I am a former gray user who started paying and I wanted to share my story

[BlueTornado]

Background:
I was a gray user for months and just started paying for shows last week. I'm pretty savy in computers and know a lot of girls who are expert scammers. I never used to pay because the concept doesn't make sense to me. Why should I pay for girls to have orgasms? No one pays me for an orgasm! And I know none of these girls are really turned on by their users, nor do they see them as anything else but customers. And after many months of viewing these women, I've seen everything they could ever possibly do for free, so it doesn't make sense to pay.

My biggest thing is photos. I love photos of women. I would honestly choose a good photo of a girl over videos. My hope was that by becoming a green user, I could finally purchase some pictures of my favorite models and I could tip the people who treated me nicely as a gray user.

Becoming a paid user:
My very first day wasn't a good one. I don't use credit cards for stuff like this, so I bought a giftcard and exchanged it for tokens. I got 92 tokens on XHL for $15, which was not the exchange rate I was expecting.

On my first day as a paid user, I got close to around 30 messages. Keep in mind, I had been viewing some of these girls for months without them ever acknowledging me. So obviously, I knew they weren't really sincere and I was quite annoyed with my new found popularity.

Within the first hour of being a paid user, I was banned from a model for 30 days. What was my horrendous crime you may ask? I don't know. I thanked them for their work in private chat and told them I was busy at the moment and would chat with them later. I came back from lunch and discovered I was banned. NOTE TO ALL PERFORMERS - Banning users is a horrible way to get tips out of them.

While I was a gray, I did make friends with 2-3 models. I actually became a paid user just so I could tip them for being so cool to me. Becoming a paid user has ruined both of those friendships:

- I've been chatting with one for a month or two now. As soon as I became a green user, she got a lot more interested in me. This weekend she said her kid was really sick. She sent me a photo of her and she hit me up on whatsapp for tokens. I didn't really want anything from her, but I offered to buy some photos of her for some of the amount she wanted. Her kid may be sick, but she isn't sick enough to sell any photos for the price I was thinking. I really have no interest in chatting with someone who uses their kid for cash and that's the end of our friendship.

- The other model, I was tipping regularly and we became whatsapp friends. I asked to buy a photo, since they didn't have any available. She said I could, and asked me to tip her a few tokens for it. I did. She said she would do it for me after her show. I even said, "I will only do this because I trust you", and she said "I'm very trustworthy". I went to bed and when I woke up, no picture was on our whatsapp chat. While I use a translator to talk to her, she basically said something to the effect of "I price my work a little higher" and seemed to be wanting me to pay her more for a photo. I said "forget it, I don't want it anymore" and was not happy that I was getting held up for cash. She was very offended by this, and said something to the effect of "unless you apologize for saying that, you aren't getting a photo" and 4 days later, I still have no photo. In the end, she has likely lost $50 from me this month to scam me out of a small fee.

It's been about a week and it hasn't been a real fun one. Most of the girls do not take photos and do not seem to want to sell any. It is extremely confusing to me as these girls do everything on cam mostly to people who will never pay a single cent, while I'm willing to pay and most of them are not very interested. I really don't get the difference between photos and videos, but it is clear there must be a major one. I did find one girl who takes photos and she has gotten more money out of me than everyone else combined, which has been nice.

I've also ended up having to create a new account. I constantly feel pressured to tip, which I don't like. And I feel like if I don't tip, I'm going to get banned, as two girls have already done. Meanwhile, on my free account, no one bothers me and I can watch for hours without ever getting an annoying new friend request or getting banned for nothing.

 

[JickyJuly]

Sounds like you're picking rooms that don't fit you well. Can you not chill in gray mode while you feel out a room then log in when you want to tip?

 

[Ava Nicole]

Lol, you let yourself get entertained by these women for months and when you come back to their room with tokens and don't bother to tip, they ban you??? Shocker of the century.

As a side note, if you're rude to models, they don't really care what money they're 'losing out" on from you. Someone who's demanding and negative is typically not worth the extra few bucks we might get from them each night.

 

[Danigirl]

Sooooo....

Camming is a model’s job. If she isn’t making money, she wouldn’t cam. It takes time to set up photos and I know personally that I don’t do anything custom unless it’s worth the time for me to set up, edit, etc. which would make a photoset a bit expensive since it may involve someone else there to take pics.

