How long should a guy wait until he tells his date that he's a member of a camsite?

[Guy]

E.g: first date, within first 7 dates, until in official relationship, etc.

 

[JustWantToSeeThePictures]

Until the copyright on your work expires.

 

[JickyJuly]

If you're a member and not performing, I might not volunteer that info if I was just dating. Instead, I'd wait until the "what are we" discussion came around. If what we are included possible monogamy, I'd ask the person's stance on having a partner who indulges in camsites and share my views as well.

 

[SaffronBurke]

It doesn't even matter. I figure most adults of dating age partake in adult entertainment in one form or another, and assume that everyone else does, too.

 

[alexa_voltage]

Honestly it shouldnt be something where he has to be like "oh hey I also look at these girls!!" "I go to camsites!" Ect. Just cuz youre in a relationship doesnt mean EVERYTHING is their business. I just say whenever a person is comfortable.maybe once they get serious, move in together ect. If hes with the right girl maybe she will watch too!

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

At approximately the time that the two of you feel comfortable if one of you is taking a shit while the other is in the shower. So just ensure that you always have enough bathrooms, and you will never have to tell her. Yay!
(^Not real relationship advice, but having enough bathrooms in your home is legitimately a very good relationship tactic for so many reasons.)

In seriousness, whenever you have the conversation about "what level of monogamy do we desire and what counts as cheating," it's probably worth asking her feelings about visiting cam sites. Also, it should absolutely be discussed if you plan on spending shared money on a cam site. Otherwise, I see no reason to discuss it.

 

[AudriTwo]

First date, duh


Nah I kid. If it is brought up sure, but I wouldn't go out of my way unless you visiting camsites become an issue.

 

[BobbyB]

I guess the moment when the girl tells you she is a model on a camsite is a good time to tell her that you spent most of your spare money on camsites.... should create mutual trust...

 

[eyeteach]

At approximately the time that the two of you feel comfortable if one of you is taking a shit while the other is in the shower. So just ensure that you always have enough bathrooms, and you will never have to tell her. Yay!
(^Not real relationship advice, but having enough bathrooms in your home is legitimately a very good relationship tactic for so many reasons.)

In seriousness, whenever you have the conversation about "what level of monogamy do we desire and what counts as cheating," it's probably worth asking her feelings about visiting cam sites. Also, it should absolutely be discussed if you plan on spending shared money on a cam site. Otherwise, I see no reason to discuss it.

Shit/shower advice is one of the reasons I visit these forums. That was fucking great!

 

[KarlaKaress]

i think it's a conversation that the couple should have only if it becomes a problem. like @SaffronBurke said, i figure everyone watched porn in some form or another. i think i'd be more disappointed that my partner watches stolen porn than finding out down the line that they support a camgirl.

 

[LylacDoll]

I kinda just go by the assumption that everyone consumes adult entertainment in one way or another and so long as it doesn't impair their functioning, or negatively affect my life, I couldn't care less about it. Granted, if I were sharing finances with someone who frequented camsites, there would likely be a budget set aside for those sorts of things, just like I have a bit set aside in my budget for my own entertainment. Even still, that's a long ways into a relationship, and sharing finances isn't something that always happens in long term relationships (I know I like my financial autonomy).

Now, that said, I think it's safe to say I'm pretty biased in my very relaxed view on this, so for most people I feel like the discussion would be best had around the same time as the "what are we conversation?" and discussing what level of monogamy you both want.

 

[DejaElectra]

Before I started camming I had never even thought to ask a partner if they viewed camsites, it's not something I feel people should have to "come clean" about. Almost every adult has viewed some kind of adult entertainment, I would say it's even expected of men.

If you want to offer up that information I'd say wait until you feel comfortable talking about your "adult" habits with the person. Talking about adult viewing habits can be great for a relationship because it can give you a little idea what the person is into. Some people do take issue with their partner watching porn, but they are a minority. Like other people have said, if you're having a conversation about what they define as cheating you should bring it up. Generally speaking viewing adult entertainment is far from odd and not something anyone should feel like is some sort of big secret.

