AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!

If you were given a chance to start over....

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Sep 1, 2013
65
61
21
Would you still choose to be a webcam model? If you would not..would you have done anything differently? I'm not passing any judgement here whatsoever, just genuinely curious.

The above question is directed at models, but I'm also interested to know for members if given the chance to start over, would you have entered into this realm of digital sex?

For me, I wish I had not found out about this. Not only is it addicting as well as time and money sapping, but I feel that I have become somewhat desensitized to sex and porn somewhat, and that can't be good for my real life and dating in future.
 
I only wish I could have started camming earlier, as opposed to 26. I'd have no debts whatsoever by now. I wish I had found this forum earlier, too.

Camming's helped me embrace parts of my sexuality I didn't know I had. It's helped me reach out to strangers and friends about sexual hangups and worries. I've become the go-to person in my social circles when it comes to issues in the bedroom. I've connected with some fantastic people that I never would have encountered if not for camming and this forum. I've become happier with my body and embraced my personality. I've honed my smartass skills. Camming's boosted my self-confidence, while lowering the amount of fucks I give. I'm so much more equipped to take on life's challenges because of this job. I've even become way more open-minded and less judgmental because of it, too.

So, yeah, if I had the choice, I'd do it all again. Only better and earlier on.
 
I wish I'd started when I was 18, I lived with my mother, but as she had a second house which she spent most of her time at I pretty much had a big beautiful house rent free all to myself. If I'd started camming back then I'd have earned a lot of money, I was a massive saver back then, I've never been a big spender on clothes etc so most of my money ends up on bills now, back then being able to save a few grand a month... I can't even imagine just how much I'd have saved.

If I'd been able to do it while at uni I doubt I'd have got as lonely, there were so many nights where I would sit at my laptop not able to sleep wishing for someone to talk to... Camming back then would have been the perfect solution. And again, I had a big room, internet connection, no parents around and no rent or bills to pay. Student loans were more than enough for me to live by so the savings I'd have made would have been amazing.

When I started camming I wish I had learned more about it first. I wish I'd studied other girls, had joined ACF and researched new model mistakes and such. I started with no idea what to expect, I just logged on. I had assumed it'd be mostly private shows. I'd read the entire wiki sure, but it hadn't let me know much of the nature of members. My camscore fortunately never went down, but I think if I had started right I would have been able to get my camscore up to higher than it is now, and hopefully would have been able to make it stay up there.
Before coming to ACF, mfc was a much darker lonelier place. So I definitely wish that when a guy directed me to ACF when I started camming I'd done more than have a quick look at the forum without making an account. At the time I had no idea what was in the models only section, it just seemed to be a chat forum. If I'd known just how much info there'd be available... well, I hope I'd have signed up instantly.

I don't currently regret starting camming at all. I only wish I'd started sooner, and then I wouldn't be living from paycheque to paycheque and feeling like I have to cam, rather than camming just when I want to cam. Camming for me has helped me a lot with my own personal issues. Before I started camming I suffered from PTSD, depression and I was a sex addict. I no longer suffer from any of those things, and although I don't think it's all down to camming, I think camming really helped me step in the right directions and have enough confidence in myself that getting my head straight came with it.
 
Gerien said:
The above question is directed at models, but I'm also interested to know for members if given the chance to start over, would you have entered into this realm of digital sex?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fuck yes. That's where the boobies are.
 
I wish i had found it at 18.... i would have been rich now...
It would be perfect if i could make $500 and $700 per day at the age of 18 as i can do now.
I was a poor poor girl before caming...
 
LMAO! I wonder if that's the answer Gerien was looking for?

I'm also on the "I would have started this when I was 18" band-wagon.

Gerien said:
For me, I wish I had not found out about this. Not only is it addicting as well as time and money sapping, but I feel that I have become somewhat desensitized to sex and porn somewhat, and that can't be good for my real life and dating in future.