Your attitude is very off putting. Of course banning users means you won’t get their tokens lol. It means we think the tokens of people we ban aren’t worth the mental effort it takes to deal with them. I’ve banned members who have a crap ton of tokens if they are rude.

However, if a model agrees to do a pic set and you send her the tokens, she should have completed it. Unless you didn’t send enough. I know there’s no way I would do pics for 100 tokens. That’s $5. Not worth my time.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

-- I'd recommend using a site like sextpanther.com where models send pics/vids and the site is designed for that if it's photos you're mainly after. Unless the cam model is openly advertising photos I wouldn't expect them to drop everything to provide photos if they don’t normally do it. If she agreed to do it, got paid then didn’t then that is messed up. Sites like SP minimize that risk since she doesn’t get paid until you open the pic

You seem a bit rude and resentful about camming being a job. Of course we all know that no one has to pay but this whole "No one pays me to orgasm! so why should I?" is silly. Camming is entertainment. No point in being jaded that we're not being truthful in arousal/enjoyment/or liking the members we're interacting with. We’re all adults here. With all these complaints about what camming is--why even be in a cam room ? That kind of attitude would make me want to ban someone even if they were willing to pay because it’s just annoying.

 

[NotYou]

Camming is entertainment. No point in being jaded that we're not being truthful in arousal/enjoyment/or liking the members we're interacting with. We’re all adults here. With all these complaints about what camming is--why even be in a cam room ? That kind of attitude would make me want to ban someone even if they were willing to pay because it’s just annoying.

This.

It's what makes me love to tip a model or take her private. The entertainment side. Quite honestly, I could easily just go through google and find MILLIONS of websites with videos and photos FREE (sure, they are mostly stolen, but still). BUT the reason I personally love to tip and show my appreciation is MOSTLY for the entertainment side of things, be it dancing, teasing, talking or whatever else that model I am watching is doing/performing that day -- and what I am in the mood for too. Don't get me wrong, I love to see the model naked and toying too and all of that, but that isn't what keeps me to stay, tip or return.

 

[KingMarti]

Background:
Why should I pay for girls to have orgasms? No one pays me for an orgasm!

[/QUOTE]
People pay me to have orgasms, dont hate on someone's job because you never though about doing it yourself

Her kid may be sick, but she isn't sick enough to sell any photos for the price I was thinking. I really have no interest in chatting with someone who uses their kid for cash and that's the end of our friendship.

To play devils advocate on this, you would be a super shitty friend to try and use a friends bad situation to exploit them to your benefit. I am not saying she didnt lie about it, I know there are plenty of models that do, but using that situation weather it's true or not to try and get cheap content says a lot about you especially considering you had referred to this person as a friend...

 

[EspiKvlt]

No one pays me to cook dinner. No one pays me to clean my own house. No one pays me to sing in my free time.

You seem to be having a strong trouble differentiating between a past time and a job.

When I masturbate just for myself, it's completely different than masturbating for a video or on cam. That requires performance, set up, editing, marketing. None of which are required when I'm just masturbating on my free time.

The above examples are the same way:

No one will pay you for cooking dinner for yourself, but they WILL pay you to provide the service of cooking dinner for them.

No one will pay you for cleaning your house, but they WILL pay you for cleaning someone else's house.

No one will pay you to sing in the shower, but they WILL pay you if you put an album together.

You see the difference?

Your condescending attitude around sex work makes it pretty obvious why people keep banning you. You have no respect for sex workers.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

Photos sometimes can require more work than videos to be honest. The first time I had someone request a photo I told myself it would take like 5min max, so I charged something like 50-100 tks for it thinking it was easy. Turns out getting the right angle, lighting, and all the other little things you don't think about, can be challenging, more so if you don't have someone to take it for you which is probably the case with most models.

Also if you feel pressured to tip you are in the wrong rooms. Usually the only time you would get any sort of pressure is if you are asking for stuff without tipping, otherwise most models won't bother with people who they don't think will tip them as it's not worth the energy. You think it's silly to tip models as you can see things for free, but in the same way models find it silly to give attention to those who won't tip when other users a re willing to pay.

