Models that have lost their magic?

[VeronicaChaos]

-When she has nothing to talk about besides camming or camscore
-When she starts arguing with every troll in her room or on twitter
-When she starts to have no interests besides camming

This is something I've thought a lot about. I've definitely have been that camgirl who has nothing else going on in her life besides camming so all I have to talk about is camming and it's super annoying.

In a way it's sort of cool because I have this "alarm system" where if I realize I'm just talking about camming/mfc that is my cue to go enjoy life a little bit. I also hate when I do this to my RL friends, usually when I haven't seen them for a month because I've been in camland and I know I'm annoying.

 

[bud9752]

It's a little like not being able to find your car keys (or something else)
where if you take a step back, close your eyes, and take a deep breath,
you remember where you laid it and all things are now fresh and right.
Don't keep dwelling on the negative points, take a fresh look after a time out.

 

[SinSeraTea]

Jolene. Are you a wizard?

This thread transformed into something really cool that I enjoyed reading a bunch.

 

[Ambers Troll]

It hurts my feelings when a member friend bores of me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. This thread is set up to be a constant reminder of that kind of heart wrenching reality none of us really want to think about I'm sure.

It is the same for the member losing interest in someone he used to enjoy as well. JJ is correct about this thread, I want you all to avoid what I am going through right now, and to find a way to rediscover lost magic.

As a few others have mentioned, some of you never lose it, most of you take a break from too much of it.... all of you still seem to be finding it in yourself or your favourites.
As I tried to suggest earlier, losing magic does not mean that you dislike someone (stop appreciating who they are), only that you no longer can enjoy what you used to about them. It is a personal thing more to do with the member than model usually.
Of course if a model finds many regulars/ supporters losing interest, it may be safe to assume that it is the model who has lost it. Even something as simple as losing self confidence, your smile, or your hair may be enough.

 

[Jillybean]

When it starts to become clear that she is bitter, unhappy, and not enjoying camming anymore but still logs on and just kinda expects people to tip her. I guess that would be considered losing her magic? Idk happens to almost all models after awhile.

Yep, you're completely right, Punk. Burnout is really common in camgirls, and really the only way to get rid of it is to take some time off-cam to rest, relax, and focus on IRL things that make you happy, not just camming. The problem arises that most girls don't have the luxury of being able to take that time off so it just gets worse and worse. It really sucks, but I think burnout happens in most jobs, and to most people at least once in their life. It's just that in camming where you need to be cheerful and entertaining all the time, it shows more than in other careers.

That being said, being burnt out doesn't mean the girl has 'lost her magic', and the premise of this thread makes me really uncomfortable. I feel like it could very easily turn into a borderline 'name and shame' thread, and all it takes is one model (not necessarily verified; there are plenty of unverified models, and anyone could make an account) to think that a member is talking about her to make this thread a battleground.

I know that you're a self-proclaimed troll, but this is taking it a bit far, yes? :?

My thoughts: Who is this new blond chick and where did she get her brain? I just want to kiss her amazing brain for saying exactly what all of us probably thought.

OH!! It's Gemma!! Your new avatar is so cute. It might not be new. I've just been inactive.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Jolene. Are you a wizard?

This thread transformed into something really cool that I enjoyed reading a bunch.

*I put on my robe and wizard hat*

 

[BarbieLuv]

My thoughts: Who is this new blond chick and where did she get her brain? I just want to kiss her amazing brain for saying exactly what all of us probably thought.

OH!! It's Gemma!! Your new avatar is so cute. It might not be new. I've just been inactive.

Awww, thank you Jilly! :romance-heartsfade:

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I've lost my "magic" before. Tons of times. Tonight, even. It's not that us models can't tell when it's happening. Trust me, we know. It usually feels about like this:

And it's really hard to make it right. You try harder to compensate for your own lacking and that makes it even worse. Before you know it, you've got a dozen trolls who sniff out insecurities like drug dogs. Before long, just staying on at all is an extreme act of discipline and patience. And it shows, it totally shows. But here's the thing...

...people propose this idea of someone "losing their magic" in regards to all artists and performers. Because everyone in that field experiences it as some point. We can't just "clock out" mentally, we have to show up and be amazing. It's extra fun because people have these crazy expectations of being "magical" that we have to continue to be "magical" because god forbid just being a normal person.

But we're not normal. We're entertainers. We sew smiles into our faces.

