A note to you cam models.

[dilligaf0]

I am a member of MFC and nothing special.
I am very concerned about a model in particular (there may be more that I'm unaware of).
I'm not mentioning her name for her privacy.
She's not on MFC as much as she used to be, but is on once in a while. I've looked in on her room a couple times (as recently as last week), and she's really skinny. She never needed to lose weight, but appears to have done so. My concern is that she is becoming anorexic.
Please ladies, don't do anything like that because of other people's comments. As a member of MFC I can honestly say that we are not worth it!
Nobody else's opinion is worth your health.
Take care of yourselves.

 

[Puffin]

Agreed. Hopefully someone can have a word with her.

I recall MissMolly a while back explaining something to the effect that 'when your income depends on your looks, that small doubts [in your looks] can easily get magnified'

 

[Empress Mika]

Thank you for these beautiful words

On the flip side, models like myself who are naturally very skinny don't need to hear the "eat a hamburger" jokes either so it certainly goes both ways. We ladies come in all different shapes and sizes and, as long as she's healthy, we should do our best to celebrate that.

This said, if she's clearly not healthy because you've witnessed an unhealthy transition as you've stated in your OP, it may be best to speak up to her privately. This type of stress could come from feeling insecure (especially if they seemingly stem from comments on MFC) and what she may need the most right now is a great, concerned friend.. a hero ^_~

 

[JickyJuly]

You REALLY cannot assess whether someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. It's also worth noting that eating disorders are coping mechanisms. The desire to be thin or pretty isn't the cause. Camming might exacerbate things for someone who is on the edge of food issues, but saying "You're pretty! Don't stop eating!" isn't going to help anyone. Bringing up the idea of an eating issue, even if your inkling is correct, will likely just get you banned. If your friend confides in you that she has a problem, give her a hotline number and encourage her to seek professional help. Unless that happens, it's really best to keep speculations of health to yourself.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

You REALLY cannot assess whether someone has an eating disorder by looking at them.

Nope, we can't tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. No one can ever tell. Cause that's just too complicated for us regular folks to tell just by looking at them.

Yeah, gonna have to go ahead and claim bull to that statement. Sometimes ya can tell. We do happen to have brains that can work out the subtle clues.

 

[dilligaf0]

Thank you for these beautiful words

On the flip side, models like myself who are naturally very skinny don't need to hear the "eat a hamburger" jokes either so it certainly goes both ways. We ladies come in all different shapes and sizes and, as long as she's healthy, we should do our best to celebrate that.

This said, if she's clearly not healthy because you've witnessed an unhealthy transition as you've stated in your OP, it may be best to speak up to her privately. This type of stress could come from feeling insecure (especially if they seemingly stem from comments on MFC) and what she may need the most right now is a great, concerned friend.. a hero ^_~

The model I'm referring to has always been naturally skinny. My concern is that she's becoming skinnier (as in you can count her ribs and her legs appear to be more bone that they used to be). It's not her weight that concerns me, it's the extra loss I'm concerned about. I wonder if it is an warning sign.

 

[dilligaf0]

You REALLY cannot assess whether someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. It's also worth noting that eating disorders are coping mechanisms. The desire to be thin or pretty isn't the cause. Camming might exacerbate things for someone who is on the edge of food issues, but saying "You're pretty! Don't stop eating!" isn't going to help anyone. Bringing up the idea of an eating issue, even if your inkling is correct, will likely just get you banned. If your friend confides in you that she has a problem, give her a hotline number and encourage her to seek professional help. Unless that happens, it's really best to keep speculations of health to yourself.

I'm was hoping my post would bring attention to models to try to resist the influence of the opinions of others.
As I stated in an earlier reply, my concern is the change in her appearance. My hope is she will have someone close to her check on her and help her (if she needs it).

 

[JickyJuly]

Nope, we can't tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. No one can ever tell. Cause that's just too complicated for us regular folks to tell just by looking at them.

Yeah, gonna have to go ahead and claim bull to that statement. Sometimes ya can tell. We do happen to have brains that can work out the subtle clues.