 

[EspiKvlt]

Photos sometimes can require more work than videos to be honest. The first time I had someone request a photo I told myself it would take like 5min max, so I charged something like 50-100 tks for it thinking it was easy. Turns out getting the right angle, lighting, and all the other little things you don't think about, can be challenging, more so if you don't have someone to take it for you which is probably the case with most models.

Photos take me MUCH longer. A video will take an hour to shoot and a few hours to edit on average.

A photo set will take me hours to shoot and hours to edit - sometimes days depending on how many photos there are. I had one photo set take me over a week to complete because I didn't like the way I edited them the first time and completely started over from scratch.

Even when I still did custom videos, I flat out refused custom photo sets after about two years in the industry. I don't think people realize how much work they are.

 

[TokenGesture]

OP you need to stay calm and refocus.

The transition from Freeloading Man to Man with Tokens can be traumatic for some. Long stretches of a carefree freeloading lifestyle tends to foster an inappropriate mindset and attitude. To suddenly find yourself with tokens, and thus responsibility, can be disorientating.

A good positive attitude to the tokens is essential if you're going to turn around your poor attitude towards the models.

Tokens make the camming world go round. That world is your oyster now that you're a Man with Tokens.

Just hang in there, stay positive and good luck. We're rooting for you.

 

[BlueTornado]

Lol, you let yourself get entertained by these women for months and when you come back to their room with tokens and don't bother to tip, they ban you??? Shocker of the century.

How much do you spend on your porn models each day?

I really can't justify or afford to spend $30-50 a day or even a month on a model.

 

[EspiKvlt]

How much do you spend on your porn models each day?

Because personally, I don't have the money to throw around $20 tips a day.

No one is saying you need to tip every day but it's incredibly rude to lurk for months and then not tip when you DO finally have money.

 

[BlueTornado]

No one is saying you need to tip every day but it's incredibly rude to lurk for months and then not tip when you DO finally have money.

How much do you spend on your porn models each day?

I'm not even sure these girls are aware I even existed. It's not like they ever acknowledged me in any way. The ones who did got tipped though.

 

[EspiKvlt]

How much do you spend on your porn models each day?

I'm not even sure these girls are aware I even existed. It's not like they ever acknowledged me.

Did you miss the part where I said "no one is saying you need to tip every day" or are you purposefully ignoring my point?

I don't go in peoples' cam rooms if I don't have money in the first place.

 

[BlueTornado]

Did you miss the part where I said "no one is saying you need to tip every day" or are you purposefully ignoring my point?

I don't go in peoples' cam rooms if I don't have money in the first place.

>Did you miss the part where I said "no one is saying you need to tip every day" or are you purposefully ignoring my point?
You understand the one girl banned me after less than 1 hour of having tokens right? While I was in the middle of doing something else.

Here, let me show you where it said that:
"Within the first hour of being a paid user, I was banned from a model for 30 days. What was my horrendous crime you may ask? I don't know. I thanked them for their work in private chat and told them I was busy at the moment and would chat with them later. I came back from lunch and discovered I was banned. "

>I don't go in peoples' cam rooms if I don't have money in the first place.
If I had never gone into rooms of people when I didn't have money, the people who got paid would have never gotten paid, would they?

 

[BlueTornado]

> I am not saying she didnt lie about it,

It seems kind of odd that she would send me a picture of her kid for the first time when she apparently needed money. That would be a great way to garner sympathy, wouldn't it?

>To play devils advocate on this, you would be a super shitty friend to try and use a friends bad situation to exploit them to your benefit. but using that situation weather it's true or not to try and get cheap content says a lot about you especially considering you had referred to this person as a friend...

Well, again, I'm really not sure where the fantasy ends and the reality begins. You wouldn't believe how many girls think I'm their baby and their love without me even seeing them for the first time...or believe I'm dumb enough to think I'm their baby and love without seeing them. This fantasy ended though when I got propositioned for money, just as it would in reality.

