Cam Model/Cam Performer: infatuations rant/defense (Gay perspective)

[OilOceanZone]

I'm gonna try to keep this short sweet and to the point. Also really doubting posting this. But, here goes. I'm really concerned, and vexed right now, and I been lurking AC forums for quite a bit. I'm a very sex positive person. I'm a very positive performance art person. I'm very body positive. I'm very pro sex worker. etc. I work in graphic design, so I'm very liberal minded when it comes to free positivity etc. Although I'm not a cam model myself, it's not my thing personally, I just support the cam model business though etc. Way way way back in the day, in a past life, I may, or may, not have done some Xtube stuff, but I plead the fifth lol.

I'm Black American/African-American, and gay, and I have autism; so I'm the last person to judge. So I'm not saying any of this out of judgment. However, as I said, I'm really plagued and puzzled and concerned over this issue. That I finally decided to register, and offer my point/side, on this very common topic, on being attracted/infatuated, with cam models.

All relationships that are legitimate and not false or sham relationships, are based on attraction. Usually it's mental attraction/commonality/chemistry etc., but let's not kid ourselves, attraction is level pegged towards how someone face looks, how someones body looks, and how their sensuality/sex appeal is etc.

So one common argument I see from these posts is, "How could you be attracted to a cam model?", Which on paper yes, it seems kinda trite. But if you think about it, it's not that uncommon or uncanny. Miscellany, we are also in lockdown times, so doing IRL dating is shutdown. So more natural for us to be drawn to cam model attraction; Also, and there are people, myself included, who feel dating apps are a waste of time, and give false hope, and refrain from using them normally. So yeah.

Also, this is the last point I'm gonna make, as promised, I don't want this to be long, and I'm trying to make this post spicy and intriguing enough, yet concise etc. This particular, titular, tentative, issue, has happened to me, go figure lol.

There is a male cam Chaturbate model (as I'm gay, so I'm attracted to men, obviously lol). He's not that conventionally hunky stud attractive, but he's kinda haggard, like a present day dorky Matthew Perry, Dad Bod/bearish type, with kinda a little gut to him. (I know with male cam models, it's tricky with their appearance, but bear with me etc. lol. I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I'm not that conventionally hunky attractive myself. I kinda look like Billy Porter a bit etc.) He doesn't even know I exist. I like his shows, which I have seen a few of, when I do catch him online. I do look at other guys, but something about him in particular, deadass. lol. I don't know. I am always silent in the chatbox; and I have tipped him a couple times. etc. Although, I only been watching him for about a year and a half, off and on, his profile says he been on Chaturbate for several years, and he's only a few years older than me. (If his birthdate on his profile isn't incorrect). Although he has thousands and thousands of followers, his shows, don't garner that many people, but a moderate amount of people do show up on his shows.

I'm scared you guys might know who he is, like people really into cam models, but I'm not gonna name drop him. So he does his usual show; But he also gets sidetracked very frequently, and rambles and rants very often, and talks about like Sci Fi movies, and Star Wars, and Star Trek, and history and politics. Oh dear, I better stop, as I think some of y'all might know exactly who I'm talking about, although to my knowledge he's not on this board, but still. You guys get the idea.

Anyways, I'm single, I'm lonely. I'm getting older, and it would be nice to have a boyfriend. I just keep thinking how he seems like the perfect guy. I'm just saying how I kinda get it now. Even though I'm gay, and most of the guys making these posts are straight. But I kinda see it now. But nothing is probably gonna happen. I mean I guess I could roll the dice, and try to hit him up and message him. However, I think he's straight, and is aware that gay men watch his shows, but doesn't care etc. Even then, I think realistically, he might be down for something casual (which is very prevalent in the gay community specifically) but nothing serious, if even that etc. But I just wanted to kinda erase the stigma, that it's okay to infatuate and crush on models, like if we didn't feel connected to them, we wouldn't be watching their shows etc.

However, the fact some of you guys are kinda not empathetic to this issue. That's what caused me to bite the bullet, and make this post. I just hate how it's now 2022, so people are finding mates and partners in a variety of ways, and I really hate how being attracted and infatuated with a cam model, is such a taboo or uncanny thing. Even if chances are zilch and impossible of you forming a relationship with them, you miss every shot you don't take, so there is no harm in trying, considering if everyone is normal, and we're just all lonely humans etc. But more on the point on realizing it's not gonna happen, but at least still being empathetic and understanding, of how feelings and infatuations work.