I didn't say you cannot tell EVER if someone is underweight. There are plenty of health reasons that lead people to be underweight. That doesn't mean it's a psychological reason. There is a reason that psychologists go to school for like a decade, and none of their medical assessments include looking at a girl on a computer screen from whatever angle she's set up without knowing a thing about her life outside of that. If you wouldn't ask a girl who's eating a cookie if she's diabetic, don't ask a skinny girl if she's anorexic. It's rude and will not lead to anything good.

 

[SexySteph]

Nope, we can't tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. No one can ever tell. Cause that's just too complicated for us regular folks to tell just by looking at them.

Yeah, gonna have to go ahead and claim bull to that statement. Sometimes ya can tell. We do happen to have brains that can work out the subtle clues.

That's entirely different from what Jicky meant.

I'm sure she would concede when someone looks like that, that you can tell but outside of outliers like that, you really can't say one way or another.

People are often absolutely convinced beyond any arguing that I'm suffering from an eating disorder. On the other hand, I've known girls that are on the thicker side that were also suffering from horrible eating disorders.

IMHO in these situations, it's best to butt out. If she does have an eating disorder I'm sure someone in her family or friend group that interacts with her regularly will be able to have a better effect than a random member.

 

[Teagan]

As someone who has been accused of an eating disorder more times than I can count I would suggest keeping your mouth shut on this one as a member. (For the record I am just small naturally.) I fully understand people who have concern and wanna be helpful and are just caring humans with concern for their friends however the last thing she is gonna wanna hear (whether she has one or not) is weight talk. No woman really likes it no matter their weight. And as a member it is in no way your place to mention it and would likely result in a ban on you.
If she is truly suffering from an ED I hope she does get some much needed help however counting ribs is in no way proof of such. There are a ton of other reasons she could be losing weight.

 

[dilligaf0]

Okay. I raised this out of genuine concern, but it seems to be deteriorating and I don't want that. This is my last comment on this subject and will let it die.

 

[Teagan]

Okay. I raised this out of genuine concern, but it seems to be deteriorating and I don't want that. This is my last comment on this subject and will let it die.

I understand your concern and while admirable to care you're assuming it's an ED which is the part that is not okay just to be clear. It may be a million other things. Im just trying to explain that assuming someone has one if offensive cause small framed girls get accused of it all the time. Its just as bad to assume an over weight girl over eats constantly if you see she's gained weight and thinking you need to talk to her about it or warn others to not do the same. It's insulting really to just assume things about others.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Nope, we can't tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. No one can ever tell. Cause that's just too complicated for us regular folks to tell just by looking at them.

Yeah, gonna have to go ahead and claim bull to that statement. Sometimes ya can tell. We do happen to have brains that can work out the subtle clues.

Woooooooooow.

I don't even know what else to say other than this is the most appalling thing you've possibly ever posted.

 

[Shaun__]

This post reminds me of a high cam score well known model with a medical condition that is constantly explaining she eats lots of food, and that she is not starving or purging herself. I cannot imagine how tired she must be of hearing people explain how she needs to eat more stuff, and having pictures she post flagged. Bodies are very complicated, and people do not always share every facet of their lives with everyone.

 

[Sevrin]

People's weight varies. There's a difference between losing (or gaining) a few pounds now and then and having an eating disorder. In the case of someone who's already on the low BMI side, even 5 pounds can make a big difference. The same loss wouldn't even be noticeable for someone who's a bit heftier.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Woooooooooow.

I don't even know what else to say other than this is the most appalling thing you've possibly ever posted.

Someone made a blanket statement I disagreed with. In some cases it's rather easy to see some people have an eating disorder. How is that appalling in the least? Seriously, i see zero appalling in what i said.

 

[JoleneBrody]

No, it's not rather easy to see unless you personally know that person and their entire health record. That's what everyone is saying.

The woman you posted a picture of, has the physical appearance of MANY different illnesses. What people are saying is that it's wrong to accuse someone of or assume someone has an eating disorder unless you actually know for a fact.