 

[BlueTornado]

-- I'd recommend using a site like sextpanther.com where models send pics/vids and the site is designed for that if it's photos you're mainly after. Unless the cam model is openly advertising photos I wouldn't expect them to drop everything to provide photos if they don’t normally do it. If she agreed to do it, got paid then didn’t then that is messed up. Sites like SP minimize that risk since she doesn’t get paid until you open the pic

You seem a bit rude and resentful about camming being a job. Of course we all know that no one has to pay but this whole "No one pays me to orgasm! so why should I?" is silly. Camming is entertainment. No point in being jaded that we're not being truthful in arousal/enjoyment/or liking the members we're interacting with. We’re all adults here. With all these complaints about what camming is--why even be in a cam room ? That kind of attitude would make me want to ban someone even if they were willing to pay because it’s just annoying.

Camming is not just entertainment. There's real money and real feelings involved. There are a ton of poor people out there who are exploitable and don't know that the girl really doesn't love them, and sometimes doesn't even know they exist.

I see camming as a strip club. You do your job and if I like it, I tip. Some people here and online see it as a store. You buy something or leave.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I didn't see anything in the original post about an actual picture of the kid but most of us if not all here would be the first to agree that is creepy, manipulative and weird.

Some models do the 'love' con especially if they are working for a non-us studio that instructs them to do so unfortunately. It's all 110% fantasy until a model actually tells you their real name, doesn't charge you anymore and meets you in person and even then a lot of shit can go south.

 

[Ava Nicole]

I really think camsites are not for you.

 

[EspiKvlt]

Camming is not just entertainment. There's real money and real feelings involved. There are a ton of poor people out there who really believe that girl on the other end gives a shit about them. That's cruelty.

No, that's delusion.

They are 100% just entertainment. If you can't accept that, you shouldn't be going on cam sites.

(I also do have lifelong friendships with members even after not camming for several years, but that's because they treated me with respect.)

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Camming is not just entertainment. There's real money and real feelings involved. There are a ton of poor people out there who really believe that girl on the other end gives a shit about them. That's cruelty.

I can speak candidly here, because I am indeed not the Blue Tornado.

That isn't a cam site problem. That is an individual, psychological problem dude. A lot of us do indeed, care about our members. I love when they share their happiness and lives with me. I enjoy my small chit chat with some of them and I am actually engaged to *drum roll* a former regular member of mine. I have member-friends that I've known for +6 years now that I enjoy hearing updates about their lives and do indeed care about them.

With the internet--anyone with a disposition to be manipulated or delusional wouldn't just find cam sites cruel. Online dating, social media, forums etc people are ALL not who they seem to be. We do know a real person is on the other end of the computer and we are people too.

If you can't draw the line between entertainment that is your own personal issue not cam sites themselves.

 

[BlueTornado]

No, that's delusion.

They are 100% just entertainment. If you can't accept that, you shouldn't be going on cam sites.

(I also do have lifelong friendships with members even after not camming for several years, but that's because they treated me with respect.)

>They are 100% just entertainment. If you can't accept that, you shouldn't be going on cam sites.
I disagree. When a girl is giving you her number, telling and asking personal details, that line gets very blurry. And it gets blurrier when you are dealing with people who are very skilled at exploiting people for money.

>(I also do have lifelong friendships with members even after not camming for several years, but that's because they treated me with respect.)
That's not just entertainment then, is it?

 

[BlueTornado]

That isn't a cam site problem. That is an individual, psychological problem dude. A lot of us do indeed, care about our members. I love when they share their happiness and lives with me. I enjoy my small chit chat with some of them and I am actually engaged to *drum roll* a former regular member of mine. I have member-friends that I've known for +6 years now that I enjoy hearing updates about their lives and do indeed care about them.

With the internet--anyone with a disposition to be manipulated or delusional wouldn't just find cam sites cruel. Online dating, social media, forums etc people are ALL not who they seem to be. We do know a real person is on the other end of the computer and we are people too.

If you can't draw the line between entertainment that is your own personal issue not cam sites themselves.

>That is an individual, psychological problem dude

Please do not tell me you honestly think the people in your rooms 100% know it's just a fantasy/entertainment. I legitimately hope you do not actually believe that.

>I am actually engaged to *drum roll* a former regular member of mine. I have member-friends that I've known for +6 years now that I enjoy hearing updates about their lives and do indeed care about them.