Unless the person showed some signs of other issues (like spending all their money on camsites or having a stalker-ish attachment to a model) there's really no reason I personally would have a problem with it. Camsites are just entertainment, we all spend time and money on entertainment, it would suck if my partner dumped me over my Spotify subscription

 

[thehills]

 

[Guy]

It doesn't even matter. I figure most adults of dating age partake in adult entertainment in one form or another, and assume that everyone else does, too.

This article suggests that women are a lot more likely to find watching camgirls to be cheating than watching porn to be cheating. I think that the last thing they say in it is BS. http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/is-watching-camgirls-cheating

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

No surprise that in forum of camgirls watching camsite wo

This article suggests that women are a lot more likely to find watching camgirls to be cheating than watching porn to be cheating. I think that the last thing they say in it is BS. http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/is-watching-camgirls-cheating

I don't think it is BS. Relationships with camgirls are more intimate than porn. Ultimately, your significant other (SO )is entitled to his/her opinion of what's is cheating and you can agree or disagree with it.
It is not surprising in a forum of camgirls that most would ok with their SO watching camgirls.

I'm curious at what point they'd consider it not ok.
Imagine your SO spent $500 month on camsite, primarily on a single model. They visited several times a week for 2-3 hours. They also exchanged twitter messages and snapchat or a regular basis.
Now think about your girlfriends who don't cam, would most be ok with this behavior by their SO or consider it cheating?

If I was living with a girl and she did this and spent $500/month on model male or female. I wouldn't be ok it with.

 

[Guy]

No surprise that in forum of camgirls watching camsite wo


I don't think it is BS. Relationships with camgirls are more intimate than porn. Ultimately, your significant other (SO )is entitled to his/her opinion of what's is cheating and you can agree or disagree with it.
It is not surprising in a forum of camgirls that most would ok with their SO watching camgirls.

I'm curious at what point they'd consider it not ok.
Imagine your SO spent $500 month on camsite, primarily on a single model. They visited several times a week for 2-3 hours. They also exchanged twitter messages and snapchat or a regular basis.
Now think about your girlfriends who don't cam, would most be ok with this behavior by their SO or consider it cheating?

If I was living with a girl and she did this and spent $500/month on model male or female. I wouldn't be ok it with.

What if a guy has no friends and needs someone besides his SO talk to?

 

[LylacDoll]

This article suggests that women are a lot more likely to find watching camgirls to be cheating than watching porn to be cheating. I think that the last thing they say in it is BS. http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/is-watching-camgirls-cheating

The problem with trying to base relationship choices off of articles marketed to the mass public is that cheating is something that should be defined by the people within the relationship, rather than making blanket statements of what counts and doesn't, or what you should and shouldn't do, based purely on statistics.

Cheating isn't about what society says is or isn't, but cheating is people in relationships not agreeing to play by the rules that they and their partner have put together. So in one relationship, perhaps watching a camgirl counts as cheating. But in another, it could be totally fine. In another it's only cheating if the other person's not their. Whatever. It isn't about what magazines say, but about what the people actually in the relationship agree to.

Personally, any relationship with me, paying to see a camgirl isn't going to count as cheating--until it interferes with my emotional/physical needs being met. So yeah, if you can keep up a GFE experience going with a camgirl and still have time to deal with my emotional self, sure, spend that $500 on that girl, snapchat her, skype her, so long as I always come first, and that money is coming out of your pocket. But to others, that is entirely past their limits, and that's okay too. It's just a conversation that would need to be had about the time when people start bringing up monogamy, just because it's good to have everyone on the same page.

 

[SoTxBob]

If the guy has no friends, in all practicality, he won't meet a serious gf either. Beyond that, like Saff said, what does it matter?
This isn't anything criminal and its not worshiping the devil or anything, [not that there anything wrong with those of ya here that do..] It's something that I'd not even mention until there was a reason, like seeing an ad for a cam sight, or a porn popup, then finding out her feelings on it. Get to know each other first. You simply don't tell everything up front without knowing that person very well first.
There are plenty of very religious folks that would feel even this forum would get them an express ticket to hell. To each their own. [Also, don't forget about your search history and bookmarks.]

