds and not pay for a goddamn thing so dudes will try to get you naked for free that way.

 

[SMuser69]

What's the consensus on models who refuse to do what you say, even minutes into a show, and continually engages in small talk?

It actually makes me furious when a girl drags a show on, thinking it's whorish or slutty to get naked for a customer until she "knows him better," despite the fact that she is getting paid by the second. If you think I'm wrong, I'm all ears on why, but I really hate the fact that some girls use cam sites to "make friends" when it is apparent what the platform is for.

If a model delays, just leave. If they argue with you, just leave. Asking for what you want and expecting what you want isn't being rude. If it's a SM model after two minute you are free to leave a rating and comment to warn others of poor behavior. If the model tries to remove it SM will email you and you have 24 hours to object to it.

There are plenty models I would had loved to work with that simply tried delay tactics.

As for small talk be careful how much information you give a model. There been cases of models trying to extort members with information. You have the right to be as anonymous as the models are. A model can be banned on SM if she says you have to answer her questions.

 

[NoelleBright]

If it's a SM model after two minute you are free to leave a rating and comment to warn others of poor behavior. If the model tries to remove it SM will email you and you have 24 hours to object to it.

Any proof of this? This is the first I'm hearing of it.
I've had a number of retaliatory bad ratings removed after a member was either unreasonable, rude, asking for things against the rules, or revealed a fetish I'm not comfortable with minutes into the show instead of asking beforehand. Now, I'm sure these guys if contacted would have insisted the rating stay, but I have never had a single issue getting one taken away. I also always send proof of the bad behavior so that may have something to do with it. They're also usually removed in less than a day, so the 24 hour timeline to object to the removal doesn't seem to be in line with how quickly mine have gotten taken down.

I've been given ratings for shows less than 2 minutes as well.
At one point I pissed some bozo off on twitter and he was making new accounts a couple times a week, taking me private and just sitting there until he got billed, and then rating me a 1. These shows were all under 70 seconds. I also successfully got every rating from him removed.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

Firstly, please remember that models are fully entitled to refuse to do anything and everything for any reason. While it's in our best interests to cultivate happy customers, that shouldn't involve doing stuff or performing at a pace that isn't comfortable, or that simply isn't a part of our personal style. Just because a model takes things more slowly than you might like, it doesn't mean she's not doing her job - it means that you and she have incompatible camming styles.
Of course, you are fully entitled to leave at any time if you aren't enjoying yourself.

As far as why a model might do it, I think it's rarely because she's trying to make friends or doesn't want to feel "whoreish." A lot of likely reasons have already been mentioned:

• On SM, getting naked much before the 1 minute mark is going to get a lot of guys popping in, seeing you naked/topless, and leaving without getting charged. It's not fun to scramble out of your clothes and back into them for no money.
• In a private (exclusive, 1-to-1 show), I usually won't take off anything without the guy confirming that he wants me to undress. There are plenty of submissives that would be horrified if Mistress stripped for them, some Doms want me to undress only on command, and some guys just want to take it slow. I've had too many occasions where I started undressing and the guy was like "WAIT! STOP!"
• Keeping you in private longer is the cam girl equivalent of upselling. The average masturbating guy can cum in 3 minutes, but it's probably more fun for you and more profitable for us if you slow down a bit. Also, a model that makes all her money from 3 minute privates will quickly destroy her clothes from taking them on and off, and will probably have to ice her pussy everyday. If you politely indicate that you'd like a faster paced show, many of us understand and will accommodate you within reason.
• On the other hand, some models refuse to take off any clothing before the 5 minute mark, usually because they're trying to cultivate a more upscale image and well-to-do customer base, much like an escort that won't do appointments of less than 2+ hours. I kind of think that policy should be in her profile somewhere, but it might not be. It's her prerogative to run her business that way, and she's simply not the model for you.
• A lot of guys that want us to go really quickly can get extremely rude and demanding and forget that we're human beings that are having cyber sex with you. A customer that wants you to "CUM NOW! SQUIRT! CUM! NOW BB!" at the two minute mark while you triple fist your asshole, stand on your head, and sing kumbaya simply isn't worth it. Period. So... you know that thing where you're driving, and some impatient, speeding asshole decides to tailgate, so you slow down to 15mph below the speed limit? Yeah, sometimes we do that, too.
• Likewise, if a model usually offers a certain thing, but you really rub her the wrong way, she might refuse to do certain activities with you because you make her too uncomfortable to engage in her full repertoire.
• Some models genuinely feel a little weird jumping straight to the sex bit without at least asking your name/"name" (who knows, maybe she'll moan it when she's cumming!).