As much as I want to say something else, I'll be civil. As far as the time and money sapping, that's all your fault. The camming world doesn't force you to sit there and watch, or to spend all your money. You need to take care of yourself and set boundaries for yourself. It's not camming, it's you. You're letting yourself be consumed by something that you enjoy, but later you get remorseful and upset that you spent so much time and money there. Well, why don't you stop?

Shit, I just realized I do this, too! I do this with stupid cell phone games. I spend way more time than I should, and even though I enjoy it while I'm playing, I feel shitty and unproductive afterward. And that's my fault. Not the game's.

If you feel like camland isn't the right place for you, then stop spending your time and money here and find something else to consume your extra time that you don't regret later.

I really hope that came off as civil and not offensive. xD I am having some awful mood swings right now. :lol:

I'm gonna go play some Bejeweled on my phone now. :lol:
 
I think for any members if you feel that watching camsites is negatively effecting your life at all: QUIT! NOW! and never come back.

Camsites can be amazing things, they can keep people positive, help with confidence, loneliness, all sorts of things. But they can also be dangerous. Camsites should be kind of like a dress rehearsal for a play/band, fun, way less pressure, useful, but at the end of the day it's not the main show.

I have found the healthiest way people have approached camsites is when they're between relationships, or those who work a lot. For those who are single/just out of relationships, perhaps your self esteem is a little low, feeling lonely and horny maybe but not ready to get out there and start dating. Visiting camgirls at this point can help raise self esteem and stop members rushing out there too fast. What members should be careful about is not letting the camworld stop them from going back into the real world.
For those who work a lot, either they have relationships but they have to be away at work a lot, which causes loneliness and boredom, or they're too busy for relationships. In this case, well, why not? .

When camsites become unhealthy are when you're having real trouble dating in the real world, but very much want to date someone and settle down. If you feel this way then camsites are not for you.
If you can't help but spend more money than you have on girls: You should probably leave camsites.
If you're a sex/porn addict.
If you're looking for something cheaper than a prostitute.
If you can't afford to tip yet are looking for friends.
If it is causing you to no longer be as interested in real life girls.
If you find you're getting overly attached to certain girls, to the point it's effecting your real life.

If you're lonely and have been single for a long time for whatever reasons, or even married but in a fairly settled situation, and hold no hopes of actually dating camgirls then camsites can simply ease with the loneliness. Kind of like taking painkillers for loneliness. It doesn't cure it, but it can help. For those things I think camsites are a good thing.
Of course for members who have fetishes/sexual desires that can't usually be satisfied then camsites make a lot of sense. As much as interactive porn is great, and for many they much prefer it... I wonder how healthy it is for some... Does it take away some of the excitements of sex because it simulates something much closer to sex? There was once a day when seeing a girls ankle were enough to get a man off. I wish in loads of ways that I had know what sex was like in a time when I'd never seen a mans naked body. Imagine how amazing that'd be? Looking at boobs and porn is awesome, but is it kind of like if you eat cake all the time, as much as the cake still tastes good, it doesn't taste nearly as good as if you eat really healthily and do exercise and then get a taste of cake! I think it's worth the effort of not giving in and binging, which essentially is what we do when we watch lots of porn/camgirls. We're binging on sex.
Bit of a different discussion though...

I like the computer game analogy, it's exactly the reason I don't play computer games very often. I get very sucked into them and cannot stop playing. But I also do this with ACF, like today, I've spent the last 2 hours on ACF and I only meant to be about 10 minutes. I haven't noticed the time go.

My advice to members who feel they've spent too much money and not really got much out of it: leave camsites and move on. You clearly enjoyed it at the time so stop having buyers remorse. Just like if you buy a take-away and eat it, after it's finished you may regret both eating and spending money on it while you feel bloated and tired, but you wanted it when you were hungry. So learn from your lesson and try not to break next time you're hungry, or if you do, take it at face value. Accept that everything comes with a price, and that is often more than financial, then decide whether you're willing to pay it. Once you have, move on.
 