I feel like we're a bit old to be having this conversation, my dear adult-services-consumers, but magic isn't real. It's an illusion. I think the fact that things can be illusions is an amazing byproduct of experiencing life that may be confused with "magic", but that's just our brains being capable of such emotions. It's like watching a magic trick. Just because you know it's not "real magic" doesn't make it less brilliant. In fact, it's even more incredible because it relies on skills instead of midichlorians.

What makes a model "magical" isn't having a superhuman set of powers, but instead being able to handle the insane expectations people have of her having a superhuman set of powers.

 

[alex70]

It's the other way around for me. I've basically been camped in a Romanian model's room for the past year and it's got to the point where she's so sick of me that she can't even hide it anymore :icon-cry: . I've searched high and low on CB but I can't find anyone else with the same sort of magic.

 

[JessieWolfe]

I have never lost my magic.

Still ,to this day, when a member tries to dispose of me, I just turn him into a frog and force him to stay in my room forever.
:character-oldtimer:

 

[RainyDayGuy]

This actually touches on a greater subject that never really get's discussed... and maybe that's for the best but I'm going throw a Malatov cocktail into the pit.

Models are disposable, and members on the grand scale have a tendency to expect far more personal consideration than they will likely give the models in the long run. But even though it's a kind of sore subject that stings the heart feelers, us models accept this as part of the biz we're in.

Part of our job is making members feel appreciated, and we accomplish that usually by actually appreciating those members and becoming friends with them... however the day will come that the member bores of our entertainment and "changes the channel" so to speak. It's Ok, we are there to entertain and in the long run it's to be expected but it still really stings when we "lose our magic" to someone that we got very close with. Most models have learned to just move along from it, but it is a similar feeling to getting dumped by a friend in favor of someone new when the person has gotten close.

I'm not saying members do not deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, just maybe some members should stop and look how they have treated models as well before they start freaking out about being "treated like an ATM" (a gripe I see so commonly) ... and consider whether or not they treated those models like a free 3 month subscription to HBO?

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with either one... but if you expect more from people than you are willing to give, you are going to have a bad time.

It hurts my feelings when a member friend bores of me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. This thread is set up to be a constant reminder of that kind of heart wrenching reality none of us really want to think about I'm sure.

I'm scared to hit send but here goes!

Just to play devil's advocate, that street runs both ways. I agree there are lots of members, probably a large majority, that see models as disposable and don't ever give two shits about them as a person. There are also lots of models that see members the same way. And there are lots of models that get very upset if a member thinks there is any actual real connection between them. As a member, you learn pretty quick that models don't want you to see them as a real person, or at least the large majority don't. It's all a fantasy and none of it's real and all that jazz. Don't go actually caring about no models cuz then you're just a creepy stalker. Just tip your tokens and do your fapping. Hence the member burnout that some of us experience.

 

[JoleneBrody]

This actually touches on a greater subject that never really get's discussed... and maybe that's for the best but I'm going throw a Malatov cocktail into the pit.

Models are disposable, and members on the grand scale have a tendency to expect far more personal consideration than they will likely give the models in the long run. But even though it's a kind of sore subject that stings the heart feelers, us models accept this as part of the biz we're in.

Part of our job is making members feel appreciated, and we accomplish that usually by actually appreciating those members and becoming friends with them... however the day will come that the member bores of our entertainment and "changes the channel" so to speak. It's Ok, we are there to entertain and in the long run it's to be expected but it still really stings when we "lose our magic" to someone that we got very close with. Most models have learned to just move along from it, but it is a similar feeling to getting dumped by a friend in favor of someone new when the person has gotten close.

I'm not saying members do not deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, just maybe some members should stop and look how they have treated models as well before they start freaking out about being "treated like an ATM" (a gripe I see so commonly) ... and consider whether or not they treated those models like a free 3 month subscription to HBO?

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with either one... but if you expect more from people than you are willing to give, you are going to have a bad time.

It hurts my feelings when a member friend bores of me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. This thread is set up to be a constant reminder of that kind of heart wrenching reality none of us really want to think about I'm sure.

I'm scared to hit send but here goes!

Just to play devil's advocate, that street runs both ways. I agree there are lots of members, probably a large majority, that see models as disposable and don't ever give two shits about them as a person. There are also lots of models that see members the same way. And there are lots of models that get very upset if a member thinks there is any actual real connection between them. As a member, you learn pretty quick that models don't want you to see them as a real person, or at least the large majority don't. It's all a fantasy and none of it's real and all that jazz. Don't go actually caring about no models cuz then you're just a creepy stalker. Just tip your tokens and do your fapping. Hence the member burnout that some of us experience.