If I actively do cardio on a regular basis I get very small, and accused of having an eating disorder. Being accused of having an eating disorder when you don't is incredibly hurtful, don't do it.

 

[KylieJacobs]

Please ladies, don't do anything like that because of other people's comments. As a member of MFC I can honestly say that we are not worth it!
Nobody else's opinion is worth your health.
Take care of yourselves.

I think the important part to take away from this is the quote above.

I agree with others about not bringing this up to the model. It would probably make her feel more insecure. Any number of things could be making her lose weight. A few years ago, I kept losing weight to the point that I was worried that something was wrong with me.

 

[DeezNA]

@dilligaf0 - Your concern is not unnoticed. The fact that you took the time to make a PSA about maintaining a healthy lifestyle is appreciated. This, however, does not apply exclusively to models. The psychological disorder roulette wheel does not discriminate between members or performers; this should be a note to everyone, not just models.

I have been clinically underweight consistently since I was 12. For a multitude of reasons, I simply do not gain weight. This has been pointed out by my members, I would wager I have proportionally gotten the same amount of comments like "eat a sandwich" and all that just as much as females. I simply retort that I ate an entire pizza before I got on cam and move right along.

The important part, as mentioned by Jicky, is that psychological disorders cannot be diagnosed visibly. One can be suffering from malnutrition, have a physical/health condition or simply have a naturally high metabolism and present as having signs of anorexia nervosa from an outsider's perspective extremely easily. For this to be an informative and helpful PSA, it's very important to know that anorexia nervosa (or any psychological or behavioral disorder) cannot simply be "turned off" and, for the most part, is not about food.

The reality is that an individual's disorder management is their responsibility. Body image can be a touchy subject for many people, especially in an industry where you are constantly under a microscope, so my recommendation to those who are concerned about a model is to do the only thing you can possibly do to help (whether they have a disorder or not) - be kind, generous, and compliment or simply walk away.

I also recommend a little research on the condition, since the term "anorexic" gets thrown around with a level of ignorance that, to me, is appalling considering we're on the internet. It's a lot more complex than simply "not eating" or "losing weight". An eating disorder is not a choice, it's a disorder. Suggesting others "please not do that because of others' comments" is only as applicable as saying "don't stop camming because some member said 'stop camming'".

Bottom line - Stay informed, on both sides of the situation. Regardless of the model's personal issues (or lack thereof), either show your support through positive encouragement, friendliness, and patronage or step aside. Anything further could actually potentially exacerbate the situation, disorder or not, and interferes with their ability to provide entertainment for you.

 

[CharlotteLace]

So, little personal story to share that might give some perspective.

I've had a super shitty year. Over the course of it, I've lost 20 pounds. Stress will do that. I now weigh what I did in middle school, which is unsettling. Knowing that your body has reached such a stressful point that it's now manifesting your issues into physical maladies can be pretty scary.

My regulars noticed and were on both sides of it. Either I'd get "aww no! You don't need to lose weight!" or "oh damn you look so fit now! Good job!" and either way it'd remind me that my stressful year has visibly changed me. Not a fun reminder, especially when my work needs me to be happy and cheerful and entertaining. The thought that it's intentional or done for camming is just narrow-minded. If a person tells you they're deliberately dieting/exercising and they're happy about the changes, well good for them. But if they're not bringing up their weight, maybe you shouldn't either. Leave that to their loved ones unless they choose to reach out to you.

Like others have said, you have no clue what's going on with a person unless they tell you. If you're really worried, showing support and being nice is one thing. But pointing out to a stranger that you're worried about them because they look visibly unhealthy? Just detrimental, especially in this industry. If she's going through so much that she's losing weight, pointing out that you notice and it's "not needed" might not be the best thing.

 

[Jillybean]

I haven't read everything but I just want to point out:

Not every person who has an eating disorder is thin!
And not every thin person has an eating disorder!

You cannot tell the cause of weight loss by looking, Jicky is right. You have NO IDEA if there's some other reason for her weight loss. It may not have been her choice at all. She could be sick, she could be depressed, or a multitude of other things could be going on.