 

[Lucid1]

I think you should discuss it with her right away to see if she is comfortable with it. Why hide something that is going to have a possible effect on your intimate life? I don't think it would be fair to your SO if you hop on a site, masturbate/release, and a few mins later she comes to you with that hitherto look wanting to get all cuddly with a sexual agenda. Sure, younger guys could probably get away with this, as their recoup time is obviously quicker than someone a lot older. I think that ANY relationship requires 100% commitment to the other person in mind, body and spirit. So in my mind, the issue isn't whether you should consider telling her or not, but rather if you would be able to stop if you find yourself in such a relationship. Now, before I get flogged for my view on this, I started viewing camgirls after my last LTR went south, and it has provided me with a safe and risk-free alternative for my sexual needs. But the moment I find my next SO I would have no issues with stopping these interactions and instead focusing my attention and affection towards the one who deserves it the most.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

I don't think it would be fair to your SO if you hop on a site, masturbate/release, and a few mins later she comes to you with that hitherto look wanting to get all cuddly with a sexual agenda. Sure, younger guys could probably get away with this, as their recoup time is obviously quicker than someone a lot older.

Wait... I have so many questions...

What do you do if you have a long recoup time and your SO gives you the "hitherto look" 4 times a day? Is it unfair to her that you can't bone her that often?
What if you have erectile dysfunction and can't take ED meds for some reason? Have you permanently failed your SO for the rest of your lives?
What if you pass up the opportunity to jerk off, and you wait in vain for "the look" all day, then at bedtime you're like "I kept my balls nice and full for you, honey," and she isn't interested at all. Is she being unfair to you?
Do you expect your SO to have a bunch of horniness stored up whenever you have a sexual agenda? If she doesn't, is that unfair? What happens then?
If she wants more sex than your cock is able to handle for whatever reason, why couldn't you play with oral, fingers, hitachi, dildo, strap on, etc.?
Is there some reason you can't simply ask your SO, "Hey, babe, I'm feeling horny, but I don't know if I can get it up twice today. Think you'll want to fuck later, or should I just handle it myself?" Surely getting her input on her own sexual needs and letting her make an informed, adult decision is an easy solution? And if she tells you to go jerk off, she can't blame you if she wants some later.

 

[CharlieCharma]

Honestly, I would view most members of camsites the same as I do guys who occasionally visit a strip club or watch porn regularly. Unless they're overspending, which would be seen as any other kind of overspending red flags. Maybe I'll watch sometime with him, but it really isn't relevant to the relationship in my opinion.

 

[Fatquack]

Doesn't everyone just mention "watching webcams" as a hobby on their tinder profile?

 

[AudriTwo]

I think you should discuss it with her right away to see if she is comfortable with it. Why hide something that is going to have a possible effect on your intimate life? I don't think it would be fair to your SO if you hop on a site, masturbate/release, and a few mins later she comes to you with that hitherto look wanting to get all cuddly with a sexual agenda. Sure, younger guys could probably get away with this, as their recoup time is obviously quicker than someone a lot older. I think that ANY relationship requires 100% commitment to the other person in mind, body and spirit. So in my mind, the issue isn't whether you should consider telling her or not, but rather if you would be able to stop if you find yourself in such a relationship. Now, before I get flogged for my view on this, I started viewing camgirls after my last LTR went south, and it has provided me with a safe and risk-free alternative for my sexual needs. But the moment I find my next SO I would have no issues with stopping these interactions and instead focusing my attention and affection towards the one who deserves it the most.

You know what I hate? When I know my husband jerks off in the bathroom then acts like he did NOTHING! He sometimes kisses me and touches me with the hand he pleasured himself with. CAN YOU EVEN!?!?! What a inconsiderate prick! WHY didn't he have sex with me when we didn't have the time right then and there to bone for 45 minutes so he can cum and feel some sort of sexual release in two minutes and not be late for work. Really he is so fucking selfish. I should be the only person my partner has sexual from. AND THAT INCLUDES HIS HANDS AND /R/GW. HIS BODY BELONGS TO ME!!!! MINE!!! HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

[Lucid1]

Wait... I have so many questions...