Edit cuz NM. Pointless.
Sorry to those who thanked.

 

[RainyDayGuy]

I apologize for coming off as jerky as I did in my previous post. I was in a bad mood when posting which is never a good idea. Better to post when drinking.

To try again, the point I was getting at was that as a member I feel that I'm not supposed to feel that there is a connection with a model because models don't want there to be any connection so I try my best not to feel any connection. Fuck, that sentence makes no sense. Too much beer. Fuck it.

 

[KudosKids]

I apologize for coming off as jerky as I did in my previous post. I was in a bad mood when posting which is never a good idea. Better to post when drinking.

To try again, the point I was getting at was that as a member I feel that I'm not supposed to feel that there is a connection with a model because models don't want there to be any connection so I try my best not to feel any connection. Fuck, that sentence makes no sense. Too much beer. Fuck it.

I don't think its that the models don't want to feel connected to there members. They just don't want there members to fall in love with them. A cam model can not be your girlfriend. But she can certainly be your friend. You don't have to have a love connection. Just a genuine desire to get to know each other more.

 

[RainyDayGuy]

I don't think its that the models don't want to feel connected to there members. They just don't want there members to fall in love with them. A cam model can not be your girlfriend. But she can certainly be your friend. You don't have to have a love connection. Just a genuine desire to get to know each other more.

Ugh. The assumption that I mean love connection when using the word connection is exactly the thing that I'm talking about. The assumption that I want a cam model to be my girlfriend if I show any interest in who she is as a person or a genuine desire to get to know her more is exactly what I'm talking about.

But anyway, I'll shutup now.

 

[JJasione]

I don't think its that the models don't want to feel connected to there members. They just don't want there members to fall in love with them. A cam model can not be your girlfriend. But she can certainly be your friend. You don't have to have a love connection. Just a genuine desire to get to know each other more.

Ugh. The assumption that I mean love connection when using the word connection is exactly the thing that I'm talking about. The assumption that I want a cam model to be my girlfriend if I show any interest in who she is as a person or a genuine desire to get to know her more is exactly what I'm talking about.

But anyway, I'll shutup now.

I personally prefer that kind of connection! I love getting to know members and it's lovely having made a few really great member friends on both sites I work, but I guess it depends on your cam style. And there always seems to be one member who takes it too far, not even necessarily in a "love" way, but in general, so I can completely see why other models brush off getting that personal with people. *You* may not be that member that takes it too far, but I think most models have had at least one and it's exhausting and risky trying to deal with it when it happens.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Models tend to lose their magic for me right after they have banned me.

:crybaby:

 

[mutantdonut]

Just to play devil's advocate, that street runs both ways. I agree there are lots of members, probably a large majority, that see models as disposable and don't ever give two shits about them as a person. There are also lots of models that see members the same way. And there are lots of models that get very upset if a member thinks there is any actual real connection between them. As a member, you learn pretty quick that models don't want you to see them as a real person, or at least the large majority don't. It's all a fantasy and none of it's real and all that jazz. Don't go actually caring about no models cuz then you're just a creepy stalker. Just tip your tokens and do your fapping. Hence the member burnout that some of us experience.

Although i don’t agree with everything said here, i believe there’s a point to be made from this...
Time to get ranty again...

The companionship element to camming can be one big contradiction. Since we’re talking about platonic attachments which, for many, goes hand-in-hand from camming even though online companionship is part of the job, albeit intrinsic nature of the job ...strong attachments end up being a side effect. Though, both sides should have a mutual consideration of both the angle of business and the all-too-real emotions involved.

All members should understand that this is first and foremost a model’s job. She does this to pay bills. She keeps her distance for professional and safety reasons. She also feels attachments toward her regulars as the vise versa is common. However, there’s a boundary used by all models, hopefully apparent to members knowing no matter how close the friendship, chances are it’ll mostly be confined to the internet. That might be a tough pill to swallow when there’s a desire to break away from those limitations. I believe it to be especially true for members when speaking upon the friendship feeling “incomplete” or “not altogether real,” even when models genuinely love their regulars. I mean, what a member wouldn’t give to have coffee with their favorite model, because guys sure as shit prefer something taking place in the real world. Also consider when the model retires or the member quits, does the friendship end? Does that mean out-of-sight-out-of-mind? Those are the contradictions, because reality. Companionship might be part of the entertainment, but it’s so much more complicated when it’s tug-oh-war between standards of professional versus personal. At that point, it’s no longer “just part of the job.”