Jillybean said:
I'm gonna go play some Bejeweled on my phone now. :lol:

Thank goodness you didn't say Candy Crush Saga. God I hate that game. Stupid level 29. :angry4:
 
JerryBoBerry said:
Jillybean said:
I'm gonna go play some Bejeweled on my phone now. :lol:

Thank goodness you didn't say Candy Crush Saga. God I hate that game. Stupid level 29. :angry4:

I'm at level 289.... This may or may not be related to less time on cam lately....
 
JerryBoBerry said:
Jillybean said:
I'm gonna go play some Bejeweled on my phone now. :lol:

Thank goodness you didn't say Candy Crush Saga. God I hate that game. Stupid level 29. :angry4:
I JUST BEAT LEVEL 29 LAST NIIIIGHT!!!!! :dance:
after like, 2 weeks of trying... heh..
 
I started camming when I was 18.
If I could turn back time but still have all the knowledge I have now, or at least studied more before jumping in, I would have been SO SO set! :woops: :lol:

My only regret is not getting a better/smarter start.
 
CharlotteLace said:
I only wish I could have started camming earlier. I wish I had found this forum earlier, too.

Camming's helped me embrace parts of my sexuality I didn't know I had. It's helped me reach out to strangers and friends about sexual hangups and worries. I've become the go-to person in my social circles when it comes to issues in the bedroom. I've connected with some fantastic people that I never would have encountered if not for camming and this forum. I've become happier with my body and embraced my personality. I've honed my smartass skills. Camming's boosted my self-confidence, while lowering the amount of fucks I give. I'm so much more equipped to take on life's challenges because of this job. I've even become way more open-minded and less judgmental because of it, too.

So, yeah, if I had the choice, I'd do it all again. Only better and earlier on.

YES, ditto to everything that CharlotteLace said! :) :thumbleft:
 
Thanks for all your replies!

Jillybean said:
LMAO! I wonder if that's the answer Gerien was looking for?

It's certainly interesting to see that the consensus seems to be the regret of not starting earlier or acquiring more knowledge before starting. I wonder though if things would have been different if you start earlier, say @ 18. The level of maturity at 18 and say 21, both physically and mentally, might cause one to view things very differently, especially in a job as socially demanding as camming. I do admit, I was expecting some negative views on camming, maybe cause I do see them from my perspective, but you know what? Its great that models have such an upbeat and positive outlook about camming, as it will inevitably lead to better experiences for both members and models alike.

Isabella_deL said:
When camsites become unhealthy are when you're having real trouble dating in the real world, but very much want to date someone and settle down. If you feel this way then camsites are not for you.
If you can't help but spend more money than you have on girls: You should probably leave camsites.
If you're a sex/porn addict.
If you're looking for something cheaper than a prostitute.
If you can't afford to tip yet are looking for friends.
If it is causing you to no longer be as interested in real life girls.
If you find you're getting overly attached to certain girls, to the point it's effecting your real life.

I do certainly fit in one or maybe two of that criteria :) I have to clarify though that although I mentioned that I have splurged on camsites, I have never spent beyond my means, and camsite addiction is like any other addiction like drugs, alcohol or sex, it is just to indulge in our hedonistic side or to escape from reality. For those familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality test, I am a strong INTJ (Introvert-intuition-thinking-judging). I also have mild social anxiety disorder, and my rationale for visiting camsites was to have a fun, NSA time and at the same time feel at ease interacting with the fairer sex. Things never turn out the way you want them to, do they? (Damn Murphy's law). Anyway I got emotionally attached to a girl and you know where this leads to... so there you go. I probably should quit camsites :-D

But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:
 
Gerien said:
But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:


That's an interesting perspective. I've always viewed porn as helpful for me and my relationship (new ideas and scenarios). Personally, camming has improved my sex life and opened me up to new ideas and kinks. SO many of us girls find camming legitimately empowering, and that often translates to more confidence in the bedroom. But I could definitely see how guys' perspectives could be skewed after camland. I mean, what do you do if your new girlfriend doesn't like anal? It's not as easy to click "next model" in real life.

