How is your webcam model job affecting your relationships?

[AngelNery]

I like this forum a lot. I like that so many models find common ground with each other and give their honest opinion about things. I am myself a model on MFC, not as successful as some of you models here, because i started not knowing much about MFC, and it's little secrets, quickly fallen on the end of the list with a score of 700, when i didn't even know what a cam score was, angry members kept telling me about it if i refused to get naked in free chat :-D . I,m a girl from Romania, hungarian nationality, who currently lives in the USA. I came here alone to work, family is back home. I worked as a caregiver, babysitter, webcam modelling part time, and now i decided to do it full time, since i lost my job. I have a wonderful boyfriend. The situation is that i never have told him about the webcam modelling job, I started 2 years ago, just before i met him. Shame i know ,but i couldn't bring myself to tell him, and i hidden it pretty well. I'm a type of girl like Ambercutie, shy, but daring, have a naughty side to her and very open minded. I enjoy being alone. Nobody would guess this about me, I have very few friends, and i have not told about my webcam job to anybody. Well our relationship got stronger over the 2 years to the point that he wants me to move in with him and take the relationship to the next level. I'm scared but i know it's the right thing to do at this point, and i will have to tell him that this is what i want to do for a job. I see you girls being successful as models and lots of you are married and happy. I,m jelous of you. I know the reason i didn't put enough work into this job it's because i felt i need to keep it secret, constantly worrying that everybody will be hugely disappointed in me. I know you are going to judge me because i hidden this for so long especially from my boyfriend, but i will tell him soon, and i would appreciate words of encouragement. However feel free to comment as you like.

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

My Master is the one who suggested I try out MFC, so I'm in a completely different position. However, I have been very careful who I tell outside the internet about my online life, as there are many friends I doubt would understand that it's not porn, I'm not putting myself in danger, and it's not cheating.

I think, when you sit down to tell him, start by telling him how much you love him, and how you don't want to lose him. Let him know that you aren't touching any other men, and that they don't even know your real name. All it is, is cybersex.

I don't know him, so I can't say what his reaction will be, but whatever it is, we are here for you.

*hugs*

 

[AluraCurvyBBW]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

Honestly given your background it is understanable that you don't run around advertising. To be honest only a few of my family members actually know I work a webcam site.

With you wanting to step the relationship up to moving in together I would recommend telling your partner that you need to have a serious discussion.

Basically let them kno that you did not hide it to decieve them but more due to worrying that peoples opinions of you would be lowered.

And that you want to have it in the open that you make money from home.

You have to decide how much to tell.. be it gradually testing to see his responses. Or flat out telling him than showing him the website.

I also advise contacting amber on how to verify model status so you can access the model only boards.

My fiance actually is very supportive. He suggested the sites to me. He used to work in the adult industry. So for us this isn't really the same situation as the other models.

 

[AluraCurvyBBW]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

Not all models are out to family and friends. A good portion of them have only told their very close trusted circle.

Mainly the reasons vary. We all are drawn to being able to work from home and have fun.

Like luna stated you are not touching the members. You are providing entertainment.

Its obvious you care what his reaction is but remember this is how you are paying your bills. Its not really different than any other job. You show up do your job and earn money.

Not everyone is comfortable however with the adult industry. Hopefuly he is understanding when you discuss this with him

 

[AngelNery]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I brought the subject up not so long ago with him, that if i ever loose my job i would consider doing webcam chat. He's reaction was worrying, " you're too good for that". I said nobody would know, he said he's friends ( being computer geeks ) are able to break " into that stuff". However i don't really think he knows much about this kind of job, as the majority so obviously he has misconceptions as lots of people. I asked him if it would be over for us if i had started doing this job, he said probably not, but he still seemed worried and deep in his thoughts. I really don't want to loose him. i invested a lot emotionally in this relationship.

 

[Bocefish]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

Secrets are never good in a serious relationship...Find the right moment and let him know you have a secret you need to tell him. It might not go over well at first, but after he understands more about what you do and don't do, you may actually grow closer.

 

[AngelNery]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I will try to verify my model account with Ambercutie as most of you suggested, I understand this subject can be very personal and we can discuss it better in the models only section.

 

[AlexLady]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

If you're worried about non-model's input or seeing it you can ask for this thread to be deleted, but I don't think they will do any harm at all.

They have great advice and can give us more of a male's view.




I would tell him when you can. If he doesn't want you to keep a job that you're happy with well... I'm sorry girl.