~2 cents

 

[NataliaGrey]

I don't think its that the models don't want to feel connected to there members. They just don't want there members to fall in love with them. A cam model can not be your girlfriend. But she can certainly be your friend. You don't have to have a love connection. Just a genuine desire to get to know each other more.

Ugh. The assumption that I mean love connection when using the word connection is exactly the thing that I'm talking about. The assumption that I want a cam model to be my girlfriend if I show any interest in who she is as a person or a genuine desire to get to know her more is exactly what I'm talking about.

But anyway, I'll shutup now.

I think people are making that assumption because we can't see why you would have an issue otherwise. If you really just wanted friendship, then it shouldn't be so hard, because there are plenty of models who genuinely are interested in befriending their members. Even if they go into it without such intentions, it's pretty unlikely that she won't meet someone she really gets along with when she sees them online on a near daily basis. Tens, hundreds or even thousands of different members pass through a model's room on any given day, so statistically, she's going to make a couple friends.

I'm not saying that's the case, I believe you when you say you aren't looking for a love connection, I'm just saying how I saw the post and maybe others did too.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I see where RDG is coming from, even if I don't agree 100%. Camsites can be a fucking minefield as far as relationships and emotions and hurt feelings and everything else goes. For those on both sides of the camera.

For models, there's the potential to lose members who were something closer to friends than mere customers for reasons that must feel truly sucky - "I can't hang out with you any more 'cos I have more fun in your model friend's room", "I won't be stopping by any more because you made a business decision that I don't agree with", "I'm not gonna be a part of your room any more because you've let your looks go", "I'm leaving your room because you've got a boyfriend now and it just feels weird", etc. etc. etc. There are the members who never cared for the model to begin with and were just there for whatever free content/shows they could get, the guys who were only there because they thought if they tipped enough tokens the model would have sex with them eventually, the members who never intended to stick around for long but were generous and cool enough to be missed when they moved on, even the guys who will only stick around until a particular model "loses her magic". And that's assuming the member doesn't just stop turning up one day. I'm sure all that stuff stings.

For members, if they're not careful, it's just as easy to wind up with hurt feelings. I think, as a member, if you're gonna make regular use of cams, you have to accept early on that thinking about models in romantic terms is the most counter-productive thing you can do. You won't enjoy yourself, you'll piss off the model, you'll wind up bitter and jaded and you'll become one of those guys who rock up here every once in a while declaring all cam girls to be sluts and whores and massive poo-poo faces.

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

If you can accept all that though, camland can be an amazing place, and you can enjoy yourself a great deal, building relationships... unique relationships subject to many terms and conditions that don't apply to real-world friendships, but relationships nonetheless... with some truly wonderful people that you never would have otherwise had the pleasure of meeting, much less spending time with :twocents-02cents:

 

[Fay_Galore]

I see where RDG is coming from, even if I don't agree 100%. Camsites can be a fucking minefield as far as relationships and emotions and hurt feelings and everything else goes. For those on both sides of the camera.

For models, there's the potential to lose members who were something closer to friends than mere customers for reasons that must feel truly sucky - "I can't hang out with you any more 'cos I have more fun in your model friend's room", "I won't be stopping by any more because you made a business decision that I don't agree with", "I'm not gonna be a part of your room any more because you've let your looks go", "I'm leaving your room because you've got a boyfriend now and it just feels weird", etc. etc. etc. There are the members who never cared for the model to begin with and were just there for whatever free content/shows they could get, the guys who were only there because they thought if they tipped enough tokens the model would have sex with them eventually, the members who never intended to stick around for long but were generous and cool enough to be missed when they moved on, even the guys who will only stick around until a particular model "loses her magic". And that's assuming the member doesn't just stop turning up one day. I'm sure all that stuff stings.

For members, if they're not careful, it's just as easy to wind up with hurt feelings. I think, as a member, if you're gonna make regular use of cams, you have to accept early on that thinking about models in romantic terms is the most counter-productive thing you can do. You won't enjoy yourself, you'll piss off the model, you'll wind up bitter and jaded and you'll become one of those guys who rock up here every once in a while declaring all cam girls to be sluts and whores and massive poo-poo faces.

