Camgirl who says she misses me

[boycat]

I am curious - have you ever messaged any of your clients saying that you miss them and want to see them?

A model whom I like very much has sent me messages now and then saying she misses me and wants to see me in exclusive. I have interpreted this is her wanting to build her business, NOT her actually missing me, although I suppose it's not unusual for a model to want to see clients she already knows rather than starting from scratch. The main reason I don't see her more than I do is money - I only have enough to have one lengthy exclusive session per month at most. Another reason is that I need to wait for a time when I am completely alone in our small house at a time when I am in the mood. But it messes with my head... this model is very nice to me and tells me a lot of stuff about her life such that it makes me feel like we are friends. I actually feel guilty for not seeing her more, and I know that is messed up because camming isn't about charity it's about paying someone to do a job.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

she misses me and wants to see me in exclusive

This is the part that matters. Some people message their regular viewers to spark interest in a private show soon outside of the camroom. It's a marketing tactic. If she missed you as a real friend, she wouldn't put your time together behind a paywall.

Don't feel guilty; tipping/shows are meant to be fun. Tell her you'll see her next month/whenever you're in the mood for it.

Edit: You might be a favourite regular of hers; I know I'm more open about my personal interests/life with the viewers I like a lot. But none of us here can read her mind and confirm/deny that to you.
Either way, I'm sure that if she valued you, she wouldn't want you to go over your budget, so don't stress about that. Affirm that you can't do it right now.

 

[MarieElise]

Ditto as above. I have never messaged someone and said I missed them, but need to see them in a paid show. I message people who I like to say Hi to, once in a while, but only when I'm off, and I feel like chatting via PM, not for paid shows. I would feel mortified, and pestering to do that. On other forums, in the past, I have heard that some cam sites coach their models to act like they want to date etc ,for more business/ as a marketing strategy. I have never worked for such a site, and never would. I don't think that the 3 main big ones do that. There are also Dipshits online, that make blogs saying that if you want to be successful you should always act like you are single, and like you are crazy about every one of your visitors. That is total crap, bad advice. I do well, and I never do that. Boundaries are good, or the fun is ruined for everyone.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I tell people who I genuinely enjoy in my exclusives that I miss them when they pop back in if I haven't seem in awhile but I never message anyone to tell them that. I have my favorites that I have a lot of fun with and feel more comfortable sharing more of myself with them in our shows together. It can be personal as in she finds the show fun or it can be financial--either way enjoy the compliment Don't feel guilty! You can always just say you miss her too & are planning to do a show when you can in the future. We totally understand, at least most of us do.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

Yeah, I agree with @EliMarie717, I always found it to be too aggressive for my own standard. I don't want to hunt people down for shows, I want them to come to me voluntarily. I can't hate people for doing it, though; I'm sure it brings in money faster and more predictably, and I've had someone tell me along the lines of, "it's a fantasy, they know it's not a dating site." But it does blur lines when you really like somebody, and so it's bound to cause guilt and pressure for the other side, like in this thread.

Good on you OP for recognising that it's her job but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. I'd recommend you take some time for yourself if you need it.

 

[Parking]

You're right camming isn't a charity, and even charity workers sometimes need to be paid. I've interacted with quite a number of cam girls, some of them say they miss me and ask me to see them soon in private or exclusive; I always decline politely. Just keep this in mind, if she likes you at the point of "missing you", then she would be happy to talk to you on free chat or inbox messages.

 

[AudriTwo]

Camming is a sale job. Her telling you she misses you and to take her to exclusive is probably her pitch to get you to spend money. She probably could genuinely miss you, but I'm putting my money that she misses you paying her more.

I hear the "missed you let's go exclusive" line a lot. It's also a studio tactic to have their models tell returning members they missed them.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Agree with what's been said previously. She's marketing you for a private and money. Which, technically isn't doing anything wrong, so long as you know and understand that's what it's about.

 

[SaffronBurke]

It sounds like this is on Streamate. Models are able to send mass messages to past paying customers - it's quite possible that this is what she's doing, rather than messaging you in particular.

 

[boycat]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies!

 

[Smores]

I am curious - have you ever messaged any of your clients saying that you miss them and want to see them?

A model whom I like very much has sent me messages now and then saying she misses me and wants to see me in exclusive.

I am 100% sure this is a sales pitch. She is tying the concept of missing you to you paying her. That's a quid pro quo.

I have had many camgirls message me offline and be short and playful, but in the end it usually becomes clear that I am a customer and they are marketing to me.

One way to tell that a camgirl might like you: she starts to message you offline with long messages that have no real attachment to her getting paid. I had one camgirl about four months ago who started sending me emails that were really deep and thoughtful. My own personality flaw is that I tend to want to respond to all the points, and our thread grew over the course of a month to the point where it was starting to consume my life. I mean literally I would wake up in the morning and there would be four emails - all of them quite long and detailed - and it was actually a joy at first but then I realized it was not going to be a real relationship and I had to stop it. She is one of the best people I have met online, and I am still struggling how to get back with her and have a proper balance. I want her as a friend but I tend to be all or nothing and I have a problem knowing how to just give part of myself in appropriate doses. In any case, be careful what you wish for because you may get it.

In the example you give you can literally come back to her with "I can only afford to do this once a month and I have some scheduling problems as well." You don't need to explain it or feel guilty. Her sales inquiry is being met with a truthful customer objection, and she probably will not do more than say "too bad".

 

[couldnotbemore]

Seems like you have your head on straight, just be honest with her on what you can afford.

It probably hurts because there might be part of you that wishes it was more/ meant something else. Just continue to set healthy boundaries for yourself .