What do you do if you have a long recoup time and your SO gives you the "hitherto look" 4 times a day? Is it unfair to her that you can't bone her that often?
What if you have erectile dysfunction and can't take ED meds for some reason? Have you permanently failed your SO for the rest of your lives?
What if you pass up the opportunity to jerk off, and you wait in vain for "the look" all day, then at bedtime you're like "I kept my balls nice and full for you, honey," and she isn't interested at all. Is she being unfair to you?
Do you expect your SO to have a bunch of horniness stored up whenever you have a sexual agenda? If she doesn't, is that unfair? What happens then?
If she wants more sex than your cock is able to handle for whatever reason, why couldn't you play with oral, fingers, hitachi, dildo, strap on, etc.?
Is there some reason you can't simply ask your SO, "Hey, babe, I'm feeling horny, but I don't know if I can get it up twice today. Think you'll want to fuck later, or should I just handle it myself?" Surely getting her input on her own sexual needs and letting her make an informed, adult decision is an easy solution? And if she tells you to go jerk off, she can't blame you if she wants some later.

Everything you just asked is something known to both parties in a relationship as issues that "present" themselves in real time, and are not veiled by some personal, intimate secrecy. Some people can, and do "what if" a relationship into the ground based on the supposition that goes on solely inside their own heads. Everything you just mentioned can be dealt with thru communication and intimate growth together, hence getting "input on her own sexual needs" as you put it. If I am involved with an activity in my single life that I would not otherwise be involved with while in a relationship, especially if I knew my SO would not approve of it, I would stop. At that point there is no reason to present it as a topic of discussion.

 

[Guy]

No surprise that in forum of camgirls watching camsite wo


I don't think it is BS. Relationships with camgirls are more intimate than porn. Ultimately, your significant other (SO )is entitled to his/her opinion of what's is cheating and you can agree or disagree with it.
It is not surprising in a forum of camgirls that most would ok with their SO watching camgirls.

I'm curious at what point they'd consider it not ok.
Imagine your SO spent $500 month on camsite, primarily on a single model. They visited several times a week for 2-3 hours. They also exchanged twitter messages and snapchat or a regular basis.
Now think about your girlfriends who don't cam, would most be ok with this behavior by their SO or consider it cheating?

If I was living with a girl and she did this and spent $500/month on model male or female. I wouldn't be ok it with.

The last thing they said was: "And if not being able to watch a private show bothers you—it might be time to reconsider whether or not you’re ready for a commitment in the first place."
They are ignoring the fact that camming goes WAY beyond the pornographic aspect. What if a guy considers camgirls/camsites to be a significant part of his social life? If he considers his girlfriend not allowing him to go on camsites/get private shows a deal breaker for that reason, how does that mean he`s not ready for a commitment?

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

The last thing they said was: "And if not being able to watch a private show bothers you—it might be time to reconsider whether or not you’re ready for a commitment in the first place."
They are ignoring the fact that camming goes WAY beyond the pornographic aspect. What if a guy considers camgirls/camsites to be a significant part of his social life? If he considers his girlfriend not allowing him to go on camsites/get private shows a deal breaker for that reason, how does that mean he`s not ready for a commitment?

Guy, I understand your point. Most people when they say commitment mean monogamous relationships. Camming complicates things does it really count as relationship?. There are plenty of women who consider a man masturbating to porn to be cheating. That's quite common among woman my age 50s and probably uncommon among woman in their 20s.

The nature of commitment in relationships requires sacrifice. A 20 something girl who is unwilling to date a guy who uses porn, is being unreasonable and so she is arguably the one not ready for a commitment. A girl who tell the guy she is dating that he has to stop visiting a call girl every week is being perfectly reasonable. I'd argue that spending $500/month on camgirl for privates and such is closer to the call girl side, then going to porn hub and masturbating. Now if it's a deal breaker for you, then, by all means, keep searching for the girl that will let you do both. But my opinion is with Playboy if your SO tells you that you have to stop spending money, time and emotional energy on camgirls, if you love her you will.