I think what @Smores suggests is really good. Just try to get a feel for what to expect before you go in. Maybe don't ask stuff like "How fast will you get naked for me?" or "How fast can you cum in private?" because that phrasing tends to be a little grating and makes you seem cheap. But "Hey, I only have time for a quickie, and I'd like to do X, Y, and Z with you. Do you think we can get to all that before I have to run?" might be a good approach.

 

[SMuser69]

Any proof of this? This is the first I'm hearing of it.
I've had a number of retaliatory bad ratings removed after a member was either unreasonable, rude, asking for things against the rules, or revealed a fetish I'm not comfortable with minutes into the show instead of asking beforehand. Now, I'm sure these guys if contacted would have insisted the rating stay, but I have never had a single issue getting one taken away. I also always send proof of the bad behavior so that may have something to do with it. They're also usually removed in less than a day, so the 24 hour timeline to object to the removal doesn't seem to be in line with how quickly mine have gotten taken down.

I've been given ratings for shows less than 2 minutes as well.
At one point I pissed some bozo off on twitter and he was making new accounts a couple times a week, taking me private and just sitting there until he got billed, and then rating me a 1. These shows were all under 70 seconds. I also successfully got every rating from him removed.

They get removed immediately however they get returned if the email is replied to. This has happened to me on a few occasions. Also when you leave a comment it doesn't appear right away either there is some filtering done (probably to stop someone from putting doxxing info in a comment). One time it took 2-3 days for my comment to appear and that was a positive one.

You have to remember this comes as an email from SM support and so I'm pretty sure 80% of people that's going straight into junk mail. I had to whitelist SM emails a long time ago.

I remember the 2 minutes was written somewhere on the site awhile ago I'll try to find where it went. It used to be if you were on less than that the window that lets you rate or add comments would simply not appear.

 

[Mikey_P]

She's just building rapport and trying to make extra money from her. Just be direct with her about what you want.

 

[Lucid1]

What's the consensus on models who refuse to do what you say, even minutes into a show, and continually engages in small talk?

It actually makes me furious when a girl drags a show on, thinking it's whorish or slutty to get naked for a customer until she "knows him better," despite the fact that she is getting paid by the second. If you think I'm wrong, I'm all ears on why, but I really hate the fact that some girls use cam sites to "make friends" when it is apparent what the platform is for.

I like to use PM's(if the site has them) and establish a rapport with the model before going private with them. I also check out their Bio's beforehand to see if they are averse to doing certain things. But most of the time the model is already doing something, wearing something or acting a certain way that piques my interest enough to ask for a private in the first place, and by the time I'm actually in the private, my motor is already running, and pretty much anything the model does will illicit a positive response on my part...even if it's a bit of small talk. But I think the most important aspect of my privates is that I don't approach a private from a position that I need to watch the clock every second. I've never understood the way some guys can expect a model to give them what they want in 3-5 minutes or less. To me that is just wasting the models time. Some models do like to build a rapport during privates, and yes, some models do take this to extremes to drag out the private, but I've found that the easiest way to prevent this is to let the model know up front how long I would like to spend with her...something along the lines of "hello lovely, would you like to spend 20 mins or so in private?". Establish the rapport, set the expectation and enjoy the show. Then, if ratings are available, use them fairly and judiciously.

 

[SaffronBurke]

If it's a SM model after two minute you are free to leave a rating and comment to warn others of poor behavior. If the model tries to remove it SM will email you and you have 24 hours to object to it.

Any proof of this? This is the first I'm hearing of it.
I've had a number of retaliatory bad ratings removed after a member was either unreasonable, rude, asking for things against the rules, or revealed a fetish I'm not comfortable with minutes into the show instead of asking beforehand. Now, I'm sure these guys if contacted would have insisted the rating stay, but I have never had a single issue getting one taken away. I also always send proof of the bad behavior so that may have something to do with it. They're also usually removed in less than a day, so the 24 hour timeline to object to the removal doesn't seem to be in line with how quickly mine have gotten taken down.

I hadn't heard of that before, either. However, any time I need an unreasonable rating removed, I include a screenshot of the chat, showing that I typed "I don't offer that/that's against the rules/etc" and the user pushed for it anyway.

I do like that they fairly evaluate rating removal requests, since there are both models and members who are dishonest/trolling/rude/harmful to the other party, so it does sound like they're protecting both ends evenly.