That's all. Part of me will probably regret posting this but oh well. I went back and forth about five times, telling myself to just quit whilst I'm ahead and delete this, but no. I'm gonna post it, and feel free to either agree, disagree, neural, indifferent, any kind of reception, discourse, or input is appreciated. Thank you.

 

[AmberCutie]

You realize he's probably straight, just doing cam shows open to attention from gay guys because it pays well. He's been a cam model for a while, as you said. He's good at his job.

If you take a chance and tell him you're into him and want a boyfriend, the chances are greater of you irritating him than landing him as a boyfriend. So that's the risk you take.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I'm reading this as a post to discuss how we respond to "in love with a cam performer" posts. So, I'm not going to comment on your experience that you shared, except to say that it surely gives you some bias.

I think you are asking a lot from us, to be patient with each and every confused lost soul who comes here day after day, hour after hour, to post the same old story. Expecting a different outcome. Unwilling to listen to folks who discuss the reality of the situation. This forum is here for us to discuss our profession. The people who make those posts are off topic, not helpful, and generally aggressive to the community. Why would we be responsible for taking care of their emotions and psyche?

 

[Deleted member 45270]

I just hate how it's now 2022, so people are finding mates and partners in a variety of ways, and I really hate how being attracted and infatuated with a cam model, is such a taboo or uncanny thing.

I don't think most people on this board think it's taboo, it's just that the camboy is there to work - it's his job, it's not a dating site even though he might talk about his personal interests. People are usually streaming many hours a day, they are bound to talk about something personal.
He has probably been asked out by many different men on the camsite.
The brutal truth is, you won't be the first to say that you have feelings, and you won't be the last. It's a bad situation for both the broadcaster and viewer to go through it.

You're right that you miss every shot you don't take, but if this guy liked you back, he would be making an effort to get in private contact with you off-site, and not have you pay a cent to keep spending time with him.

I think you would have a better time on dating sites, or meeting people through forums, social media, etc, where people are more on the same page as you. I know covid mandates has impacted things like gay clubs, but those spaces still exist, both online and offline.
Just like a camboy should ideally lay down professional boundaries, members have to take personal responsibility and ideally bow out if they're starting to want something more than adult entertainment. If you're looking for relationships on camsites, you'll have less time to look for them in other spaces, so don't keep spending time in his chatroom if you're feeling this way, because it'll only hurt more over time.

 

[Marceline]

However, the fact some of you guys are kinda not empathetic to this issue. That's what caused me to bite the bullet, and make this post. I just hate how it's now 2022, so people are finding mates and partners in a variety of ways, and I really hate how being attracted and infatuated with a cam model, is such a taboo or uncanny thing.

Being attracted to a cam model isn't a bad thing. I don't even think it's a bad thing to have a small crush on someone as long as you are aware that the person is unattainable and you don't allow it to progress any further than that, for both of your sakes.

However, when people think that they are "in love" with someone that they have never met, someone who is just doing a job so that they can pay their bills, that's when others will get critical. It's not healthy for anyone involved. It's usually really awkward for the performer and can damage a member's wallet/emotions. And sometimes, it can devolve into a much worse situation.

The reason why you don't see a lot of empathy on these posts is because our empathy has been worn down years ago. There's only so many times you can say the same thing before it starts getting annoying. Also, most of the models who post in these threads have had their own experiences with members overstepping boundaries and/or looking way too much into the interactions and catching feelings. We know how awkward and even sometimes difficult it can be when someone who you don't have feelings for, and never led on, misinterpreted your paid interactions with one another.

He doesn't even know I exist. I like his shows, which I have seen a few of, when I do catch him online.

I just keep thinking how he seems like the perfect guy.

These two quotes almost perfectly sums up what a parasocial relationship is. The thing is, you like what he allows his audience to see. There's so many people who become infatuated with cam models, or really any sort of online/media personality. The thing is, you can't truly be in love with someone who you don't really know. When you've only seen their good side, the side that they've carefully curated for their audience so that they can make money. I honestly believe you can't be in love with some until you've seen them in their not so great moments. When they've had a bad day, when they wake up in the morning and don't feel well, when they are dealing with life or family troubles. Can you be infatuated or even obsessed with an online personality? Absolutely. But it can very quickly get to a point where it's not healthy and most people, here and elsewhere, won't encourage that sort of unhealthy behavior.