 

[AluraCurvyBBW]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

It was not suggested that you verify as a model to not share this outside of fellow models.

The gentlemen on this site have very good insight and feedback. Its just suggested that since you are a model we can also post their if you have model related questions or issues.

With his reaction I would maybe mention that a lot of your average people have done varied things to pay bills.

Honestly would he prefer you go work a strip club? Where safety and security is a issue? Sites like mfc pay hackers to protect information. Little known fact unless your amish your gonna have a pic on the web somewhere.

Keeping this from him may result in you having to choose him or the camming.

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I see you got model status! Awesome!

 

[Anita_Toro]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

i am totally alone in this world :dance: anyone fucks my life

 

[AngelNery]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I wouldn't worry either if i was single. But i can't be forever single, and now somebody came in my life that matters and makes me happy. All I want is to be loved and have a normal life.

 

[SatanJonez]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I wouldn't worry either if i was single. But i can't be forever single, and now somebody came in my life that matters and makes me happy. All I want is to be loved and have a normal life.

If he can't accept your job/you can't tell him then you're in the wrong profession. :?

 

[LacieLaPlante]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I didn't worry about it when I was single and then I met this great guy.. and I told him up front about being a cam girl.

Well he's partially the reason I can't be online that often, very demanding of my time outside of school. He's very paranoid that I might leave him for a fan or any passing man. Wuh-oh.

 

[MilaMilan]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

Difficult situation.. it is difficult to keep this kind of work private or a secret when you are going to live with someone....
And even if you could, you would still be looking over your shoulder all the time ...Is he coming home earlier, how fast can I close my room ... Most guys will be afraid that eventually you will leave them for a 'rich whale' of a client ...which of course can also happen in regular life...... I personally would tell him ..but that is me....good luck and I hope the advice you are getting here helps...

 

[AlexLady]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I dunno. I wouldn't say anything like "I could be a stripper..." because honest this job isn't lowly or dangerous. Stripping can be slightly dangerous but there are girls out there that love it just as much as we do camming.


Just tell him what you truely love about your job when you let him know what you do.

Hell it took my partner a while to understand that just because I'm on cam it doesn't mean I'm sitting there fisting myself all day. (Exaggerated but still.)

 

[AluraCurvyBBW]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

any job runs the risk of interaction with outside people

i cant recall who said it think it was frankie but if your with someone and you cant tell them or are afraid to tell them then maybe another job is the key. all i can say is if you value your relationship your better off sitting down and talking before he finds out some other way and than it will not be pretty if he feels he was lied to. men and women do not like being lied to or feeling lied to.

if he is not mature enough to realize this is a job (albeit a fun one) and you log in to work than log out and spend time with him - than maybe he is not the one for you

love does not mean hiding what you do for a living or what makes you happy from that person. it does not mean hiding a large portion of your life from them either. so frankly- unless you plan on hiding the entire relationship what you do should you move in together honestly your better off talking to them

this economy sucks, job market is tough as fuck. and you have a job you can do from home and not worry about any of that.

 

[AshaSnow]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I'm doing my best to imagine if I was in your situation.

It is definitely best to just sit him and down and explain that you have never really told anyone about your web cam job. That it became second nature to you to just not bring it up and to hide it as something you were afraid of being judged about, but that it makes really good money and is very safe since you do it from the comfort of your own home with the protection of a computer screen. The fact that you haven't really ever told anyone before might make him feel special, that you are finally willing to share this with him. So, like others have said, it might in fact bring you closer

 

[mica2022]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I wouldn't worry either if i was single. But i can't be forever single, and now somebody came in my life that matters and makes me happy. All I want is to be loved and have a normal life.

If he can't accept your job/you can't tell him then you're in the wrong profession. :?

You should tell him. I dont know how and if he will accept it.

As of now, you have 2 options:
1. You continue, then sooner or later he will discover by himself, which will be bad.
2. You stop, then you still run the risc that at some point in time, he will discover it.

If he truely loves you, he will accept it. Except if he has "strict" morals (read: limited moral views). If he can not accept it, he should help you get a "better" well-paid job.
If he breaks up, he is maybe not the right one.

But that´s just my opinion, and I am not a mainstream guy...

 

[AngelNery]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

It' not whether i'm going to tell him, or not. I will certainly tell him, even if i faint, only god knows what kind of anxiety attacks i have just thinking about it. What i,m mostly curious about is that, how you models built your work around your relationship, especially if he's around the house; or having a full time job; how much do you let him be involved in your work? Do you just tell him "hun, i got to work now" and close the door behind you, or let him see you what you actually do on cam; how is he accepting your hectic, sometimes long hours. Do you have any rules between you regarding your job. Yes, i have lots of questions to you girls :-D and i value your experiences.