I think you raise a lot of fair points, Gerien. I haven't thought so much about how it could negatively affect guys and their real-life expectations. :think:
 
:oops: On the topic of Candy Crush Saga... That game is the reason I bought Bejeweled and Puzzle Quest. I hate microtransactions with a passion. I believe in paying for your entertainment, but I prefer to pay all at once for video games, instead of paying for a few lives here, or a few levels here.

I quit on level 45 haha.

And Gerien, I know what you mean about it spoiling your views about sex and relationships, but the thing of it is... And I'm really sorry about ruining anyone's fantasies :lol:... No girl is perfect. Not even the most beautiful camgirl you can think of.

The sooner you stop comparing prospective partners to camgirls the better. They are two completely separate worlds. :) And don't worry-you're not alone. I have heard tons of guys complain that they're disappointed with the dating pool. "Why can't I meet a girl like you?" There are tons of guys who assume that the way I am on cam is my complete and total personality. Although I am myself on cam, I am super considerate of what the guys are there for. When I'm dating someone, I'm not as considerate of them, because I feel they should also be considerate of me. It's different. And I'm doing an awful job at explaining what I'm trying to say.

Well any way, I am not the way I am on cam all the time. I am nice, and bubbly on cam, and never sad, or angry, or upset. I don't complain on cam. But dammit when that cam is off and I'm losing at a game and the roommate hasn't mowed the lawn and the cats are fighting, I'm a raging lunatic! :p

So to these guys asking, "Where can I find a girl like you?" Well, you can't. Because I'm not even like my cam persona all the time.
 
I wish I found out about cammodel world earlier. I started at 23 and I wish I was 20. :-D
Not 18 though - I was an awkward geek with huge boobs who didn't know what mascara is. I was also raised by the interwebses and older geek guy-friends so I had a very wrong impression that all good-looking women are dumb and only good for sex (more fap than sex - we are talking about geeks here). So I never wanted to be sexy.
 
Oh I totally wish I would have started sooner. I started on my 19th birthday but if I could, I would have started at 18. Would have helped me move out of my parents' sooner, get a better house and I would have had a nice bit of savings set aside by now seeing as I didn't get any pets until I was almost 20 and then didn't have my kid until this year. Yea, I would have had a lot more money set aside, lol.
 
If I could start over? I would have planned more carefully about my image online and studied harder about camgirl success.

I wouldn't start earlier. I went through some really tough jobs and situations before I started camming, and I feel like those developed my character in ways I wouldn't ever give up.
 
I have thought a few times that if I started camming younger, although I was very mature for my age, I might not have been mentally stable enough for it. But then camming made me so much more mentally stable, so I think it would have helped me.
I was a different person back then though, and I had a different look, so the members I'd have attracted and kept would have been very different. I think I might have been considerably more successful though if I'd started at more like 19.

As to the topic of how members find dating/real relationships after watching camgirls... this is a subject I find very interesting but also I think it's one of the worst parts of both camming and porn. In the Uk we get "lads mags", which consist of boobs, cars, gadgets etc, pretty much everything that fits the stereotypical male type. They are things that children will often have access to, as they're not considered porn. I have noticed out of men I know the kind of guys who read these types of magazines and have been exposed to them for longer have very unrealistic views of both women and men. I think they're extremely unhealthy because they tell readers that men should be a certain way and like certain things, and women should be sexy nympho's with big, natural jugs.