 

[AmberCutie]

Additional note:

So one common argument I see from these posts is, "How could you be attracted to a cam model?",

I don't think we ever ask this question. We depend on people being attracted to us.

The problem comes when members ask "is cam model falling in love with ME". That's where we adamantly remind people that cam models are selling attraction, selling fantasy, selling that feeling of "love" and no, cam model is not really falling in love with you.

 

[Marceline]

DPing, so sorry for that, but I'm probably going to miss the edit window for my last post.

I am going to be brutally honest here, at the risk of possibly coming off as a major asshole.

Also, and there are people, myself included, who feel dating apps are a waste of time, and give false hope, and refrain from using them normally. So yeah.

I briefly addressed this in one of the most recent "in love with a cam model" threads.

Try dating sites, because camsites aren't for dating or finding love. But they also don't want to do that. Why? Because you generally can't pay the women you meet on dating sites to act the way you want them to act. You're getting real, genuine interactions. And if you have a shitty personality, those interactions won't be pleasant. It takes more work. And also, let's be real, a lot of men probably don't think they'd match with women who look like the women they find on camsites.

Now, I agree that dating sites can be frustrating. I'm a conventionally attractive woman, and I tried dating sites in the past with absolutely no luck. Sure, I got matches, but actually finding someone I clicked with wasn't easy. However, they do work. My current partner and I met through Tinder and he's absolutely wonderful. But it took time, effort and wading through a lot of duds to find that gem of a man.

Most people don't want to put forth the effort. Whether that effort be taking decent pictures and spicing up your profile to make it more enticing so people are more inclined to swipe right or actually engaging in a meaningful, fun and respectful way when you do match with someone. Dating and relationships take work and effort. But, we live in a society where we are so used to instant gratification, so for some people it's like, why put forth the effort into meeting people who are genuinely interested in being with me when I can just watch and pay a cam model to give me attention? Not to mention, you can just pay for guaranteed sexual gratification with a cam model, whereas with the people you meet through online dating, that is never a guarantee. There's obviously nothing wrong with getting sexual gratification from cam models, but it does become a problem when you think it's more than that. Especially when the vast amount of cam models are either in relationships or not looking for one with a cam member and are there simply to make money. Why should your feelings trump theirs?

And then there's this:

All relationships that are legitimate and not false or sham relationships, are based on attraction. Usually it's mental attraction/commonality/chemistry etc., but let's not kid ourselves, attraction is level pegged towards how someone face looks, how someones body looks, and how their sensuality/sex appeal is etc.

I absolutely 100% agree with this. And that's where I come to my next point, I honestly believe that a lot of the men who refuse to use dating sites and instead try to date cam models are doing it because they do not believe that the people they find attractive will also be attracted to them. I can't really think of a nicer way to put this, but, they don't want to date people who are more on par with their looks. They want to date gorgeous people, who would more often that not be unattainable to them (or at least, that's what they think), so they go to cam sites, browse until they find the person with their ideal looks, and go on to start a transactional relationship, with the hopes of wooing them.

And I honestly believe using the lockdowns as an excuse is just a cop out. If your area still has lockdowns and you're using that logic to not meet people through online dating, why would it be any easier to date a cam model who may very well not even live in your same country?

Anyway, I don't think the online dating angle has really been discussed a lot in these threads, so there it is.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Have you researched parasocial relationships? He seems like the perfect guy because he is showing you an image - a facade .. that is supposed to make you want to spend on him. He's creating a fantasy version of himself.

"You miss every shot you don't take" - there are social norms and etiquette that applies when someone is working - especially in a service Industry. There's a power imbalance. My waitress is cute and flirty and I like her so I give her my number. Her job is to be nice to me - she needs to not offend me for her tip. What an awkward situation to place her in. This is similar. You're a customer. It is inappropriate for you to ask him out and it puts him in a difficult situation.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

@Marceline I don't think you're an asshole, I think you're absolutely correct.

I think you've hit the nail on the head for most people. When they're seeing the cam models be happy - whether the models are genuinely having fun at their job or just being good entertainers -they think they're doing something right with the person who's their type (it would have to be their type or else they wouldn't have clicked on the room). It's a self-esteem issue to look at sex work as the only way out of being single rather than a temporary entertainment option, or a confidence boost to help them feel comfortable enough in their sexuality to go out and find relationships.