 

[n_i_c_u]

You know what I hate? When I know my husband jerks off in the bathroom then acts like he did NOTHING!

I got caught doing that once (girlfriend). HOLY CRAP it was horrible. "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEE" she yelled. In my defense I was having gallbladder issues and didn't know it--surgery eight years later after I couldn't get the pain to go away-- and jerking off helped me to get sleepy at that time and it seemed to kill the pain. I would have tried anything but couldn't afford real drugs and jerking off and eating until i was tired sure seemed to help with getting sleep and was within my budget (ignorant as I was). Internet was new then and I didn't have a primary physician. Jerking off worked for me for a bit. I tried to explain it but it didn't really work out in my favor. But yeah, I understand that reality (I love your funny, doh!).

 

[SaffronBurke]

I think you should discuss it with her right away to see if she is comfortable with it. Why hide something that is going to have a possible effect on your intimate life? I don't think it would be fair to your SO if you hop on a site, masturbate/release, and a few mins later she comes to you with that hitherto look wanting to get all cuddly with a sexual agenda. Sure, younger guys could probably get away with this, as their recoup time is obviously quicker than someone a lot older. I think that ANY relationship requires 100% commitment to the other person in mind, body and spirit. So in my mind, the issue isn't whether you should consider telling her or not, but rather if you would be able to stop if you find yourself in such a relationship. Now, before I get flogged for my view on this, I started viewing camgirls after my last LTR went south, and it has provided me with a safe and risk-free alternative for my sexual needs. But the moment I find my next SO I would have no issues with stopping these interactions and instead focusing my attention and affection towards the one who deserves it the most.

I don't know about anyone else, but I masturbated way more when I was in a relationship than I do while single. Not sure why. Pretty sure my s/o masturbated, too, what with the having genitals and being alive. I wasn't bothered by it, because sometimes you just want a little me-time, a little opportunity to get yourself off like nobody else can.

The only time his jerking off bothered me was the time that I woke up to the bed shaking, my first thought was "fuck, he's having a seizure" because... He had seizures. Then I hear the sound of fapping..... Oh. When I asked him the next day why he didn't just wake me up and fuck me, he said it was because he didn't want to wake me up. YOU FUCKING DID ANYWAY. If you didn't want to wake me up, you should've got out of bed and whacked it in the bathroom, you knob head.

It is not surprising in a forum of camgirls that most would ok with their SO watching camgirls.

Even before I was a camgirl, it didn't bother me. It was actually the catalyst to me starting to cam.

 

[snowwolf87]

The only time his jerking off bothered me was the time that I woke up to the bed shaking, my first thought was "fuck, he's having a seizure" because... He had seizures. Then I hear the sound of fapping..... Oh. When I asked him the next day why he didn't just wake me up and fuck me, he said it was because he didn't want to wake me up. YOU FUCKING DID ANYWAY. If you didn't want to wake me up, you should've got out of bed and whacked it in the bathroom, you knob head.

Quoting just so I can say knob head.

 

[paws_xx]

I would like to say I wouldn't care if my SO watched camgirls, but one time a guy I was seeing was spending lotssssssss of money tipping a girl and taking her pvt, and barely spent any money with me doing things. and i got jealous and threw a bit of a fit lol. I could also see how a camgirl, with a GFE and personalized sex shows, is much more intimate than just watching random porn online.
Overall I think I would generally be okay with my SO having a bond with a camgirl and investing in her, but I would like to know I'm priority and number one lol.

As for the telling your date or wtvr you're a member on a camsite, I guess it really just depends on your relationship and what kinda person you're seeing. The only reason I ever knew any of my previous SO's were members on camsites was because I came clean about being a camgirl relatively early on. I'm not sure they would've shared that info with me otherwise. It doesn't really strike me as something that is mandatory to share unless you want to. Especially when there's no commitment and you're not exclusive or anything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