So then it is not just a fantasy/entertainment, is it? It has real life consequences.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

@BlueTornado
You can make friends and fall in love in ANY area of work and anyplace on the internet. That is life. Just because I fell in love with one member does not mean by whole, I'm available to all people on that level nor does that change the dynamic of my show. Anyplace on the internet that people connect on...authentic connections can and do happen. Again this happens everywhere online. It won't happen for every single person and it shouldn't be the goal of coming to cam sites if that will be harmful to you

Of course I know people are delusional but it's not my damn fault they are. I don't tell people I'm in love with them. I don't manipulate people. I don't blur lines and I make it more than clear that I am an entertainer and joke that my persona doesn't even exisit offline. Most models here I think would agree that the lovecon is a messed up approach. I am not responsible for a member's emotional health or issues. Watch a few episodes of catfish and see how many people will pull the lovecon on just social media alone for money. It is not a cam site exclusively issue nor does it make cam models as a whole cruel.

I have had members I had to ban because they were getting too deep into me on a personal level and making me uncomfortable. Mind you, this is all me just being myself--no words of romance whatsoever. Every model will have an obssesed member who can't understand cam sites and think they're in love with you.

If the lines are blurred and a situation is too good to be true and you have your suspicions you're being manipulated-by all means remove yourself from contact with that model. But going around making assumptions about camming as a whole that are innaccurate as well you're dissing the models here and our job itself because of your own issues.

 

[KingMarti]

> I am not saying she didnt lie about it,

It seems kind of odd that she would send me a picture of her kid for the first time when she apparently needed money. That would be a great way to garner sympathy, wouldn't it?

>To play devils advocate on this, you would be a super shitty friend to try and use a friends bad situation to exploit them to your benefit. but using that situation weather it's true or not to try and get cheap content says a lot about you especially considering you had referred to this person as a friend...

Well, again, I'm really not sure where the fantasy ends and the reality begins. You wouldn't believe how many girls think I'm their baby and their love without me even seeing them for the first time...or believe I'm dumb enough to think I'm their baby and love without seeing them. This fantasy ended though when I got propositioned for money, just as it would in reality.

I'm really not sure why you quoted me when what you said has absolutely nothing to do with what I said. My entire point on this was you said you considered this person a friend and when they told you they were having a difficult time you tried to take advantage of them, you cant say weather the situation is true or not, neither can we. The only information that we have in this situation is that someone you said you considered a friend needed help and you tried to take advantage of that situation to get cheaper content.

If the payment ruins the fantasy you expect the fantasy to be kept up 24/7 with you tipping what you feel like and only at the time you feel like? That's like your boss telling you to work everyday and he will pay you what he wants when he wants to do it.

From the way you have presented yourself here, If you had acted like you said you acted in these rooms, I would have banned you too.

 

[BlueTornado]

@BlueTornado
You can make friends and fall in love in ANY area of work and anyplace on the internet. That is life. Just because I fell in love with one member does not mean by whole, I'm available to all people on that level. Anyplace on the internet that people connect on...authentic connections can and do happen. Again this happens everywhere online.

Of course I know people are delusional but it's not my damn fault they are. I don't tell people I'm in love with them. I don't manipulate people. I don't blur lines and I make it more than clear that I am an entertainer and joke that my persona doesn't even exisit offline. Most models here I think would agree that the lovecon is a messed up approach. I am not responsible for a member's emotional health or issues. Watch a few episodes of catfish and see how many people will pull the lovecon on just social media alone for money. It is not a cam site exclusively issue nor does it make cam models as a whole cruel.

I have had members I had to ban because they were getting too deep into me on a personal level and making me uncomfortable. Mind you, this is all me just being myself--no words of romance whatsoever. Every model will have an obssesed member who can't understand cam sites and think they're in love with you.

If the lines are blurred and a situation is too good to be true and you have your suspicions you're being manipulated-by all means remove yourself from contact with that model. But going around making assumptions about camming as a whole that are innaccurate as well you're dissing the models here and our job itself because of your own issues.

>Just because I fell in love with one member does not mean by whole, I'm available to all people on that level.

Do your viewers know you aren't available? Would this have any effect on your business if they knew the real truth?