For me, the one time I've crushed on a camboy, I was really socially isolated and lonely. I would tip because it feels great to have someone you crush on to be happy.
It didn't start off as a crush, but shortly after it did, I stopped going. I recognised it as a bad situation that would only compound over time and had to quit going to the chatroom cold turkey.

I'm glad parasocial relationships/misusing sites' intended purpose are becoming more discussed in the past year or so.
You have to take personal responsibility for your feelings, even if you're in a bad situation in life. If it's stopping you from seeking relationships in other areas of life, you have to stop going there.

 

[OilOceanZone]

I appreciate the replies, and everyone is exactly right. You know what, I was a little inebriated when I made this post, and I feel this was a terrible mistake, and I like this community, and it dawned on me, how sensitive, and triggering and off-topic this is. I would like this thread to be closed please. Thank you.

 

[AudriTwo]

have you ever thought about talking with a therapist about how you want to date unobtainable men in inappropriate settings?

that's not a read, but a genuine question.

 

[melanieoncam]

Just want to point out that customers never seem to care that the cam model may lose his or her account permanently for discussing offsite meetings or providing outside contact info. There goes what may be the model's only income source.

Most cam sites have gotten super strict about this recently due to new laws and payment processor becoming more strict. I give one warning and then permanently ban. Not going to lose my account just because a viewer wants to ignore the rules.

 

[AmberCutie]

I would like this thread to be closed please.

Gonna let the discussion run its course.

 

[OilOceanZone]

have you ever thought about talking with a therapist about how you want to date unobtainable men in inappropriate settings?

that's not a read, but a genuine question.

Hmm. I don't know if I'm being misunderstood. I just said that there is a live cam model, he's very unconventional looking. Like he's not Tom Cruise or Chris Hemsworth looking, which I would wholeheartedly understand etc. There are many cam guys that there is no way, you have a snowball chance in hell with. etc. But idk, he's just more normal and relatable. Like he's more haggard and rough, and kinda dorky and nerdy etc. I am also aware of the situation and circumstances. I understand fully how cam models, generally speaking, don't appreciate this, and some may be creeped or weirded out by it. I get it. But I just wanted to give my side of it, and I realize and understand what's going on, and the circumstnaces. I know my chances of being with him are pretty much slim and none, but based on the circumstances, I do see him as an ideal partner, or it would be nice, god willing, if I did meet a guy just like him in real life. etc. That's all. Even though dating as a gay black man here in the Los Angeles area, is very tough and difficult. I'm not in my 20s anymore either, so it's getting more tough etc. I just don't think I'm living that much in a fantasy land. I also feel my mental health matters is business to remain my own, and I feel I've chosen to reveal way too much already on that. But I do appreciate your concern, and I just wanted to clear that up.

Just want to point out that customers never seem to care that the cam model may lose his or her account permanently for discussing offsite meetings or providing outside contact info. There goes what may be the model's only income source.

Most cam sites have gotten super strict about this recently due to new laws and payment processor becoming more strict. I give one warning and then permanently ban. Not going to lose my account just because a viewer wants to ignore the rules.

I had no idea that performers could get into trouble for hinting at meetups or planning real life encounters during their shows. So with that, I guess it's kinda official then, that for all intents and purposes, generally, not to dwell or discuss things such as this with performers. They are simply doing their job, which I get.

However, my main point and objective, was just I noticed several posts as of late on here, (and mind you, I did ask for this discussion to be closed, and I feel this is gonna be the last post I make on this, because this topic is now making me uncomfortable, and it seems despite with my devil's advocate opinion, it's agreed on what the general answer and reception to this is.) kinda really shaming people for feeling infatuated with a cam performer, when I think for the most part, people don't look at every cam performer and are like, "I want them to be my lover", but speaking for myself included, it is possible to find a particular model you connect with, and it's human nature, and a natural reaction to feel lust towards them, and it's live video chat, so it's even more immersing etc.; and and you can argue that I guess there is a fine complicated line, between sex workers, and just adult video chat rooms, when it comes to these sites, it's very confusing, I'm sorry, to where nobody is right or wrong in my opinion. One person can say it's simply professional, another person can say, even if the rules downright forbid it, it's still a way to network. So I don't know.

 

[AmberCutie]

Like he's not Tom Cruise or Chris Hemsworth looking, which I would wholeheartedly understand etc. There are many cam guys that there is no way, you have a snowball chance in hell with. etc. But idk, he's just more normal and relatable. Like he's more haggard and rough, and kinda dorky and nerdy etc.

