Hi everyone. I’ve been caming on Chaturbate for almost 6 months. It’s been rough and hard but I feel I was getting to a better place. Since a couple of months one of my biggest tippers became green and had been in my room every day. He encouraged me and helped me out when I was losing motivation. We used to talk a lot about al random different things and became friends. For some reason that I don’t understand he started to monopolise my room, other tippers started to never show up and even other green members told me they were feeling uncomfortable with him in the room and his constant comments and behaviour. This guy became so obsessed with me that he started to have tantrums about everything I do, from private shows to me skipping a day of transmission. I had several conversations and even discussions where he end up understanding and apologising. I started my OnlyFans few weeks ago and he was one of the first subscribers. Then the tantrums came back but this time with insults and rage (all because I post a PPV video with a boy) Since then things got worse, he quit OnlyFans and also CB because he knew I was hoping to move to OnlyFans and quit CB and the reason is I been diagnosed with cancer and I’m under treatment so I feel sick most of the time. I came back to CB today very excited and he was there as anonymous. When I finished my transmission I got a huge message from him on Snapchat telling me I’m a bitch, a liar and a loser because I said I will be leaving by the end of the month and I broadcast. For my surprise he found out my real Instagram, so now he knows my name, where I live, my family members, my friends and everything. I talked to him several times and I was pacient enough to explain to him situations, but this time he has go to far. I block him everywhere, even his whole country on Chaturbate but I’m scared of him now. I’m thinking of starting a new account in CB with a different name and his country blocked but I will lose all my followers. I can’t quit because of my medical bills and I don’t want to either. I really need help on what to do and how. Is to much to deal at the moment. Thank you for read such long post.
I haven't dealt with stalkers myself, but I've had friends (who were girls) go through the issues, and I've admin'd on a decently toxic site where there were plenty of stalker types who actively tried to harass users, so I've gotten a knack of their crap they try to pull... from manipulation, to blackmail, to threats, to cyber stalking, to even trying to trace the person down IRL. (The many PM logs I've had to sort through have been disconcerting to say the least.)
From everything I've learned about their situations, the best thing you can do in this crummy situation is RBI - report, block, and ignore. If he is somehow local and committing actions against you at some point, file a police report and/or restraining order. It may seem tempting at some point to say something to them or plead to them to stop, etc., but in almost all situations, this will only make things worse. Realize this: these stalker types may seem to care about you too much, but on a deeper level, they really don't care one bit about your feelings. Nothing you say or do will magically change their mind if they don't want to. Making any interaction/reaction with him gives him a couple things 1.) more feeling of a connection with you so that he is motivated more 2.) the feeling he is making progress in your desperation so he can try and manipulate you into getting him what he wants. Any lies they try to give you otherwise are just that -- lies. The apologies are lies. The threats are lies ("I'll leave you alone after you do ____."). It's all manipulation tactics.
Being scared is natural. After all, there are even sites out there that can scan your face from a picture and do a reverse internet search of it through the internet. However, I urge you not to let this stalker stop you do from doing what you want to do. Once you RBI him, it'll demotivate him after some point. He may continue to push after you for a bit to try and make some attempt at saying "I'm not giving up" but generally speaking... they really do just give up. Have good internet privacy, sure, like not leaving our instagram fully public if you don't want the full public seeing your instagram... but don't let him run your life. Do what you like. You deserve to live not in fear. That's why I don't even think you should delete your instagram or your CB account.
From a more pessimistic but realistic point of view, if he is going to do something against you, he is going to do it. You can't change a person's heart. If you've taken whatever reasonable preventive measures you could without hurting your mental health, livelihood, etc., there isn't much you can do to stop him from doing the action. There are means of encouraging him, and means of dealing with his actions afterwards, but not stopping him to the fullest. That's why I say to live your life like this guy doesn't exist, because in all honesty, he shouldn't. Fuck this rando.