 

[mica2022]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

i am totally alone in this world :dance: anyone fucks my life

Not totally alone....muah

 

[AshaSnow]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I live with my boyfriend so I can answer those questions:

When I am about to turn my cam on I'll say "okay I'm getting on cam now". I like to cam in the living room, the kitchen, and my room. So I always make sure the cam is facing in a direction where he can still get through. I talk to him while I'm on cam (yelling so he can hear me in the next room over) if something really funny happens or if I need to ask him something. I do breakfast shows so I'll make breakfast on cam and then either bring him his breakfast and continue camming or tell my guys I'll be back and get offline so I can eat with him. When he had a job (his internship ended last month), I still preferred camming at night but I would also work in the early afternoon before he got home and get offline when he got home. We'd spend some time together and then I would walk the dog or cam, or walk the dog and then cam and not see him till the morning (we have separate bedrooms which I know is a little odd, but his sleep schedule isn't even near the same as mine and when he wants to get himself off before bed and I'm already asleep it's nice that he can just go sleep in his own room without disturbing me). The hard times are when I worked 9 hours a day every day in August. He started feeling neglected and I had to unexpectedly cancel my cam time for a day here and there. I only do that sort of schedule once every few months though so most of the time there's plenty of freedom for him to spend time with me and me to work while he's playing computer games or working. He has always been very supportive of my job so that's a plus. He leaves me alone while I work and we do things together when I'm free.

Hope this helps!

 

[TinyTitSlut]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

My bf got me on mfc but he says im so consumed with mfc that im losing my social skills and i wont make new friends, and we fight a lot about that.

 

[Eva_ChangeN]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

I live with my boyfriend so I can answer those questions:

When I am about to turn my cam on I'll say "okay I'm getting on cam now". I like to cam in the living room, the kitchen, and my room. So I always make sure the cam is facing in a direction where he can still get through. I talk to him while I'm on cam (yelling so he can hear me in the next room over) if something really funny happens or if I need to ask him something. I do breakfast shows so I'll make breakfast on cam and then either bring him his breakfast and continue camming or tell my guys I'll be back and get offline so I can eat with him. When he had a job (his internship ended last month), I still preferred camming at night but I would also work in the early afternoon before he got home and get offline when he got home. We'd spend some time together and then I would walk the dog or cam, or walk the dog and then cam and not see him till the morning (we have separate bedrooms which I know is a little odd, but his sleep schedule isn't even near the same as mine and when he wants to get himself off before bed and I'm already asleep it's nice that he can just go sleep in his own room without disturbing me). The hard times are when I worked 9 hours a day every day in August. He started feeling neglected and I had to unexpectedly cancel my cam time for a day here and there. I only do that sort of schedule once every few months though so most of the time there's plenty of freedom for him to spend time with me and me to work while he's playing computer games or working. He has always been very supportive of my job so that's a plus. He leaves me alone while I work and we do things together when I'm free.

Hope this helps!

My Hubby and I have the same kinda thing go on, he will knock on the wall if he needs to run to the next room or tell me something. We talked about it just like you did before I started, and when my job cut my hours from40+ down to about 15 a week, we really didnt have much choice.. I dont make bank, but he is happy when $70-$200= rolls in and I didnt have to use gas $ or anything LOL I have been on MFC since Feb, but didnt start camming until June-July and am just starting to find my way. You really gotta be upfront. Hiding it will eat you up and cause un-needed friction. Talk it out and see if you cant meet on commin ground. For the first bit, my hubby didnt want me to show anything, then slowly came around to me doing shows

 

[Jebbaz]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

My bf got me on mfc but he says im so consumed with mfc that im losing my social skills and i wont make new friends, and we fight a lot about that.

Set your hours like a traditional job and stick to them, then go be social outside of work? Thats what most of us schmucks do.

 

[TinyTitSlut]

Re: How is your webcam model job affecting your relationshi

My bf got me on mfc but he says im so consumed with mfc that im losing my social skills and i wont make new friends, and we fight a lot about that.

Set your hours like a traditional job and stick to them, then go be social outside of work? Thats what most of us schmucks do.

i have set hours but and i dont work weekends plus i sleep alot from it lol i love sleep