So… he’s not super hot so he might be more interested in dating a member?

Bro.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Hmm. I don't know if I'm being misunderstood. I just said that there is a live cam model, he's very unconventional looking. Like he's not Tom Cruise or Chris Hemsworth looking, which I would wholeheartedly understand etc. There are many cam guys that there is no way, you have a snowball chance in hell with. etc. But idk, he's just more normal and relatable. Like he's more haggard and rough, and kinda dorky and nerdy etc. I am also aware of the situation and circumstances. I understand fully how cam models, generally speaking, don't appreciate this, and some may be creeped or weirded out by it. I get it. But I just wanted to give my side of it, and I realize and understand what's going on, and the circumstnaces. I know my chances of being with him are pretty much slim and none, but based on the circumstances, I do see him as an ideal partner, or it would be nice, god willing, if I did meet a guy just like him in real life. etc. That's all. Even though dating as a gay black man here in the Los Angeles area, is very tough and difficult. I'm not in my 20s anymore either, so it's getting more tough etc. I just don't think I'm living that much in a fantasy land. I also feel my mental health matters is business to remain my own, and I feel I've chosen to reveal way too much already on that. But I do appreciate your concern, and I just wanted to clear that up.


I had no idea that performers could get into trouble for hinting at meetups or planning real life encounters during their shows. So with that, I guess it's kinda official then, that for all intents and purposes, generally, not to dwell or discuss things such as this with performers. They are simply doing their job, which I get.

However, my main point and objective, was just I noticed several posts as of late on here, (and mind you, I did ask for this discussion to be closed, and I feel this is gonna be the last post I make on this, because this topic is now making me uncomfortable, and it seems despite with my devil's advocate opinion, it's agreed on what the general answer and reception to this is.) kinda really shaming people for feeling infatuated with a cam performer, when I think for the most part, people don't look at every cam performer and are like, "I want them to be my lover", but speaking for myself included, it is possible to find a particular model you connect with, and it's human nature, and a natural reaction to feel lust towards them, and it's live video chat, so it's even more immersing etc.; and and you can argue that I guess there is a fine complicated line, between sex workers, and just adult video chat rooms, when it comes to these sites, it's very confusing, I'm sorry, to where nobody is right or wrong in my opinion. One person can say it's simply professional, another person can say, even if the rules downright forbid it, it's still a way to network. So I don't know.

No one is shaming people for getting a little caught up in the fantasy. We GET why it happens. Parasocial relationships are very easy to fall into. I ended up kinda feeling like I was best friends with a youtuber once. She felt like a Friend. I watched all her vids, I chatted with her other fans in the comments.. I felt like I was part of her life and thought that the facade she was presenting meant that we were clearly very alike. I was sure if we met we would be great friends. I felt so connected to her.

But she had no idea who I was. Lol. And the persona she put online was just that. Not full picture. And real friendships are exchanges.. mutual exchanges not this cycle of consuming content. And I figured that out and stepped back. So I understand how easy it is to get distorted or confused about it all. But when I dish out advice it's usually very straightforward. Because ppl need to hear it laid out clearly. It's not intended to shame However:

We shame people when they lash out at us when they're given well intentioned, honest advice. We shame ppl when we can see them doing toxic or harmful behaviors to others (stalking for example) We laugh a little when people say they've read all the threads but go on to explain their situation is somehow different (when it's absolutely the same). These things are reasonable reactions.

 

[Alex_M_21]

Male cam model here. One of the most tiring parts of the job is having to deal with people who don't know how to draw the line

We entertain people as our job! We don't want to try and date people.

He's nice to you because you tip him but doesn't even know what you look like, it's called a "parasocial relationship", it's a term you should type into Google.

 

[OilOceanZone]

This is the last post I'm making. Again, I requested this post to be locked/purged/closed, and it wasn't. I do see the point you are all making. However, since I'm having personal replies directed at me, I'll just make my point more clear, so there is at least, common ground. etc. Y'all aren't going to see my point, and we aren't going to agree, so this is it. As there is no point of me trying to attempt to meet half way, as it's not going to happen. I know what a "Parasocial Relationship" is, and you can disagree, but I don't feel having feelings for a cam model is necessarily, "Parasocial."