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

If you can accept all that though, camland can be an amazing place, and you can enjoy yourself a great deal, building relationships... unique relationships subject to many terms and conditions that don't apply to real-world friendships, but relationships nonetheless... with some truly wonderful people that you never would have otherwise had the pleasure of meeting, much less spending time with :twocents-02cents:

This is a very bleak view on camland friendships, I understand and partially agree but I'm going to pick out a particular thing anyway:

You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there.

When I read this it sort of aggregated me, you're sort of right: I don't think anyone would jump through all the hoops of logging into a camsite (doing hair, make-up, having a plan, coming up with a topic, arranging lights, picking an outfit and whatnot) and being online (dealing with dropping camscore, annoying members, trolls) JUST for a friend-member. because, no, that's not worth it, but that's really not a fair comparison, for you guys it's a lot easier to log into MFC and you're not constantly on the spot if you're there.
However, I'm convinced models with close camland friends will totally be up for other means of communication. (MFC pms, twitter DMs, snapchat, texting, even skype hang-outs, not for tokens, just for fun. )

 

[mynameisbob84]

I see where RDG is coming from, even if I don't agree 100%. Camsites can be a fucking minefield as far as relationships and emotions and hurt feelings and everything else goes. For those on both sides of the camera.

For models, there's the potential to lose members who were something closer to friends than mere customers for reasons that must feel truly sucky - "I can't hang out with you any more 'cos I have more fun in your model friend's room", "I won't be stopping by any more because you made a business decision that I don't agree with", "I'm not gonna be a part of your room any more because you've let your looks go", "I'm leaving your room because you've got a boyfriend now and it just feels weird", etc. etc. etc. There are the members who never cared for the model to begin with and were just there for whatever free content/shows they could get, the guys who were only there because they thought if they tipped enough tokens the model would have sex with them eventually, the members who never intended to stick around for long but were generous and cool enough to be missed when they moved on, even the guys who will only stick around until a particular model "loses her magic". And that's assuming the member doesn't just stop turning up one day. I'm sure all that stuff stings.

For members, if they're not careful, it's just as easy to wind up with hurt feelings. I think, as a member, if you're gonna make regular use of cams, you have to accept early on that thinking about models in romantic terms is the most counter-productive thing you can do. You won't enjoy yourself, you'll piss off the model, you'll wind up bitter and jaded and you'll become one of those guys who rock up here every once in a while declaring all cam girls to be sluts and whores and massive poo-poo faces.

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

If you can accept all that though, camland can be an amazing place, and you can enjoy yourself a great deal, building relationships... unique relationships subject to many terms and conditions that don't apply to real-world friendships, but relationships nonetheless... with some truly wonderful people that you never would have otherwise had the pleasure of meeting, much less spending time with :twocents-02cents:

This is a very bleak view on camland friendships, I understand and partially agree but I'm going to pick out a particular thing anyway:

You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there.

When I read this it sort of aggregated me, you're sort of right: I don't think anyone would jump through all the hoops of logging into a camsite (doing hair, make-up, having a plan, coming up with a topic, arranging lights, picking an outfit and whatnot) and being online (dealing with dropping camscore, annoying members, trolls) JUST for a friend-member. because, no, that's not worth it, but that's really not a fair comparison, for you guys it's a lot easier to log into MFC and you're not constantly on the spot if you're there.
However, I'm convinced models with close camland friends will totally be up for other means of communication. (MFC pms, twitter DMs, snapchat, texting, even skype hang-outs, not for tokens, just for fun. )

Well, I'm speaking in generalities and this stuff obviously doesn't apply to every model and every member so please don't take any of it personally! And I accept your point about it being easier for members to log on than models. My overall point is simply that it's easy to wind up with hurt feelings in camland (for models and members) and that one way to become butthurt early on is to assume that model/member relationships work the same way as real-world relationships. They don't because they can't :twocents-02cents:

 

[mutantdonut]

This is a very bleak view on camland friendships, )

It's the jar half-empty take, so yea quite bleak indeed
For members gotta accept the reality that camming friendships most often hit a glass ceiling, that model-member hangouts in person are a huge rarity.

Though there’s members who have a blurred sense of where the boundaries are, who believe they can somehow get a model to meet with them, will be severely disappointed. To what Bob indicated, it’s best that members take what camming truly is, instead of forcing what it’s not meant to be, and those members should do fine.