There is no way for you to know. You can voice your concern, but honestly, it's likely to get you banned.

I think Dilligaf had a sweet, understanding sentiment. He didn't claim to have any knowledge of whether she is anorexic or not. He is just concerned for her, and honestly, just sounds sad and doesn't like seeing things like this happen.

Where I think he's wrong is thinking that she is losing weight because of what other people said to her. That's not the singular reason why people lose weight. It honestly usually has way more to do with internal pressures and issues than external.

 

[gonegirl2352]

I have somewhat of a pot belly and I love telling my guys to kiss and worship it...celebrate your "flaws" because they make you who you are and no one else has that special combination. With the thousands of models online at the same time as you, it really is an advantage to be unique.

 

[JordanBlack]

Blimey, this is unbelievable! Haven't we all been taught manners and how to be polite, as in not to comment on a stranger's weight, be it thin or chubby? Haven't we, as adults, watching adult stuff on a daily bases, noticed that women don't do jack shit to appease others, but do it because their are entitled to do it, being it's their body and all (tattoos, piercings, changing their hair color, getting boob jobs/ reductions, tummy tucks or nose jobs)....the large majority don't do it to appease their fans on mfc! We work out and diet because we want to, not because you say we don't need it! Get over it!

Apparently nowdays it's PC not to bring it up if someone's overweight, but raise a hell up if someone's bones are showing up. Learn how to adult, it's not your place to comment on someone's BMI, without knowing remotely anything about that someone's medical history or lifestyle.

(FYI, when I'm on cam with my lights on, I probably look 15 pounds lighter, keep that in mind - pro lights and all).

 

[JordanBlack]

*basis (oops). You know, English for non-English speaking people!

 

[dilligaf0]

I'm breaking my own rule, but this IS the last I'll say.
I posted out of genuine concern for others and found out it was a mistake.
I no longer care.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Would definitely bring something like this up with a real life friend if I thought they were having problems but would avoid mentioning anything to internet friends. Not my business and would never bring it up to any stripper or camgirl. Some are way too sensitive/defensive in general to take it as anything other than an attack. Plus like, I doubt they care what the random guy that pays them to entertain him really thinks tbh. And you never really know what is going on with someone unless they tell you. Well, sometimes it's super obvious that something is going on but still, not my business. And like, I like the skinny and toned looks so I can't really complain. And even if you think something is up, the person can have it under control and know what they are doing. I can go from 135 to 185 and back down pretty quickly. Weight cutting/gaining can be fun and safe if you have control over it. Felt like shit at 185 but liked the look. Rather be called Skeletor(weird insult cause Skeletor is pretty jacked) and never get tired and feel great over having to eat constantly and feeling like a zombie after a weak 20 minute run tho. So yeah, people will feel differently but I would for sure bring it up with those I know in real life. If they don't want to talk about it or explain what is going on, not a problem, won't mention it again. Would be more concerned about hard drug use if I saw a sudden unplanned drop in weight.

 

[DeezNA]

This needs to be clarified here. Eating disorders are rooted in anxiety disorders. Provoking that disorder by bringing attention to it is detrimental, especially if it is unsolicited; it brings anxious attention to the issue, thus provoking the very thing you are trying to "help". If there is genuine concern for others, let them deal with their problems on their own terms and at their own pace and be there to encourage them and help in any way that they seek out. Anything else can and most of the time will make things worse. (TL;DR - If you think the model has anorexia nervosa, that is the worse of all potential scenarios to confront them on.)

Gaining/losing weight =/= eating disorder. Saying a model looks like they suffer from anorexia simply because they have lost weight is like saying you are having a major depressive episode because you dropped a cookie on the floor. No one is diagnosing you, don't diagnose others. If you are uncomfortable being around this model, in any form, then leave the room; that's your problem, no need to make it theirs.

If, in the span of 24 hours, you go from universal concern on this issue in the cam world to "I no longer care", you never cared in the first place.