"Parasocial relationships", to me is like saying, "I'm gonna marry Harry Styles, and nobody is gonna stop me." etc. A "Parasocial relationship." usually deals with a celebrity/high figure, who probably doesn't deal with general ordinary public life. They probably have agents, managers, press associates; security/entourage, etc., that you need to consult first, before you even think of wanting to communicate with them, and even then, you're probably going to be told no, if you're not high profile like them, or if you don't work for the media. I'm sure they will have autograph signings, and other fan meetups, but you can pretty much, generally, forget about it etc.

I don't consider Cam models, with very few exceptions, under this category etc. I think cam models are a little more low key, more normal people. I kinda relate having feelings for a cam model, to crushing on the lead singer, or guitarist, bassist, keyboard player, drummer etc. not from a superstar band like Metallica or Aerosmith, but more of a garage/local/city/pub band etc., and later dating them etc. It's not uncommon at all, in fact it's very common and statistically, most of their partners are, fans, muses, roadies, groupies, fanatics, who hype the band during tours. Another final example I'll use, if you play a popular video game or RPG. You happen to develop feelings for people in your guild, or group or team. etc., and there are millions of people online in this game, but you happened to connect with them etc. This is not "Parasocial." "Parasocial", is "Ryan Reynolds is my husband, and he doesn't know it." etc. That type of stuff is "Parasocial", but maybe I'm just ignorant, perhaps.

You're gonna disagree with me, but I'm going to relay this, anyway, damn it. I feel although it's strange, odd, clearly unpopular and uncommon, (and depending on the site, against the rules etc.), I don't think forming an external relationship, possibly a steady and serious relationship with a Cam performer, isn't all that farfetched. I want to point out first of all, and I explained this already, that people aren't going, to model to model, asking every single one out. If someone does that, I would agree, that's very creepy and disgusting. Are there people that do this, I suppose, but this is very rare. People who have affection towards a specific cam model, they see something different, or unique about them; maybe it's their face, their quirks, they mentioned bands or movies or books or hobbies they liked during their shows, just overall chemistry, which yes you can get from a video chat etc. It's really that particular model they been seeing for a while, so it's only natural to at least see where things go. We understand that there is a possibility and probability of the feelings not being mutual, and rejection. We understand, and don't obsess over that, and we already know this could be a factor. We are willing to take that risk at least. As attraction and lust is funny like that. If they say no, tell us to buzz off, and ban us, fine. We respect that, and move on. We tried. Odds are we probably aren't going to do that again a few minutes later, or if we do, it's not going to be instant, like "oh let me go to the next room, maybe they will say yes." I think that's where the misunderstanding is. etc.

Also, no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade. Drew Carey, yes, the geeky famous comedian. "Who's Line", "Price is Right". etc. He of course was putting on a facade/catfish, when talking to her, and didn't reveal he was a famous person until much later, he ended up dating a cam girl he saw online etc. So it's stories like that, to where this category isn't as ambiguous as y'all are making it out to be. But I said what I had to say. We aren't going to agree, well I'm hoping you guys agree now oop lol, but yeah. Y'all take care.

 

[GraysonDrake]

If you try to make a sincere move on this guy he will probably ban you.

This is the last post I'm making. Again, I requested this post to be locked/purged/closed, and it wasn't. I do see the point you are all making. However, since I'm having personal replies directed at me, I'll just make my point more clear, so there is at least, common ground. etc. Y'all aren't going to see my point, and we aren't going to agree, so this is it. As there is no point of me trying to attempt to meet half way, as it's not going to happen. I know what a "Parasocial Relationship" is, and you can disagree, but I don't feel having feelings for a cam model is necessarily, "Parasocial."

"Parasocial relationships", to me is like saying, "I'm gonna marry Harry Styles, and nobody is gonna stop me." etc. A "Parasocial relationship." usually deals with a celebrity/high figure, who probably doesn't deal with general ordinary public life.

This is categorically false. A parasocial relationship is one-sided and the person having it projects a lot of their own idealism and assumptions on to the other person. Hell people have parasocial relationships with fictional characters.

I don't consider Cam models, with very few exceptions, under this category etc. I think cam models are a little more low key, more normal people. I kinda relate having feelings for a cam model, to crushing on the lead singer, or guitarist, bassist, keyboard player, drummer etc. not from a superstar band like Metallica or Aerosmith, but more of a garage/local/city/pub band etc., and later dating them etc.

You are still describing a parasocial relationship.

It's not uncommon at all, in fact it's very common and statistically, most of their partners are, fans, muses, roadies, groupies, fanatics, who hype the band during tours. Another final example I'll use, if you play a popular video game or RPG. You happen to develop feelings for people in your guild, or group or team. etc., and there are millions of people online in this game, but you happened to connect with them etc. This is not "Parasocial."