Camgirls I think can give the same unhealthy idea of what women should be like. The men get to choose us, being 100% in control, and rather than having to put real work and effort into befriending and getting to know us, they just have to tip instead, and we'll give them attention. We generally aren't angry, grumpy, bitchy etc. And if we are, it's generally minimised to what it would be in real life. We usually come on cam in full make up (even when we say we're natural and ill). We'll get naked and act like we have crazy sexual appetites (even when we don't), and mostly are willing to do things like anal, which many real life women aren't. You get to tell us what to do, what you like. You can want a close relationship yet also expect and want us to be professional when dealing with things you want. It's the best of both worlds. You can then imagine whatever you want to about her real life. Make up your perfect fantasy.

I can understand how starting to date real life women after that might seem strange. I also think for many it's difficult for them to let go of their cam life and friends once they get into real relationships. If it were me and I got involved with someone, just like I wouldn't appreciate them constantly speaking to their ex fuck buddy/girlfriend, I think from a members standpoint although it's different, feelings wise it's not all that different. Here is a beautiful girl you got to know because you found her particularly attractive. Enough to spend money on her and a lot of time watching her, you formed a relationship with her, although not physical and probably not reciprocated by her in the same way you feel, but all the same, the member would be having certain feelings. I believe continuing a cam friendship/continuing visiting Mfc once you've got into a relationship is similar to continuing to see someone else after you've got into a relationship. You haven't changed a relationship at all. And it is different than if you occasionally went to Mfc to wank. I mean people who are emotionally involved with a camgirl. If they no longer went to the girls camroom and she wanted to keep contact then occasional updates are cool, but I do think it's a tricky area. I think members should pick reality over fantasy, as much as it hurts when members leave me, I'd leave them for my real life without question. It'd be upsetting, but of course I'd do it.
 
I have met so many nice people, that I would of course do things the same. I would even visit that one model Jupiter always brings up. She was really hot, and I had lots of fun in the beginning.
 
CammiStar said:
This is such a broad question..

Start over? If I could start over, I would have spent less time partying when I was a teenager and gone to school and pursued a degree. But I didn't and at 37 I am trying to do that now. I LOVE the flexibility and freedom camming allows me, but I worry about longevity since I am nearly 40. .
This is what I expect will happen to a lot of models. They might not regret anything now but they will wish they had opened up more opportunities when they were younger. Good luck getting any 20 something to admitting to regretting anything.

No regrets as a member. I have self control so I don't see mfc as addicting. I don't feel it has desensitized me at all either. If anything I honestly feel that it's good for my relationship.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LadyLuna
PunkInDrublic said:
CammiStar said:
This is such a broad question..

Start over? If I could start over, I would have spent less time partying when I was a teenager and gone to school and pursued a degree. But I didn't and at 37 I am trying to do that now. I LOVE the flexibility and freedom camming allows me, but I worry about longevity since I am nearly 40. .
This is what I expect will happen to a lot of models. They might not regret anything now but they will wish they had opened up more opportunities when they were younger. Good luck getting any 20 something to admitting to regretting anything.

I would guess a lot of people, models or not, wish that they'd gotten degrees or done other things with their teens/20s than what they did.

Anyways, my answer is that I'd have learned a bit more about the sites I joined, and thought things through more carefully. But like Aella said, I'm glad I had the shitty jobs and experiences that I did. Even if I did join at a younger age, I'd probably have just fucked around and wasted all my money on booze and road trips, haha.

Although, I will likely have more regrets in the future. If camming ruins all my future career aspirations or something, I might feel differently, but right now it seems too recent to have any major regrets.
 
Gerien said:
But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:

I think also this is a double edged sword for the ladies as well. While many guys get a false sense of control or whatever, the slippery slope of the camworld also potentially effects women's views. Being told xxx times a day how 'this or that' you are, [usually sexy, hot etc.], being proposed to xx times a day, being told how perfect you are, doing no wrong etc, skews the reality of ones own image. While the lady may be a 'queen' on line, when she walks down the street with regular folks, her "YLAM I'm special" may be in for a serious hit when guys don't idolize or fawn over them IRL. Its only human nature. :twocents-02cents:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.