 

[ACFFAN69]

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

I must admit, I've read alot of your posts and I've always agreed 100% with what you say. Every time you post, you eloquently are able to put into words exactly my thoughts on the subject. I'm relatively new to the camming world but the deeper I get, the more respect I gain for how difficult a career choice cam modeling is. I admit when I first joined I thought it sounded like the easiest job ever, but now I see so many aspects/problems they run into which makes me understand how big of a burnout rate there is.

The fact of the matter is, even if you and the model match well as friends, a member should be cognoscente of the fact that through no fault of her own, it is entirely in her best interest to keep the friendship to the site only. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend or wouldn't be in a different situation, but to be professional and successful she shouldn't let the friendship blossom further. Hopefully the member is able to accept and respect that, and continue to tip to help out someone he respects and enjoys, rather then delve into questioning if she is only a "friend" because he tips.

I suppose it's quite similar to the problem therapists and psychologists have when they become close to their patient. It's just the nature of the beast that is camming.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

I must admit, I've read alot of your posts and I've always agreed 100% with what you say. Every time you post, you eloquently are able to put into words exactly my thoughts on the subject. I'm relatively new to the camming world but the deeper I get, the more respect I gain for how difficult a career choice cam modeling is. I admit when I first joined I thought it sounded like the easiest job ever, but now I see so many aspects/problems they run into which makes me understand how big of a burnout rate there is.

The fact of the matter is, even if you and the model match well as friends, a member should be cognoscente of the fact that through no fault of her own, it is entirely in her best interest to keep the friendship to the site only. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend or wouldn't be in a different situation, but to be professional and successful she shouldn't let the friendship blossom further. Hopefully the member is able to accept and respect that, and continue to tip to help out someone he respects and enjoys, rather then delve into questioning if she is only a "friend" because he tips.

I suppose it's quite similar to the problem therapists and psychologists have when they become close to their patient. It's just the nature of the beast that is camming.

I wish all members could understand camming the way that it sounds like you two do.

 

[Leon_Omega]

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

I must admit, I've read alot of your posts and I've always agreed 100% with what you say. Every time you post, you eloquently are able to put into words exactly my thoughts on the subject. I'm relatively new to the camming world but the deeper I get, the more respect I gain for how difficult a career choice cam modeling is. I admit when I first joined I thought it sounded like the easiest job ever, but now I see so many aspects/problems they run into which makes me understand how big of a burnout rate there is.

The fact of the matter is, even if you and the model match well as friends, a member should be cognoscente of the fact that through no fault of her own, it is entirely in her best interest to keep the friendship to the site only. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend or wouldn't be in a different situation, but to be professional and successful she shouldn't let the friendship blossom further. Hopefully the member is able to accept and respect that, and continue to tip to help out someone he respects and enjoys, rather then delve into questioning if she is only a "friend" because he tips.

I suppose it's quite similar to the problem therapists and psychologists have when they become close to their patient. It's just the nature of the beast that is camming.

I wish all members could understand camming the way that it sounds like you two do.

Yeah, that would be nice, I guess we'll just have to live with being the odd men out

For what it's worth, though, I don't really get the vibe that a lot of members think that models are only friendly to them because they tip. They're out there, but the members who think this are the usually the ones who populate the various lounges and really wouldn't be interested in a model beyond her room. As someone who has quite a bit of interaction with a few of you lovely ladies outside of your own cam rooms, I can say that that interaction seems to sooner make me want to support them more rather than less. It's a bit similar to, say, Marian Call and Scott Barkan - both musicians whom I've met a few times and would say that I have a deeper connection with than just artist and fan, and I really feel that that fact only makes me want to support them more. Camming is much the same for me, if I like seeing a camgirl, it would be in my best interests to be an active part of her room, which includes tipping. I don't really get a "buying friendship" vibe from it, though, it just seems like the right thing to do.

 

[AmberCutie]

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

I must admit, I've read alot of your posts and I've always agreed 100% with what you say. Every time you post, you eloquently are able to put into words exactly my thoughts on the subject. I'm relatively new to the camming world but the deeper I get, the more respect I gain for how difficult a career choice cam modeling is. I admit when I first joined I thought it sounded like the easiest job ever, but now I see so many aspects/problems they run into which makes me understand how big of a burnout rate there is.