Nope, incorrect. Still parasocial. You don't understand the definition.

"Parasocial", is "Ryan Reynolds is my husband, and he doesn't know it." etc. That type of stuff is "Parasocial", but maybe I'm just ignorant, perhaps.

You're gonna disagree with me, but I'm going to relay this, anyway, damn it. I feel although it's strange, odd, clearly unpopular and uncommon, (and depending on the site, against the rules etc.), I don't think forming an external relationship, possibly a steady and serious relationship with a Cam performer, isn't all that farfetched.

It is actually, as well as statistically unlikely to the point of negligibility.

You should really be listening to the people who are constantly on the receiving end of stuff like this because we are telling you dude, this isn't something that 99.99% of cam models want. We're not looking for romantic partners. We are looking to make money. This is our job. We deal in attention, orgasms, and fantasies.

Sex work is a service and entertainment industry, not a matchmaking service. Get over it.

 

[AudriTwo]

Dude you are gonna get hustled so hard.

 

[AudriTwo]

Also, no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade. Drew Carey, yes, the geeky famous comedian. "Who's Line", "Price is Right". etc. He of course was putting on a facade/catfish, when talking to her, and didn't reveal he was a famous person until much later, he ended up dating a cam girl he saw online etc. So it's stories like that, to where this category isn't as ambiguous as y'all are making it out to be. But I said what I had to say. We aren't going to agree, well I'm hoping you guys agree now oop lol, but yeah. Y'all take care.

im pretty sure they broke up and he was pretty abusive towards her... if i remember correctly.

 

[WickedTouch]

im pretty sure they broke up and he was pretty abusive towards her... if i remember correctly.

Yeah that's right. Carey turned out to be the manipulative one in that relationship. He kept badgering the girl to give up her camming job, which she wouldn't and he kept blabbing to the media about it. If I recall correctly, he killed it stone dead after he crapped on her privacy by giving away her real name and her son's name in an interview and she walked.

What a tool!

 

[Marceline]

Again, I requested this post to be locked/purged/closed, and it wasn't.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/i-wont-delete-update-edit-threads.12528/

I think cam models are a little more low key, more normal people. I kinda relate having feelings for a cam model, to crushing on the lead singer, or guitarist, bassist, keyboard player, drummer etc. not from a superstar band like Metallica or Aerosmith, but more of a garage/local/city/pub band etc., and later dating them etc

I don't think these two are equal at all. Yeah, people in local bands date or fuck their fans. Why? Because they are generally living in the same city or at least close to one another, having face to face interactions and having the same music interests can be a jumping point for people interested in one another. Oh, not to mention, being in a local band is generally not a full time job and is something people do because they are passionate about music. I was pretty big in my local music scene when I was in my late teens and early 20's, and I even dated a guy from a local band who I first met after a show he did. I can assure you, that is not the same as meeting someone while they are working, trying to pay their bills, and more than likely putting on a persona.

Another final example I'll use, if you play a popular video game or RPG. You happen to develop feelings for people in your guild, or group or team. etc., and there are millions of people online in this game, but you happened to connect with them etc.

Again, not the same. And again, like the example above, I have some real life experience with this. Being in a guild is being a part of a community where you know for sure you already have one big hobby in common. You're enjoying something with other people who enjoy the same exact thing. For people who are really into gaming, you could be spending hours a day talking to members in your guild and becoming good friends with them while you run around in game doing quests together. These aren't paid interactions, this is something both parties are doing willingly. And yes, long distance relationships can form from them. But like I said, these interactions aren't paid for. Both parties are there simply because they are doing something they enjoy with no money, and therefor no need for personas, involved.

The only situation I can see that is on par with asking out a cam model aside from just crushing on a celebrity/media personality, is developing feelings for a server or bartender (or anyone who is doing their job) and asking them out while they are working. In most, actually almost all, cases, it is extremely inappropriate.

I don't know, the way you keep trying to justify asking out cam models and wanting to believe that it's totally okay for members to push their romantic feelings on a model just makes it seem like you really don't care at all about how the model in question would feel. For most people, it will be incredibly awkward and could very well ruin their workflow if you do it while they are streaming. Just like how people don't like being rejected, there's a lot of people who also don't like to reject others, and don't like being put in a situation where they have to do that.