>Of course I know people are delusional but it's not my damn fault they are. I don't tell people I'm in love with them. I don't manipulate people. I don't blur lines and I make it more than clear that I am an entertainer and joke that my persona doesn't even exisit offline.

Just for the record - I do not know who you are. I've never seen any of your shows. I cannot comment on what goes on in your rooms. If you really do tell people that they have no chance with you whatsoever and if you really do tell people you are already taken and so forth, I admire your honesty.

>Most models here I think would agree that the lovecon is a messed up approach.

Yes, I agree, but it is extremely common and I can 100% tell you that it can blur the lines and can be used on some poor people.

I am not responsible for a member's emotional health or issues.

I cannot comment on you or your shows. Haven't seen them.

Watch a few episodes of catfish and see how many people will pull the lovecon on just social media alone for money. It is not a cam site exclusively issue nor does it make cam models as a whole cruel.

I have been hit up by girls for cash for a decade, so I know all about it. The dance sometimes lasts seconds, and sometimes it can last years. Sometimes the dance even involves other dance partners.

>I have had members I had to ban because they were getting too deep into me on a personal level and making me uncomfortable.

Then there are some who get lucky and get to be your real life friend, as you told me.

>But going around making assumptions about camming as a whole that are innaccurate as well you're dissing the models here and our job itself because of your own issues.

Again, I don't know you and I've never seen you. Nothing is directed at you personally.

 

[AmberCutie]

No one is saying you need to tip every day but it's incredibly rude to lurk for months and then not tip when you DO finally have money.

And then ONLY tip to get something additional in return, vs. just tipping in appreciation for the hours he's enjoyed the model's entertainment/room.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

@BlueTornado

>Just because I fell in love with one member does not mean by whole, I'm available to all people on that level.

Do your viewers know you aren't available? Would this have any effect on your business if they knew the real truth?

--Yes most know. I refer to him as Mr.Bonita and I make even more $$ now than when I was single. I market to more of the "let's be naughty while my boyfriend is at work" type of vibe. My shows are more friendly/highly sexualized. Even saying I'm engaged I'll STILL get messages from guys asking me to marry them/move in with them/that they're in love with me. I think that doesn't change or stop members from thinking they have a chance even if they're not actively encouraged. Some models are or aren't honest about their personal life and that's completely on them. In the end, it's not the member's buisness of what our personal lives are ultimately like. I choose what I want to share but I would in no means, fault a model who pretends to be single when they aren't just so they can protect their privacy and not deal with probing questions



>But going around making assumptions about camming as a whole that are innaccurate as well you're dissing the models here and our job itself because of your own issues.

Again, I don't know you and I've never seen you. Nothing is directed at you personally.

--I know nothing is personally directed at me but you are posting a forum that is a community of cammodels. Of course, we're going to respond if we feel like our jobs are being demonized. Our job is HIGHLY stigmatized as it is by society--so the claws indeed will come out if we're lumped in with 'cam sites are cruel to men' type of rhetoric

 

[paige_orion]

Judging SOLELY from your posts on this thread, you seem to have an incredible amount of disdain and disgust for camgirls, viewing them all as exploitative, manipulative and money-hungry, taking advantage of all the poor members who visit our rooms. While at the same time, implying that none of us are worth paying for the services/products/happiness that we provide, and justifying why you can't/won't/don't like to pay. There's a whole lot of Red Flags scattered amongst your posts. Put them all together, and it paints a very bleak portrait of your opinion on cam-models, and our jobs, in general.

Honestly, with an attitude like this, I don't see you finding any enjoyment from camsites. And I can completely and totally understand why you are being banned by so many models. Why would I want to associate with someone who doesn't think I am worth paying, or who views my profession with such contempt? Why would anyone want to welcome such behavior or attitudes into their room? No amount of tokens is worth that. The MOMENT I get a hint that members feel this way about cam-models, I tend to ban. Because I can never have a satisfying relationship, business or friendship-wise, with someone who deep down inside views Me and my fellow models with such distrust and outright antipathy.

I would rather surround myself with people who enjoy my company and the pleasure I give them, people who respect Me as a person and who value my services for what they are worth - and who know the difference between fantasy and reality. Those are the people whom I will create customs for. Those are the people whom I will allow to remain in my circle, who are welcome in my space, whom I value and care about.