The fact of the matter is, even if you and the model match well as friends, a member should be cognoscente of the fact that through no fault of her own, it is entirely in her best interest to keep the friendship to the site only. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend or wouldn't be in a different situation, but to be professional and successful she shouldn't let the friendship blossom further. Hopefully the member is able to accept and respect that, and continue to tip to help out someone he respects and enjoys, rather then delve into questioning if she is only a "friend" because he tips.

I suppose it's quite similar to the problem therapists and psychologists have when they become close to their patient. It's just the nature of the beast that is camming.

I wish all members could understand camming the way that it sounds like you two do.

Yeah, that would be nice, I guess we'll just have to live with being the odd men out

For what it's worth, though, I don't really get the vibe that a lot of members think that models are only friendly to them because they tip. They're out there, but the members who think this are the usually the ones who populate the various lounges and really wouldn't be interested in a model beyond her room. As someone who has quite a bit of interaction with a few of you lovely ladies outside of your own cam rooms, I can say that that interaction seems to sooner make me want to support them more rather than less. It's a bit similar to, say, Marian Call and Scott Barkan - both musicians whom I've met a few times and would say that I have a deeper connection with than just artist and fan, and I really feel that that fact only makes me want to support them more. Camming is much the same for me, if I like seeing a camgirl, it would be in my best interests to be an active part of her room, which includes tipping. I don't really get a "buying friendship" vibe from it, though, it just seems like the right thing to do.

If the subject comes up, I normally say something along the lines of "you don't have to spend money on me to be my friend, but it sure helps get my attention to start with." Which is very true in this line of work. I adore the hell out of my regulars, and some of them aren't able to spend much, if any, on me frequently these days. But they initially got my attention by showing a level of respect and appreciation and support for what I do by tipping, some of them very generously. It helps set the encounter off on the right foot.

Of course it's possible to get in tight with a girl without tipping, but in a room with others whom have already established a place among her regulars, and among those whom are tipping generously, it may take some effort to stand out in a good way.

And of course if those who get close to us in that friendly yet professional way continue to tip and support when they can, it does guarantee we're able to be around longer each shift as well as in the long-run. Which seems like a win/win to both the cam girl and the member.

 

[ACFFAN69]

I think you also have to adjust your expectations for any "friendships" that you feel you've forged accordingly. You have to accept that even if a model appreciates your company, she almost certainly appreciates your tokens more (that sounds mean but it's not intended to. I'm not trying to paint models as money-grubbing bitches, I just recognise that this is a job for them and not just a place to hang out and chat with people). You have to accept that no matter what you feel comfortable sharing with her, she probably won't feel comfortable sharing her real name with you, let alone her intimate secrets. You have to accept that while you may be logging on each night specifically to see her, she's not logging on to see you, even if she is glad you're there. You have to accept that you'll almost certainly never get to hang out with her in real life, be introduced to her friends or get to introduce her to yours. You have to accept that any relationship you have with a model will be subject to her terms, and that paying for her company will likely always be a part of that.

I must admit, I've read alot of your posts and I've always agreed 100% with what you say. Every time you post, you eloquently are able to put into words exactly my thoughts on the subject. I'm relatively new to the camming world but the deeper I get, the more respect I gain for how difficult a career choice cam modeling is. I admit when I first joined I thought it sounded like the easiest job ever, but now I see so many aspects/problems they run into which makes me understand how big of a burnout rate there is.

The fact of the matter is, even if you and the model match well as friends, a member should be cognoscente of the fact that through no fault of her own, it is entirely in her best interest to keep the friendship to the site only. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend or wouldn't be in a different situation, but to be professional and successful she shouldn't let the friendship blossom further. Hopefully the member is able to accept and respect that, and continue to tip to help out someone he respects and enjoys, rather then delve into questioning if she is only a "friend" because he tips.

I suppose it's quite similar to the problem therapists and psychologists have when they become close to their patient. It's just the nature of the beast that is camming.

I wish all members could understand camming the way that it sounds like you two do.

Yeah, that would be nice, I guess we'll just have to live with being the odd men out

For what it's worth, though, I don't really get the vibe that a lot of members think that models are only friendly to them because they tip. They're out there, but the members who think this are the usually the ones who populate the various lounges and really wouldn't be interested in a model beyond her room. As someone who has quite a bit of interaction with a few of you lovely ladies outside of your own cam rooms, I can say that that interaction seems to sooner make me want to support them more rather than less. It's a bit similar to, say, Marian Call and Scott Barkan - both musicians whom I've met a few times and would say that I have a deeper connection with than just artist and fan, and I really feel that that fact only makes me want to support them more. Camming is much the same for me, if I like seeing a camgirl, it would be in my best interests to be an active part of her room, which includes tipping. I don't really get a "buying friendship" vibe from it, though, it just seems like the right thing to do.