It's really easy to sit behind a screen, hiding behind text and give someone else "healthy living" tips, but how credible is this source? If you, as a member, were gaining weight (which no one would know) and we confronted saying "you need to eat less", "you need to get off your ass and exercise", "you need a healthier lifestyle", when you have been simply living your life and happened to put on a few pounds? How would that feel? And what the fuck do we know about your life, right? It could be muscle weight? You could be losing weight? We don't know, so it's not our place to judge.

Please remember why you are in a model's room in the first place: not to rescue a model from themselves, but to be entertained by a professional performer.

Nobody else's opinion is worth your health.
Take care of yourselves.

If you "think" a model is losing weight or underweight, that would be your opinion as well. No one is exempt from this, it goes both ways. No one else's opinion, positive or negative, is worth your health (physical and mental). Live and let live. As a member, take care of yourself first and if you truly support your models, allow and encourage them to do their job and support them as if your concerned observations had never surfaced. Don't inject yourself into their personal lives, especially without being invited in.

 

[yummybrownfox]

One of my pet peeves...when a skinny person turns down food (just not hungry, or just not interested in eating that particular food right now), and the other person says "Why? You on a diet or something? Girl, you need to eat, and put some meat on those bones. You can't afford to lose any weight." Um...excuse me? You really went there just because I said "No, thanks" to a plate of baked ziti? Lmao. Girl, please. I'm 32, 5'2", and like 110 pounds. Hell no, I'm not trying to lose weight. And if I was, do you really think I would've scarfed down two of these last night? Lol.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

If, in the span of 24 hours, you go from universal concern on this issue in the cam world to "I no longer care", you never cared in the first place.

I took the "I no longer care" to mean he no longer cared about the direction this thread was heading, not that he didn't care about the issue. This line may be a tad inflammatory. Just my opinion.

Now Deez, much of what you wrote I am in agreement with. Growing up, I was so skinny it looked like I was being starved, and the comments I received from family and peers about this only served to tear me down. I was not anorexic, and being repeatedly reminded that I looked that way hurt.

And kudos to you for your admonishment about why members visit rooms. This is indeed all about performers entertaining fans. This is also something that is incredibly easy to lose sight of. I wish you could have been there to remind me of this 3-4 days ago; it might have prevented me from embarrassing the hell out of myself.

But based on the the line I quoted above (and considering that it was delivered to a man who was regretful and in retreat), I am afraid I have no choice here. I must issue a turd.

I would like to close on a positive note here. This remark...

If you are uncomfortable being around this model, in any form, then leave the room; that's your problem, no need to make it theirs.

Spot on. And I would add, if it turns out that the thing that is making you uncomfortable is that the model does have a problem, then listen if they want to tell you about it. Tell them what you think if they ask your opinion. But for the love of all that is holy, resist the urge to say or do something in the hopes of fixing it. If OP's model has a problem, that is her problem; you can't make it yours (but I am not suggesting that is what OP has done here).

Empathy can be a real bitch sometimes.

 

[AmberCutie]

I'm breaking my own rule, but this IS the last I'll say.
I posted out of genuine concern for others and found out it was a mistake.
I no longer care.

I know the intention of the original post was out of caring. And I think a lot of people here read into the post and assumed OP wanted to confront the model about it or something. It clearly was stated as a "here's a situation I've witnessed, I don't know what to think of it, but here's something that concerns me" (I think this model may be unhealthy, maybe due to taking members' comments about her appearance to heart, I hope other models don't follow this same path, members can be really stupid don't take them seriously.)

Don't know why it was most peoples' first instinct to jump on the OP and treat him as if he's out of line and meddling in peoples' affairs. You can see how he posted from a place of goodness, so why all the scolding and negativity?

I took the "I no longer care" to mean he no longer cared about the direction this thread was heading, not that he didn't care about the issue.

Yeah, when a thread goes so fiercely south when the original intentions were good, I can't blame a person for having to stop caring WTF is being said in the thread anymore. Some people just have such a craving to point out people are wrong and flaunt their "know it all" that it can sometimes be really annoying.

All the "how dare you make this assessment!" fingerpointing... SMH.