My apologies for being unclear, I do not believe that members start out thinking "I can buy a models friendship", I think what occurs is that the member joins, appreciates the effort/work/show that the model provides, becomes a regular to the room, then begins to feel a friendship to the girl. After this occurs, the logical progression of thought makes you question what kind of "friendship" can exist between a model and member. My conclusions seem to have matched "mynameisbob84", in that it may be a "Friendship" but just the nature of member/model relationship means it is at best a "professional friendship", and members should keep that in mind.

My post was a reference to members that fail to keep in mind that this is a business for the model (as mynameisbob84's post seemed to be directed at), thus not directed at a member like yourself. I suspect there are quiet a few members that fail to realize this based off some of the bitter posts you occasionally see on this forum alone. In the room I am a regular in, I see quite a few that I am sure have lost sight of this fact. Interestingly enough, I often see a correlation with this view and how little the regular tips. I often wonder if it is because some members feel they can tip less because they are "friends" with the model. Of course my study is far from scientific and I don't have the numbers down

 

[Ambers Troll]

This is a very bleak view on camland friendships, )

It's the jar half-empty take, so yea quite bleak indeed
For members gotta accept the reality that camming friendships most often hit a glass ceiling.

Bob84's post was pretty bleak, hitting that ceiling for friendship will always hurt, even if it is purely social/ non-romantic in nature.
Regular members are as guilty of not caring for the friendships they want to maintain as models. We have less excuse when we remove ourselves from a friend.

My experience of model/ member friendships was unusual for a member. I was never, in my whole time camming, anyones regular. I looked for it after that initial exploration period, but then gave up on the idea. Even if I had, my schedule meant I was on cam any time of day/ night, so some models I would not get to see for a week or three.
My initial years were also directed towards a personal goal. I was using my exploration period, actually put aside savings towards it, to discover something about myself. I never looked for friendship, but was looking to be affected (this is the difference between porn/ watching content and real camming), it was a place I needed to go to discover what I needed to.
In the end I found a few friendships anyway, even before camming got so social. If you are paying attention to others it is bound to happen at some point.
There are some amazing people to meet out there, member and model.

Camming as member or model is not for emotional cowards, it will test you that way. This is something special to models in general, they tend to have an emotional security rare in other women. I would assume many long term members develop this too.
Keeping this in mind and that friendships either grow or die, most model/ member friendships are ultimately doomed. I still think they are worth it, and can feel magic, but they are for mature people when it comes to camming. Hitting that ceiling does hurt and will happen a few times for most of us.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Bob84's post was pretty bleak, hitting that ceiling for friendship will always hurt, even if it is purely social/ non-romantic in nature.

I wasn't necessarily trying to illustrate a ceiling for camgirl/member relationships or paint them as bleak endeavours. I was more trying to point out that there are fundamental differences between conventional friendships and friendships that exist online in general and in camland in particular. It's not that conventional friendships can't/won't blossom there, there are just a lot of stumbling blocks that it pays to be weary of.

If a member were to think "SteamyMcJugs and I are pretty friendly now, maybe I don't have to tip her any longer. I don't have to pay any of my IRL friends for their company after all", it likely isn't going to end well.

If a member were to think "TitFlopper4U confided in me yesterday, and we're friends now, and she knows my name and where I live, so I'm probably not being unreasonable in wanting to know her real name and her address, just in case we're ever in the same neighbourhood", it's inevitably going to weird the model out, putting a strain on the relationship and leading the member to bitterly question whether any of it was ever "real" to begin with.

If a member were to think "CoinOperatedCunt" really seems to like talking to me when I'm in her room, we should probably swap numbers so that we can talk whenever, like I do with all my IRL friends" again, it's probably not gonna go as the member hoped.

I'm not saying that model/member relationships have to revolve around tokens, that members and models can't meet up in real life and get to know each other outside of cams, that models and members can't spend all day every day talking on the phone with one another... just that nine times out of ten, that's not going to be the case. And as a member, if you go into things expecting any of that to happen, because that's how conventional friendships work out in the real world, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment :twocents-02cents: